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AIBU

AIBU to think this is an odd thing to say?

(43 Posts)
sazz1 Sun 21-Feb-21 14:55:56

One of my friends rang me earlier to tell me her news. She's met someone online a few weeks ago and they've been texting and phoning each other. They met once for a dog walk in the park (both have dogs) and she says he's really nice, similar age and has a good job. She said she told him her dad cooked her a lovely dinner (she lives with her dad) and his reply was 'I'm not dating your dad' She said 'he's so cheeky' and laughed.
He lives on his own so I would think a better reply would be him asking for an invite after lockdown, or saying that's really nice do you share cooking or something along those lines. It seems an odd thing to say but I can't think why. What do others think? They are both in their 40s

DaisyL Mon 22-Feb-21 12:39:04

Surely it all depends on his tone. Could be light-hearted or aggressive!

geekesse Mon 22-Feb-21 12:39:38

Many people’s social skills have taken a hit during lockdown, and some people tend to open their mouth before their brain is fully engaged anyway. Clumsy? Possibly. Odd? No, not at all.

Juicylucy Mon 22-Feb-21 12:52:59

Please warn your friend, as I’m talking from experience he is possessive and controlling, his comment means he doesn’t want her talking approvingly about anyone else, as she complimentary mentioned her dads dinner, he wants to commandeer her feelings and thoughts to just himself. I wished someone had warned me that comments like this were red flags it would have saved me from a 16 year relationship that was toxic.

grandtanteJE65 Mon 22-Feb-21 12:56:38

I wonder if the poor man wasn't startled and a bit worried by the fact that a forty-year old woman is living with her father.

I was dating earlier than that and soon learned to beware of men who were living with their mothers!

Teddy123 Mon 22-Feb-21 13:01:32

Your friend is happy. A bit of fun to break the lockdown monotony. I don't think it's any of your business! Even if it continues to a serious relationship, it will remain none of your business. Crikey! Am shaking my head in bewilderment.....

muse Mon 22-Feb-21 13:03:22

I'm with Oopsadaisy on this.

It was a date sazz1. They talked lots before hand and arranged to meet. It's lockdown so a date couldn't have been made for a meal. My daughter has recently done exactly the same. On line meet up, ringing and walk in the park (no dog). She called it a date.

We don't know what arrangements were made at the end of the date.

I'm not saying it is the correct thing to say. The only assumption I'm making is, that the friend could have been talking about her dad a lot. I've heard of a statement like this being said if this did happen.

moggie57 Mon 22-Feb-21 13:20:02

maybe she only has her dad for company .and she talks about him a lot . it was a joke ....he's dating her ,not her dad .....

Jillybird Mon 22-Feb-21 13:25:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

riccib123 Mon 22-Feb-21 13:46:06

I guess without being there we can't really be sure what he meant, but I agree that it could be the first glimpse of a possessive person and if so, I think she needs to be careful. I don't see how it's a funny or cheeky comment, it's a bit rude and dismissive. If she lives with her Dad, the last thing she needs is suddenly feeling like her life is a tug of war game

jaylucy Mon 22-Feb-21 13:52:07

It's not odd, he's not being possessive, your friend was talking a bit too much about her dad and the man just possibly got fed up with it!
I have had it happen to me when on a date - I got carried away talking about work after a bad day and my date rather abruptly told me he wasn't on a works outing with me! He did have a point!

justwokeup Mon 22-Feb-21 13:52:49

Yes, you had to be there but the remark, on a first meeting, would have made me very uncomfortable. She knows nothing about him except things he has told her so the ‘good job’ could be true but might not. I’d be very wary, and wouldn’t meet up again, but no doubt she will and will find out more on future walks.

Joesoap Mon 22-Feb-21 15:52:29

Too much talk about her Dad I think, but I am sure he was joking, might give her something to think about.

FarNorth Mon 22-Feb-21 16:02:33

my date rather abruptly told me he wasn't on a works outing with me! He did have a point!

Abrupt isn't good.
The comment doesn't sound like a joke, from what you've said.

I hope your friend doesn't rush into anything with this man.

Tempest Mon 22-Feb-21 16:02:47

If I were the man in this situation I would run for the hills. A forty year old woman living with her dad, who cooks for her. Her conversation topic, the wonderful meal cooked by daddy.
And to top of it all a friend who shares intimate conversations on a chat line with a group of grannies.

Daisend1 Mon 22-Feb-21 16:33:59

Not what you would call a' bundle of laughs' is he ?grin

Nannan2 Mon 22-Feb-21 19:51:35

I agree with Urmstomgran- id have retorted "we arent 'dating' yet".

123kitty Tue 23-Feb-21 15:42:40

If I were single, or had spent the best part of a year in lockdown, day in day out with one other person, I think I might even be feeling a little envious of my friend.