Unkind comments

Woodmouse, me too!......... been told I have a lovely smilebut, who can go about their business smiling all the time!..at least the mask can hide my miserable face now! lol

I was never keen on the Queen Mother as she was always always smiling (smirking) and seemed phoney to me. She had obviously decided on the fixed smile early in life. It was so fixed she could not remove it for a funeral.

I went into our local with my friend who was greeted by ‘John’ saying, “My you’ve fair put on the beef”. In calm, measured tones she replied, “ Now, John, you know you’ve spoiled my night out? I could have said that you’re fair losing your hair, but I considered your feelings. Couldn’t you have done the same?”
He was indeed losing his hair, and looked irate that she had mentioned it! She had stopped smoking and gained quite a bit of weight.

Another fellow ( who was blessed with prominent ears) said something to her on a very windy day about being glad she had some weight to keep her down. The reply? “ Well, you’re probably jealous, because with those f*@‘kin ears you could take off at any minute”.

FannyCornforth

*grandtanteJE65*
You called a child a 'cheeky brat' in order to teach her to be polite?!

I thought that too!

Asked for a verbal reference about me on headteacher said “she s a very good teacher but she doesn’t smile much.” He only ever saw me when passing in the corridor ....when I was most probably thinking reasonably hard about my next lesson ! But sadly I too have a resting bitch face.

I was often told “cheer up it may never happen”, mostly when I was a child by other children. Didn’t think of it as being unkind, just part of growing up. Remember John Thaw saying something like when in repose his face looked it had been smacked by a kipper, I knew what he meant.
(Tbh prefer that to having a permanent grin like Professor Brian Cox, looks rather creepy).

The Queen’s resting face is a miserable one, but it really lights up when she smiles.
I like to think mine does too, but otherwise I look worried or frowning. Must try to keep smiling.
Why are people so intrusive?

It must be very annoying if you have a mouth that turns down and strangers pass comments ( at least having a mask at the moment means that won’t happen) but I think I would just ignore a comment rather than claim bereavement, after all, they may then apologise and get into a conversation with you about it.
I think I may have a worried look too Kalu after catching sight of myself when out recently, but we can’t go about smiling vacantly can we?

I really envy people with permanently happy faces ,my dil has one. Mine however is the opposite, somebody once said I looked very unhappy ?

no, i don't think one should ever refer to bereavement if it is untrue, just to make a point, because it such a serious matter. just feels wrong to me.
but agree that some people, usually men to women, presume by making intrusive comments.
think i might tell them to flock off . or similar. maybe i should practice it. something short and explosive.

My resting face is seemingly a worried look, I am not worried I am thinking about various things going on in my head, unimportant fleeting thoughts. For years though I have had people ask, are you ok, oh, you look awfully worried!

When out, now very aware of my resting face, I put on a bit of a smile. Caught this expression in a shop window one day which may have people now thinking, that woman is not quite right in the head. Can’t win.

I would never be the pass remarkable rude type to a stranger as I have no idea what goes on in peoples lives. I really don’t understand the type.

I couldn’t use the excuse that a family member had died though if it wasn’t true.

Why are some people so " pass remarkable ?" It's because they've got no manners, simple as that.
I wouldn't dare say anything horrible to anyone.

I'm a smiley person by nature which doesn't mean to say that I can't show sympathy/empathy, it's just the way I am because I like to feel that a smile would make someone feel better no matter who it is or what they look like.

Apparently as a baby I was a sulky puss especially if having a photo taken where dad did everything but stand on his head to make me smile----but none forthcoming so I don't know what changed.

I was in a service station on the M1 Moterway, having just witnessed my mother;s horrendous death. A stupid girl on a nearby table shouted over to me ' Cheer up in might never happen. ' It's wrong to comment on the way a person is looking, It;s rude, and thoughtless.

My resting face is Miserable Cow. I've had a few remarks over the years. The irony is that I have a reputation for cheerfulness which is true.

My advice is ignore the remarks of strangers which they have no right to be giving you. What if someone were walking around looking miserable for whatever reason? The only acceptable thing would be to ask someone if something was wrong out of natural compassion but you would only expect this from someone you know.

TerriBull now practicing my resting bitchface

I am left side hemiplegic. It never ceases to amaze me when complete strangers feel entitled to comment on or question me about my health, based on my appearance. So rude.

I believe a "sulky" look when the face is in repose is known as "resting bitch face". Probably not sulky at all just a normal non smiley face. I got hauled out in front of my class aged about 7 or 8 and whacked by a particularly vicious nun, apparently I had an insolent look on my face, as far as I was aware it was my normal expression I've never forgotten that incident it's forever stored away in my brain as one of the most unfair things that happened during my school days.

Moving on when I was in my teens and twenties there would be many occasions when the idiot type of male came out with that inane of inanest remark "cheer up love" Does anyone say this to men??? are we supposed to walk around grinning like a Cheshire Cat from ear to ear People who say this to strangers or indeed anyone they know are beyond irritating imo!

Tell them to mind their own business OP, as you quite rightly pointed out who knows what pain someone has just gone through, we are all entitled to be alone with our thoughts without interference from idiots!

No, Fanny, it is always right for a responsible adult to point a child in the right direction. It is always wrong to comment on another';s appearance unless the comment is a sincere compliment at the appropriate time.

grandtanteJE65
You called a child a 'cheeky brat' in order to teach her to be polite?!

I’m inclined to agree with FannyC on the response.
I agree with most others that people should keep their comments to themselves but think that probably most are just being friendly and mean we’ll.
We don’t know what’s going on in their life either and to tell them that you have just lost someone when you haven’t will make them feel wretched.

It has happened to me too and I hate it! It happened to me once in a pub when my companion had gone to the loo and I was sitting alone. A strange man approached and said "cheer up". I was infuriated and when my companion returned he was amazed to find me in engaged in a pub brawl.

I wouldn’t say I was vain (!) but I have always been shortsighted and until I absolutely needed my glasses for driving I rarely wore them out, just used to get by with the world just a bit fuzzy round the edges. I realised though that I was frowning because I was trying to make out numbers on buses/whether I recognised that person across from me/ so as people used to comment on my “worried expression” , to compensate I would put a silly smile on my face at the same time.
I’m surprised the men in white coats weren’t called!

No adult has ever said anything like that to me.

A schoolchild once told me I looked cross. I replied that I wasn't, that she was rude to say so, and that it really was a wonder I wasn't cross with cheeky brats like her in the class.

After that there was no more trouble with that class and the child and I became good friends.

My mum always had a downward-turned mouth when her face was 'in repose'. I tend to do the same, especially when pensive. Probably most people's faces tend to be like that.

You can't smile all the time or you'd look like you'd lost your marbles.

I bet those rude people who comment can look just as miserable!