Birthday flowers

Sorry I didn’t mean to come across as ungrateful ... yes a bad day but both sons just had birthdays and I bought hotel stay for 1 ( lives overseas ) and a wine tasting course for other ...DIL had Tillyanna personalise bag plus garden plants all well received think i just felt no thought M&S click yes better than not being thought of and may be bit ungrateful but after all these years they should know I dislike cut flowers oh well next year cut flowers for all ????

Take any present with good grace. I’m sure their intentions were good ones and they thought flowers would cheer you up.
My husband always ignored presents (but would sulk if he didn’t get any) so I decided long ago that I “could” spend the equivalent number of years on something I wanted.
Belated happy birthday

Happy Birthday HomeAgain123. ?

I have bought flowers and chocolates for quite a few people during the current situation.

Yes, you can order other things online but, if they have to be sent back, it can mean a trip out to the Post Office.

Sorry OP but I understand why your children have bought flowers and chocolates.

I’m always sending flowers and the people I send them to are always grateful they’re not too expensive from NEXT and can go through the letterbox they flower out beautifully after a couple of days - wish I would get flowers sent to me. Who knows? I believe it’s valentines day soon

I always told my daughter she could "owe me one".

Then, months later when I'd forgotten all about it, we may be shopping and I'd see something lovely, but would be hesitant to buy it.
She would say she'd buy it for me, and it was genuinely a lovely surprise

Sorry, I just felt the need to tell someone that. Don't mind me.

For some reason my DM hates getting flowers??‍♀️
One of my sister’s doesn’t seem to have got the message and none of us likes to tell her because it would upset her, All those years when she thought her gift was welcome.
It is unfortunate that all your children sent you a similar gift.
Perhaps you could says that although you loved the gift perhaps in future they could get together and stagger the deliveries?
Your house must have resembled a flower shop.?

I can understand op’s frustration. I’m not the best gift giver, but my mother used to get particularly frustrated with her mother in law’s gift giving. My DM would buy Liberty print bathrobes and gorgeous little purses and such like, (which DM’s MIL loved) and MIL would give my DM a card and some corner store chocolates or forget all together. It seems perhaps OP is upset as gift giving is from listening and observing, noticing and remembering the things people like and might want....

I once worked with someone who loved to get a container of Ajax for Christmas and birthdays- each to their own.
Just a suggestion but people often set up a 'Just Giving' page in lieu of presents, especially for birthdays, at the moment. Why not try that? It's a win win for everyone.

I love sending my adult children very personal gifts but find it so difficult now. I don't know their record collections or the books they have read or the size for clothing etc. I do try the back door by asking their partners for suggestions but this isn't often helpful. I do have the odd success but it is a real hit or a miss affair. Usually resort to a jokey book enclosing a cheque.k

I tend to ask for things like lampshades and shelves, then that annoys some people.

Flowers and chocolates are perfect for me. As they are perishable, they won't clutter up my already cluttered house or end up at the back of a drawer never to be seen again. Much as I love earrings, I really do have more than enough. My DSs are also very generous with gift vouchers so that I can choose what I really want.

Yes, I've been called that and worse by my family over not wanting anything for my birthday rather than them waste their time and money.

Ungrateful springs to mind.

Is that what you do for your sons and daughters, too?

Oh dear, I've just ordered flowers - and good quality chocolates - to be sent to an elderly relative for her birthday. (She lives 150 miles away, in a care home.) Does this indicate that I'm lacking in thoughtfulness? Personally, I'm always thrilled to receive flowers. (And really good chocolates!)

As Mapleleaf says, you need to tell them, has this always been the case on your Birthday? There’s not been the opportunity to see each other in the last year to drop subtle hints, or for them to pick up on your preferences.

I'm really not bothered about birthdays or christmas at all, including buying or getting presents, I suppose.
So from my curmudgeonly point of view, I think "For goodness sake, why waste your money?" when I get something I'm not fussed to have.

OP

A curious question: would you prefer you dont get anything on your bday, instead of flowers and chocolates?
Whar would be your ideal outcome?

I agree with you OP. Thoughtless, and such a waste of money.

I think flowers and chocs are a lovely gift, I’d be thrilled to receive them. Many people get nothing whatsoever from their children if some posts on GN are anything to go by.

Are you allergic to flowers or do you just dislike them?

Maybe you have lots of things already and they are unsure what to buy you? Perhaps you need to drop some hints about what you would like/need as the special occasions draw near.

I really doubt it’s a case of you only being at the end of a “click of the button” and you are not thought about. If you were not thought about, you wouldn’t get anything, I think. Flowers are not cheap to send, either, but if there are other things you would prefer, you need to say what sort of things - people can’t read your mind.

The flowers and chocolates mean they are thinking of you on your bday - isnt the thought that really counts?

I get it, and I will probably sound ungrateful too. People send me flowers, including family and all of them know that I suffer with hay fever to a debilitating level. So, beautiful as they are, all gifts of flowers either get passed on or end up outside as I can't cope with them in the house. I worry more that people have wasted their money, though I do realise I can be hard to buy for. I've never had the heart to tell friends - or to tell them that I rarely drink alcohol, or eat chocolate because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But you'd think family would grasp it.

Half the problem with sending/giving really good gifts to others is that sometimes they feel they can't compete and will get it wrong. I think people often feel that they can't go wrong with food and flowers.

I think there's a difference between people you know, and family.
I suppose every family is different.

It's not the cost, because my real favourite thing is a nice pair of slippers, so I really appreciate that as a present.

Think how you would feel if they had sent you nothing! During lockdown it is difficult to get out to buy anything and whatever you get has to be sent on. Flowers are one item you can arrange to have delivered direct.