Breakfast ritual

My DH and I have our own routines in the morning. He has never been a breakfast person; basically got up and went straight to work while I had my coffee and breakfast before waking children. I needed that 30 min of quiet time before the hectic day began.

Now that he is retired, but I still work we still have our own routine; he heads into the extra room to exercise, and I have my 30 min of peace in the kitchen. He is a bit of a kitchen clanker, so the odd time when he comes in and starts clanking dishes around, I give a big 'har-umph' and he laughs and clanks louder.

I don’t do grumpy either. Life’s too short! My Mum could go days without speaking, I could never understand it.

Mine gets up between 3 and 5 am. We never share breakfast at home!

Just explain your needs to him - it's all you can do. We all need our space in one form or another and that's all you're asking for.

Other way round here. I'm a lark and DH is an owl. We have breakfast together though and mask my irritating perkiness and his irritating grumpiness by having separate newspapers to hide behind. Tricky when the papers stopped coming during full lockdown and we only had our iPads ?

Sounds as if he is trying to be close to you and kind. There used to be an saying, not to refuse a volunteer. Perhaps your ‘space’ may be another time.

How about letting him do the leftover kitchen chores from previous night and/or animal feeds when he gets up. Before he is allowed to ask what you want for breakfast. If he really wants to be helpful. Or it may keep him in bed longer.

This happens to me over the day - ‘What do you want to eat?’
only an hour after we have just eaten. I don’t have much interest in food and can rarely pinpoint something I do want.
Quite often a yoghourt with nuts and fruit will do fine. I repeatedly say I’ll sort myself out - to no avail

I wish I still had my husband to grumble about. He never made anything but a cup of tea.

My Husband and I used to have “quiet time” first thing in the morning ? it was for an hour and my first 3 coffees! He hated it as he was a naturally happy, morning person however he did it because he knew I had spent 10 plus years on my own with my son.

I thought that I would convert him (so to speak) to quiet time... for a while it was great.. but then to my astonishment, I started speaking in the morning as I could see he was like an excited puppy bursting with things to tell me.

8 years on I enjoy us getting up together. I also really enjoy the days that I am up early, just chilling.

Can your chat to your Hubby and work out a way to transition to each other?

I would hate that too Rosalyn69 because I am so grouchy first thing. Luckily there is absolutely no chance of me getting up early nowadays.

It's lunch time that gets me. Every day at about 11.30 I'm asked what's for lunch - as if I care. We've been retired 12 years and he still doesn't get it it that for me lunch is whatever you can scavenge in the fridge. He also starts asking what's for tea at about 4 pm (this can be useful on days when I've forgotten to get meat out of the freezer!). Otherwise he' a great DH!

I would love my husband to offer to prepare breakfast, or any meal. On the rare occasion he has I have been falling over myself with gratitude!

I'm a lark, my DH and DS owls. DH is severely disabled and more or less completely bedbound, not rising till 6pm.They don't do breakfast - only eat late at night, but DS likes a coffee or two when he emerges. So I get up and make tea, cereal or toast, maybe a sarnie at lunch time and my main meal at around 6. Since I'm also not keen on meat, most of my meals are veggie. I listen to Radio 3 and work on my computer most of the morning and resent my fellas watching TV as soon as DH gets up right through till bedtime. I hardly ever watch TV - like to watch the news, Uni Challenge, Songs of Praise and the occasional drama/film, most of which leave them cold, so they record anything I want to watch. May sound weird, but works well for us.

how about a banana on your cereal readybrek?

People do have different mornings . I get up hours before my husband wh has taken to lying in late during lockdown. I find it slightly annoying as he is often having breakfast when I think about lunch! I think we have to try and roll with things especially at the moment. Maybe just say you would prefer to get your own when youre ready. We always try to at least have our evening meal together.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I live alone and have the same breakfast every day, even if I don't get up until lunchtime. I have rolled oats microwaved with milk and a spoonful of golden syrup and then topped with ground linseed and chia seeds. Filling, lasting and keeps one "regular". When away from home, I take a small container of seeds with me. I wouldn't say no to a smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel,but that would be lunch. I was married (once) to a man who never cooked in his life. That was enough.

When my DH retired we clashed a lot he was taking over the kitchen it drove me mad. After many stupid arguments we decided he would take the dog out come back and make my first cup of tea then leaves me to my iPad. This is a good compromise and stop bickering which is pointless.

i have the same problem but lucky it is only friday night to monday morning, dp gets up and constantly talks ether to him self, the tv or just makes up stupid sayings, i need an hour with no tv, i have trying telling him for 17 bloody years but he just sits and sighs and huffs till i say fine put the tv on, i don't eat breakfast ...not since i was 15, if i go upstairs he keeps coming up to ask if i want a cup of tea...don't drink tea...am i ok...when am i coming down....feeling worse at the moment as he is here for 2 weeks, i am in tier 4 but we have the extended houshold, just can't wait for him to go home next monday....happy new year to all the gransnetters xxx

How I would love to have my husband to want to make my breakfast. Those of us on our own don’t have that luxury.

Rosalyn69 I do not have a husband around to bother me about breakfast (not really bothered about that)
I do have the job of feeding animals and giving one of them medication as soon as I get up, which is something you say you also do.
If I had a husband around he would be told one thing get me a hot cup of tea and one slice of toast because it wakes me up for the day. Then like you Rosalyn69 I would just finish a couple of chores off.

Elegran Your last sentence says it all. How I wish my husband was still here.

We tend to eat different things at different times but I will always ask my husband if he would like porridge which I don't eat but he does. I have the same breakfast every morning, berries, quark and bran flakes. I only have it because it is better for my pancreas to eat regularly otherwise I'd wait until lunch time.
I am not a morning person as it takes me a while to get rid of brain fog but I do try to look reasonably cheerful because it isn't much fun for everybody else if I am grumpy. However, if pushed, I can be easily driven to ogre status. My children are the same.

My husband is always up before me, he gets up around 5.30. He sets the table and puts the kettle and toast on about 7 from there we both get what we want. Only on Sundays does he do a big cooked breakfast. Personally I would never complain about anyone wanting to make me breakfast. Cant you do your chores after breakfast?