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AIBU to think this is an odd thing to say?

(42 Posts)
sazz1 Sun 21-Feb-21 14:55:56

One of my friends rang me earlier to tell me her news. She's met someone online a few weeks ago and they've been texting and phoning each other. They met once for a dog walk in the park (both have dogs) and she says he's really nice, similar age and has a good job. She said she told him her dad cooked her a lovely dinner (she lives with her dad) and his reply was 'I'm not dating your dad' She said 'he's so cheeky' and laughed.
He lives on his own so I would think a better reply would be him asking for an invite after lockdown, or saying that's really nice do you share cooking or something along those lines. It seems an odd thing to say but I can't think why. What do others think? They are both in their 40s

crazyH Sun 21-Feb-21 15:02:22

It was just a joke - nothing ‘odd’ about it. He probably meant to say, ‘I don’t want your Dad to cook for me, I want you to cook for me’

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 21-Feb-21 15:03:46

Maybe she was talking about her Dad a lot without realising?
Maybe he thought that she was about to invite him round to meet the parent?
If she isn’t bothered about it then why worry?

Aveline Sun 21-Feb-21 15:16:08

Spot on Oopsadaisy. She must have been talking too much about her Dad.

DanniRae Sun 21-Feb-21 16:30:44


TrendyNannie6 Sun 21-Feb-21 16:35:07

He probably meant it lightheartedly as in I’m not bothered about your dad, I’m more interested in you!

MissAdventure Sun 21-Feb-21 16:36:58

I think it's a bit abrupt, not cheeky or funny.

I'd be wary of someone who shut down general conversation.

timetogo2016 Sun 21-Feb-21 17:08:57

I agree with MissAdventure.

MissAdventure Sun 21-Feb-21 17:14:34

To me, having a chat about everything under the sun is the best way to find out about what makes someone tick, what their values are, how their mind works (or if it does)

It sounds as if he is loathe to talk about much.

sazz1 Sun 21-Feb-21 17:39:40

Thank you for your answers. Yes that comment did close the conversation about her dad. I haven't said anything to her but I think he could be a bit negative and possessive. Hope I'm wrong as she seems really happy

MissAdventure Sun 21-Feb-21 17:42:25

She will now be a bit wary of mentioning her dad again...

Urmstongran Sun 21-Feb-21 17:51:43

At this stage I’d have been tempted to say ‘who said we’re dating? One meet up. I’d be on high alert so probably super sensitive to a remark like that. I’d be thinking ‘cocky sod’.

M0nica Sun 21-Feb-21 17:59:09

Doesn't strike me as remotely strange. In the fact this man's oneliner strikes me as much more natural than the more stilted response you suggest.

It is the response that lots of people I know would have made as a joky response - and your friend seems to have seen it as a joky response as well.

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 21-Feb-21 18:02:40

Such a lot of assumptions! They have spoken online and on the phone and had a meet up in the park, your friend thinks it was a joke and is happy.
Why is he deemed to be possessive and cocky? The OP wasn’t even there!

MissAdventure Sun 21-Feb-21 18:07:26

Well, we were asked to say what we think, so that's what I did.
If "I'm not dating your dad" is a one liner, I assume he's not a natural comedian.
I would find it quite strange.

BlueBelle Sun 21-Feb-21 18:13:08

I thought it was just a cheeky chappie reply don’t see anything wrong at all and neither does your friend perhaps you took it out of context and put more to it than was meant
Anyway not yours or our business
Seems innocent enough to me personally I think your idea of what he should have said very stilted and a bit old fashioned

sazz1 Sun 21-Feb-21 18:19:42

Yes they are not dating just chatting online and one meet up so I agree with you he sounds quite full of himself to think it's a relationship. But she sounds happy so I'll say nothing and wait and see

Urmstongran Sun 21-Feb-21 18:33:08

Early days I suppose. It takes time to feel comfortable- meeting in person is better than messaging. Himself makes me laugh a lot, even after 50y but I bet that wouldn’t come over well unless interacting in person. Plus his spelling and grammar aren’t the best - he’d have never passed ‘Go’ as an internet date with me & that would’ve been a real shame!

Nansnet Mon 22-Feb-21 02:09:50

Surely it all depends on the context in which it was said, and the tone he used to say it, and the only people who the know the answer to that are two people who were there. So much can be read into things by people who hear them 2nd hand. It's early days, your friend is happy, leave it at that.

NotAGran55 Mon 22-Feb-21 07:42:51

What I find odd is that you are gossiping about a friend on a public forum , giving out exact details of the conversation.

BlueBelle Mon 22-Feb-21 07:43:49

Yep got to agree there notagran

nanna8 Mon 22-Feb-21 07:46:42

I am sure he wouldn’t want to be analysed just by one comment poor so and so.

Iam64 Mon 22-Feb-21 08:36:27

Yes to NotAGran55 ‘s comment at 07.42

Theoddbird Mon 22-Feb-21 12:28:04

Just a joke...nowt strange or odd about it at all. He has a sense of humour...that is good.

cornishpatsy Mon 22-Feb-21 12:35:32

Strange that out of a whole conversation this throw away comment, meaning its irevelant that her dad is cooking has taken on so much importance.

I think a case of over analising.