AIBU to get a bit annoyed every year with SIL giving us a Christmas card from a pack.

I also like to buy special cards for DH, DD's and DSiL's, DS's and DBiL's, DB and DSiL and DGC, l buy a nice box of charity cards for anyone else, my DM is the only person who did the same except for this year as she's stuck indoors. I love doing this but it's my choice and the only person l EXPECT A PERSONAL CARD FROM (he's looking over my shoulder ?) is DH

To answer your question, yes, totally ridiculous.

I suspect it’s a class/culture thing ........

YANBU I always do special family cards and I'm insulted when others don't

I see the spirit of Christmas is alive and well! How could you possibly take offence at this? Be glad you got a card.

OP Through no fault of your own you have been persuaded by card manufacturers that it is necessary and more polite to send differentiated Christmas cards. This is pure marketing and utter rubbish. Such cards are invariably hideous and dated, and of minimal or no benefit to charities. I’d be embarrassed to send one, myself.
Or do you maybe just not like your sister in law for other reasons, and you’re involuntarily casting around for more reasons to feel annoyed by her?
I also have a profoundly annoying SIL so if this is the case, I know how you feel!

No wonder there are so many family problems with expectations like this! My MIL was just the same, complained about the presents she had one year. That was the last time she got any! Did us a favour really?

Like the others, I also find those special “named” cards irredemiably naff. Can’t bear them, but luckily family and friends would never dream of sending them!

Also, I prefer cards with no glitter, kittens, or robins on logs, so I must be a Miserable Old Git!

Goodness me, what a fuss about nothing. I personally dislike so called "special" cards - to me they are sentimental and naff. But each to their own. Just be thankful you have a card - mindful of postage and the environment I send very few these days and make up for it with a text or a phone call.

Why waste money...even if you have it ...on something that’s heading for the bin?

I'd be annoyed if anyone sent me a 'special card'. I bet your family members would probably prefer the money and the charities which could benefit from your card-giving are missing out too. Yes, you're being unreasonable.

I buy special cards for Mum and my DD. DH and I don’t send cards by mutual agreement. I send cards to close friends I don’t see very often but not to Bob the Builder or Ernie the Milkman! I had stopped sending to people I am in regular contact with and do make a charity donation, however this year I have sent cards as it has not been possible for a catch up over a coffee, I think it lets people know they are thought of.

In recent years I've stopped exchanging cards with friends and neighbours I see and talk to regularly.And since we downsized I'm glad not to receive as many.However I do give a small donation to the charity whose cards I would have bought packs from.And make a big effort to phone or get in touch with those we don't see regularly and actually talk.I have felt annoyed that my SIL even forgot to send me a birthday card for years,and even DH her brother didn't get one this year.However I've now let that feeling go.She is a bit flaky and disorganised generally but I know if we had a crisis or needed morale support she would be there for us in a shot and it wasn't worth stewing over.If you have a good relationship with your sister OP that's worth more than some card.

I buy special cards for all the family which amounts to 12 cards, I also receive the same special cards back, and I have to say i do love them, they have pride of place. This year though eldest son said he didn’t know why I bother, their not sending any cards this year, so I might have a rethink next year ?

YABU

From the title of this thread I thought you were getting a single card from a pack of cards . This year the Ace of Spades, next the two of Hearts- would take 52 years to accumulate the whole pack.

Many years ago I did an evening Home Care round. One of my clients was a lovely, very elderly, lady.
She said she'd given up sending Christmas cards as anyone who still saw her would know she was ok, and anyone else who didn't get a card would just assume she'd died.
She said it was a great relief not to have to bother!

Scribbles Something to treasure for ever

I don't think exactly that you were being unreasonable but it is a case of different strokes for different folks.

I do not buy special cards either. I send nice quality charity cards to everyone. Over the years I have culled my Christmas card list.

It certainly does Scribbles. Treasure that card.

I have no words.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202012/medium-70168-aviary-image-1608068901324.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202012/medium-83204-aviary-image-1608068694101.jpeg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202012/medium-621519-aviary-image-1608068551119.jpeg

I'm no great fan of those pre-printed special cards but there is one very special card I have treasured for almost 50 years.

Around the time my late OH and I got together, my parents moved from Essex to NE Scotland and we were invited to spend our first Christmas together with them in the new abode.

On Christmas Eve, the postman made a surprise delivery. OH knew I dislike schmaltz so he chose a rather arty but unsentimental card to demonstrate his skill. Until that card arrived, I'd had no idea he was a skilled calligrapher.

He rarely exercised his talents and never on another card for me. Shortly after his death, I came across his pens and inks boxed up on a shelf in the garage and cried over them. No idea what I will do with them but I might just mark the solstice next week (I don't do Christmas these days) by putting up the card alongside the poinsettias, berries and cut flowers. It deserves another outing, I think.

“Special Cards”. Do you mean those large cringeworthy “To my darling grandmother at Christmas time” type ones?
I hide those behind the others.
Give me a small charity card any day.

yellowcanary I know that some people do give to charity in place of sending cards.
I saw the acknowledgements to my brother where he had given £100 to each of 3 charities close to his heart. He also left £20 into the local Children’s Hospice for each child who was long term and would be in over Christmas to get them a gift.

I was in my local Cancer Charity Shop when my neighbour (who didn’t see me) came in and made a sizeable ‘Christmas donation’ in lieu of cards and some gifts.

Some people are kind and honour their promise. ?

Kadinsky I don’t think you were being unreasonable, just maybe a little out of touch. We can pay way over the top for ‘special’ cards, when the only important thing is the message it conveys. I usually choose an appropriate picture & charity card and write a very personal message.

PollyDolly

I had to "educate" my OH who would insist on special cards for his offspring and separate ones for each of the four grandchildren after I witnessed one of the children open said special card, check the contents for money and throw is down on the coffee table in disgust because there was no cash in it!

We now buy nice charity cards for a variety of causes and no one gets a special card.

Total waste of money as far as I'm concerned so yes, YABU!

OP has already returned and updated us.