Birthday flowers

Why not send any family members that normally do this a polite email saying " Thank you so much for the flowers I received for my birthday recently, but could I make a suggstion? During these weird times when a lot of charities are losing out, perhaps you could make a donation in my name to (your favourite charity) for future special days." If you're not happy with that, do what I do, everyone generally knows to send me an Amazon gift voucher for birthdays or christmas. I am never offended by that.

If you don't like cut flowers and your friends/family know this then they are clearly not giving any thought to you whatsoever. Chocolate are also known to be the 'I can't be bothered to think about what to buy' substitute.

Personally, I've been known to refuse flowers from the delivery company in the past and they've had to take them back to the shop and notify the buyer that they've been refused. As far as chocolates are concerned, I've looked at them and said 'thank you for the thought but you know I don't eat (nuts/ plain choc.....), so these are of no use to me'. My ex- husband was the worst culprit for this, he knew right from when we first met that I can throw up just looking at a box of Ferrero's, but he insisted on buying them every mothers' day, birthday, easter and xmas, suffice to say I didn't tolerate him as a husband for too many years!

I know it's meant I've ended up with no gift from the giver on that particular occasion but they get the message eventually and if they don't, I just send them the chocolates back for their birthday/xmas and have even made the point of putting a post-it note on them saying that I'm regifting them back to them because I've told them several times that I don't eat/like them.

If rather have nothing than something I hate.

My son is an absolute star though, even through the pandemic, rather than buy something random he knows that is hate, he's sent me a lovely card with a little note saying "I owe you ..... a day out/lovely meal/book/gift of your choice at some point when we can get out to choose something properly".

Basically, what I'm saying is that there's no excuse for buying things that wouldn't be enjoyed or are simply thoughtless just as a way of sending something/anything on the specific date. A thoughtful card and a note to say you'll do something at another time is much better!

So when you get these flowers and chocs up dislike, what do you do with them? Chuck them away? Dump the flowers on a vase and put them somewhere out of the way? Do you eat the chocs or chuck them in a cupboard to languish there until you find them spring cleaning? If so can I make a suggestion please. Why don't you actually do something with the flowers such as trying your hand at flower arranging? Garden centres are open to get some green Oasis foam and other bits or get them online. There are loads of free floristry tutorials on You Tube as well as books on Amazon. The other alternative is flower drying and pressing. Again You Tube has videos and lots of ideas for some simple crafts using the dried or pressed blooms. If you end up loking any of the above and fancy getting in further, tell your children thanks to their flowery gifts you have a new hobby and would love to have more books or bits and bobs to further your skills. Hopefully they might get the hint or just outright ask! With regards to chocolates, drop one or two into a mug of milky coffee or hot chocolate and stir to melt. Failing that I'll send you my address as I run a rescue centre for unwanted confectionery!

Hi, why not create an Amazon wish list. Once complete let your relatives know. Then it's easy for them to select something from it, have it gift wrapped and sent to you without leaving the house. That way you get something you want and they are happy too. Simples!

I would be happy with flowers although I am usually asked what I want. What I hate, in normal times, is those horrible moonpig type printed cards. I like my cards to have a hand written message in. I realise that in these times it is not acceptable to be browsing birthday cards though.

I'm afraid I do understand the sadness of the OP here. Flowers, though lovely are somewhat impersonal aren't they. Lovely to say "I love you" or "I'm sorry" but easily bought and sent. If my AC's spent so little time I would be disappointed too. Lots of people here are saying how difficult it is to buy presents at the moment. Really? I have bought and sent some lovely gifts this year using the myriad of on line traders. 'Cottage' 'Etsy' etc etc.

They say its the thought that counts but sometimes it is obvious that there has been no thought. It is easy to buy gifts online at the moment and have them delivered as I have done and they have been much appreciated. Flowers and chocolates are the easy way out and if you have ordered for delivery from a florist you don’t know there can be a lot of greenery and little flowers.

Why do some posters have to be so mean and sarcastic? The OP is not feeling sorry for herself she is just staying a preference. I totally understand not wanting flowers from everyone. I too, prefer to see flowers growing outside.For my sisters birthday I sent her a jar of apricot and vanilla jam, a book, an aromatherapy mist spray and a box of french biscuits. All from Amazon, and received next day. She was delighted as I had at least shown a little thought !

Do all AC know OP dislike flowers?
Could it be a communication problem and Ac dont really know how much she dislikes them?

i once had a gift of a heavy and bulky flower pot. just before moving home so it was very difficult to move as over 200 miles away. i would have preferred nothing or chocolates . the worst part was having to say thankyou for something that was so difficult to move- took up a lot of space in the car!

HomeAgain123 says that despite her daughter knowing she doesn't like cut flowers, she received three bouquets for her birthday, and that it's happened before. Sorry but I'd be seriously disappointed too!

We do need to let them know what we would appreciate though, my preferences are always hand cream, red wine or gin, depending on the giver's budget.
I really don't want flowers or chocolates either, or anything that gathers dust!

For Christmas I received some craft gin, a bottle of wine, some lovely Liz Earle handcream and some Ted Baker handwash, handcream and room spray.
Luxurious brands I wouldn't have bought myself, so a real treat and a pleasure to use ?

When there are people who simply get forgotten every year on their birthday and Christmas, I think you are lucky to get presents! We often think we know peoples motives but we can never read another persons thoughts, so try not to judge. They remember you on special days, and they spend money on you so look for the love and assume that their attentions are loving.

When is a post about flowers not about flowers? When does a poster who admits she knows it sounds ungrateful not need to be told circa 200 times that she is indeed ungrateful and ought not to be?

When is a post on GN about someone reaching out to others and hoping for a bit of empathy because they are feeling sad a post inviting people to constantly insult her integrity?

Come on people, be kind, it doesn't hurt, honest.

well a lot of comments here,

me? I just love to receive flowers, preferring not cut flowers normally, well they don`t last too long do they?

but the way things are now,, well I just feel so warmed that anyone has remembered me,, usually my family,, but I would love to send more flowers to others of my friends, but I fear they may feel that I have gone ott, and would feel the need to respond similarly,, so sad

Lovely, caring daughter*

I would be thrilled with flowers and chocolates...
My son, particularly, buys me 'original' gifts but some of them are a bit odd! Lol.
Tbh, I don't care and love them because I love him. I know folk who have lost children and I consider myself fortunate to have a son who is a fine, strong young father and a lovely, daughter, for that matter too. They could give me anything and I'd be blessed.

I can't think of anything more uplifting or cheering than being sent a beautiful bouquet. I cannot understand anybody not being delighted. Maybe some people would be happier getting nothing at all on their birthday from their children. See how that feels. I've been there and I can assure them it hurts. And it really does prove that it's the thought that counts.

Personally I would be delighted with flowers as it means they ve thought about me and made sure I ve had something special on my birthday xx

I have been buying my mother monthly flowers for both Christmas and birthdays recently. When asked by another family member what she wanted in their unsecured Santa gift pool this year, she opted for monthly flowers on the fortnights in between my dates! It's all expensive but great to know she has something she appreciates.

I've had an absolute nightmare trying to buy gifts this year. Usually I go for a small thoughtful gift that reflects the recipient. This year it's been all online and cost twice as much with postage. Flowers by post cost the earth! Im sorry you are disappointed. Personally I'm happy with a card and a phone call.

Getting a present on your birthday shows that somebody has thought of you and that is a reason to feel happy. Unwanted gifts can be stored and given to charity shops. Chocolates can be passed on when the lockdown finishes if you really don't want them. Or, you can send them to me!

It is so difficult to choose gifts for people at the moment, specially if you're not seeing them; be grateful they thought about you, and give the gifts to someone with no family if you dislike them so much.

I'm a bit with OP here, on the basis that cut flowers are very expensive to send and last such a short time, but are probably a fairly easy option for someone with a very busy life. I'm sure the AC are thinking of you, even if they don't have lots of time to spend trying to think what you might like. My DS has quite often sent flowers, and I've dropped a couple of hints that a book might be more appropriate - I have to remember to add things to my wish list with a famous internet bookseller (and seller of so many other things, even if we prefer not to support them...), which makes it easier for him. Flowers are nice for mothers' day, though, and he excelled last year with a potted azalea that was glorious for ages, and is actually flowering again now!

I send flowers to family or friends on a random basis each month because I like to think they bring a smile , especially when they aren’t for any special reason, just to let people know that I’m thinking of them during these strange times. Without fail they have been happily received and have led to conversations with those I haven’t been able to see for a while. If you don’t like flowers or chocolates then surely you should just tell your family that, whilst it’s lovely that they have remembered you on your birthday, maybe in future they would donate the money instead because that’s what you would prefer. At least you wouldn’t sound ungrateful then.

I adore flowers and am absolutely over the moon with them always. I have a huge fear issue with candles though and in the last few years I must have received 19/20 especially at Christmas!! Some people know of this, but seem to forget. I'm not offended they forget, and these have all gone to good homes - charity shops, raffle prizes, my DD or friends, (not the ones who gave me them!!).