AIBU to expect approx same value gift

Was just about to post same thing as Lucca.
As you both garden I assume you’d both appreciate such a useful gift. Tell your daughter that what her dad asked for would be lovely joint present for you both.
If it’s so important to you then ask your husband to stand back next year and let you choose.
Personally we don’t really bother with gifts for adults. The Christmas present thing is about the children.

Dh will not let me use these gifts. They are solely for him. Therefore it is not a joint gift.

Won’t let you. Oh dear.

Just thinking of a good place to shove his dibber

Properly grown up people really should be above this sort of thing IMO.

Maggiemaybe

^I think that people are piling on a bit here.^

Yep. And there’s a bit of unnecessary name calling going on as well. It always happens when GNHQ highlights a thread in its newsletter.

If you put a thread starting AIBU......

You can’t really expect 100%. “Oh no you’re not dear”

25Avalon if he refuses to let you use his new garden toys then I suggest you put your feet up and watch the cantankerous old git get on with the gardening unaided.

Good grief what greedy adults! One ordering expensive garden gear, another with £100 secret santas! Anyone ever heard its the thought that counts??! And 25 Avalon, whilst i agree on principle that you are fairer to have same value gifts, i think its very unfair of him to ask for more expensive ones from your DD- maybe if it was for gifts you were buying each other yes, but from others- and hes plenty time for ordering/delivering garden items surely? He's talking like its a week to christmas or something.If you want me to be honest, id ring DD tell her not to worry, but to get him ONE item on his list & you will get other,(or give her the money for it!) As your gift for him. So then you too can choose something cheaper from her as well. We dont 'demand' expensive gifts,thats taking advantage.

GNW- ???

What has this to do with Christmas? Do you actually need anything? Rise above it and ask her to make a donation to charity of your choosing.

Every family s gift giving is different. At my age I don't want or need any more stuff and that is what I say when asked. I have been surprised by lovely joint presents from all 3 adult chn- tablet, tickets for musicals etc. Their dad usually gets pyjamas!
I agree with an earlier post that it takes all the joy out of Xmas. Make up asap.

You can’t really expect 100%. “Oh no you’re not dear”

Not quite what I said, is it, Lucca?

I’ve disagreed with the OP myself. I didn’t feel the need to call her a spoilt brat while doing so.

25Avalon, reading between the lines, I think there is more to this than the OP.
For myself, I think your D?h was sneaky and selfish and greedy to snatch the Christmas Present off Dd for just himself.
Is he usually so self centered?
I find it very strange that he won’t share his garden tools with you, so this present will be just for him.
What would he say if you had told Dd you would like an expensive bottle of perfume for Christmas?
You could have even been generous and shared it with him.
I say selfish sod.....

Look you didn’t come up with anything for three days he obviously did and got in there probably thinking he’d been very clever to think of something
There doesn’t sound much contact between you two and you say you don’t share things you obviously don’t consult each other so is this more about how you feel about your mate or do you normally get along really well I mean if you do I would have thought you would have laughed it off and said that ll be too much for X she only normally spends £50 on both of us and you ve gone over that so which one do you want ?
Then tell your daughter Dad was in a muddle he
would like X and I d love Y

But really this isn’t about the meaning of present giving surely you shouldn’t even know the price spent on you it sounds so cold and meaningless

Going to sound harsh I know but In my experience, children may write their letters to santa so that he gets a general idea of what they like, but He chooses what to get the kids, because then its a surprise...just straight out asking for certain stuff to me takes the magic and love out of gift buying, and secondly to then HAVE to have the same sort of amount spent on yourself is straight out what my children used to be like when they were younger, and they were told then 'Its not about how much something is worth, its about the love that goes into giving and recieving said pressie! If you argue over the cost, you truly aren't getting anything out of it anyway!'

I would never be able to order my presents off my children, they would mean nothing, they'd be like a glorified amazon assistant! lol
Life is too short! Buy yourself the things you really want, pressie buying should be about being thought about and loved and getting a lovely little surprise! x

Why don't you tell your daughter something you would like with maybe a £20‐30 value and tell her to just buy the dibber for your husband?

Not worth getting het up about. Dd can decide if she buys him what he asks for or not. Is there anything you particularly want? If so ask for it and see what arrives on Christmas morning. You're all adults. Christmas is the season if goodwill to everyone.

It shouldn’t be about the money. Why can’t he just say he wants a sieve and a dibber, and then it’s up to your daughter to buy what she can afford, not what he dictates.

I've told my son & daughter, for several years now, I don't need Birthday & Christmas presents & would get much more pleasure in whatever money they would spend being given to animal charities, mainly Soi Dogs & Peta. I've just had my 80th birthday & they gave £40 each to Soi Dogs ( an amazing charity ). Apparently there is a wall of remembrance at the Soi Dog Foundation & a plaque will be put there on my behalf. I couldn't have asked for a nicer present.

Sorry Avalon25, he does sound like a spoilt brat!

Oh dear, when I read stuff like this I am so glad I am poor.

Isn't this rather petty arguing if gifts you get cost the same. Be thankful that you were asked what you want.

We just buy for the children now. I give a small money gift to a homelessness charity every year instead of sending cards. I think it is strange to be upset about wanting presents of equal value at our age but everyone is different i suppose.

So many people have so many problems around presents. It was solved for us 40 years ago, when my MIL said she didn’t like the presents we bought her for Christmas. That set the stage for the rest of our lives, or until we became estranged 20 years ago. We decided from that point...we’d no longer buy for adults, just children. It works beautifully, and there’s never any problems.