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AIBU

Do people get pleasure from letting others down?

(68 Posts)
sharon59 Wed 24-Mar-21 10:19:08

AIBU to expect people to do what they say they will do.
Example, I had a couple of items on a selling website and over the weekend, 4 people said they would come and view. Arranged for them to come via the side gate and my DH set the items up on a table on the driveway, I also asked if they would wear a mask, and to let me know if they had changed there mind. Waited all Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning, none of the four turned up. so anoying. And then today our kitchen fitter was supposed to come 'first thing' to fix some snagging points on our kitchen that was fitted 5 weeks ago. Still hasn't shown up, no answer on their mobile. DH was waiting to have a word but has had to log on to a meeting, I have been keeping away from strangers due to shielding but now have to sort out the fitters when they deem to show up.
I know it's touch and go with these selling sites, having sold quite a few things over the years, but do people get some kind of buzz just letting others down? Sorry rant over. Have a good day!

crazyH Wed 24-Mar-21 10:29:42

I’m a stickler for punctuality and keeping my word Unfortunately, most people around me, including my children are not. It bothers me so much.... but I can’t do anything about it. I tell my children off, but it falls on deaf years 😩

henetha Wed 24-Mar-21 10:32:44

Me too. I hate unreliability and it's very prevalent these days.

Redhead56 Wed 24-Mar-21 10:33:55

Free cycle I have always used this site to give possessions new homes it’s a good site. When family have passed away I have given away lovely stuff probably worth good money.(Not used since Covid of course) but people say they will pick up but don’t it’s so annoying. They are getting items for free you would expect them to be gracious and actually turn up. We have been let down numerous times with trades people for different jobs but we just got used to it. Patience is a virtue!

timetogo2016 Wed 24-Mar-21 10:36:59

My dh has it all the time.
He sells items on Ebay/Shpock and a good 50/60% of people either don`t turn up or cancel an item after he`s parcelled it up.
I keep telling him not to parcel anything until you have the money in the bank/Paypal.
So your not alone sharon59.

Pantglas2 Wed 24-Mar-21 10:38:43

I’ve put things on Freecycle and have people demand an exact day time and delivery... not collection!

fiorentina51 Wed 24-Mar-21 10:41:21

Yes I've had that happen too, it really annoys me. On many of these sites you can rate the seller and purchaser as well as report them to the administration. I have reported some. It might save other folk any inconvenience.

EllanVannin Wed 24-Mar-21 10:41:40

I could never let anyone down and to my knowledge, never have over all the years. To do so gives an insight about that person so I'd steer clear----unless of course they'd suddenly died !

BlueBelle Wed 24-Mar-21 10:46:11

I am lucky most people do come for selling/giving stuff but I realise how maddening it is as it has happened once or twice in the past it really makes you wonder Why???
I had a different one last week!! they came for the item went to hand it over and they confirmed the price £10 he then put his hand in his pocket which I could see nothing in and said oh I haven’t got enough money do you do bank transfer I said no as I wasn’t prepared and wasn’t sure if I should or not, never been asked before so I said no and pointed out that there is a cash machine literally 100 yds from my door he said oh right and walked away towards the cash machine I shut the door and went in to find a text saying thank you but the item is too small !!! Was that a scam ? I ve no idea if you can scam a bank transfer can you ?

jaylucy Wed 24-Mar-21 10:49:01

Seems to be a thing that id getting more prevalent over the past few years!
Maybe many of us were brought up to think that it is just polite when making arrangements, if you can't do what you say, to contact someone and let them know!
Lost count of the times that have had people , either friends or relatives say that they will do something and not do it - when I have asked them why they didn't , it's usually "oh I meant to let you know"
As far as your kitchen fitter is concerned, I'd see if they have a Facebook page (most do). Give it another day and if still no show, comment on their page - you'll get more of a response than trying to phone them!

Marydoll Wed 24-Mar-21 10:51:41

I had two firms, who promised to come and give a quote for new decking, not turning up last week and no word since. They won't be getting my business, if they ever bother to contact me.
I too am shielding and I find it quite stressful when workmen have to come.

Kate1949 Wed 24-Mar-21 10:55:20

We've contacted people to do jobs through Trust A Trader who haven't turned up (pre Covid).

Newatthis Wed 24-Mar-21 10:55:37

So annoying! I am not a very punctual person even though I try my best but I am very reliable and trustworthy and I really mind being let down. It is so rude and frustrating.

25Avalon Wed 24-Mar-21 10:59:41

I had it with a cleaner. First couldn’t come because wasn’t well, then it happened again and finally no replies to emails or mobile calls or text. I was quite concerned. Kept the job open for weeks just in case it was genuine but had to give up. I presume this was part of ghosting or cancel culture which unfortunately seems to be happening often these days. All she had to say was sorry I can’t come any more.

Atqui Wed 24-Mar-21 10:59:43

I don’t think they get a buzz from it. Some people are just plain rude.

muse Wed 24-Mar-21 11:06:13

Bluebell. I fairly sure you can get scammed with bank transfers but it's the other way round : An authorised push payment (APP) scam, also known as a bank transfer scam, occurs when you - knowingly or unwittingly - transfer money from your own bank account to one belonging to a scammer.

PayPal is always the best way to pay.

I find getting quotes from tradespeople very hit and miss. Left messages with 10 gardeners at the beginning of the year for quotes. 3 rang me back. The one I finally got has been brilliant. He's coming back to do more - lots more. I call him My man on a mission (Mark).

I hate letting people down and always contact if I can't get to them.

polnan Thu 25-Mar-21 10:36:43

well our local doctors surgery used to post (guess they still do)
a list of the number of appts made and the number of people who don`t turn up!

so what do we have to complain about,
similarly I understand the hospitals also had (still have?) a similar problem

changing times?

LuckyFour Thu 25-Mar-21 10:38:07

I can't bear unreliable people. It's selfish and rude to say you will be somewhere and then just not turn up. If they can let you know they are coming then they can let you know if they are not coming! I and my Dh would never do that and I'm pleased to say my daughters and their families are the same as us. I don't understand any other way.

sazz1 Thu 25-Mar-21 10:42:45

Best way to sell is ask for PayPal payment first. Then leave out for collection. You can refund if they're not happy with it.

Shirlb Thu 25-Mar-21 10:42:50

One of my pet hates 🙄🤨don’t know why people say their do something then don’t!

Gwenisgreat1 Thu 25-Mar-21 10:46:41

I agree with what everyone has said here, especially on Freecycle.

nipsmum Thu 25-Mar-21 10:51:56

I hate when friends let me down, and it is frequently the end of the friendship. My oldest sister was late for everything and I hated it as I am always punctual. I would more often be early rather than 5 minutes late. Unfortunately tradesmen are frequently unreliable both in timekeeping or worse still just not coming at all. They don't care the stress and upset they cause.

Grandmajean Thu 25-Mar-21 10:52:28

Agree. I try never to let anyone down and I always keep my promises. I wouldn't have peace of mind if I didn't keep my word. Always punctual too but I am aware that that can be annoying as "punctual" to me means always early !

TwinLolly Thu 25-Mar-21 10:56:05

I hate time wasters too. Now if I sell, I add a comment "No time wasters please".

You can also say that "if you come by xyz time, it is yours, if you don't ~ it will go to the next person who wants it".

In France I'm getting frustrated with trades people who don't respond to requests for quotes. I need a garage to be built. 4 quote requests sent, no replies. A girl was advertising 2 second hand ceiling fans for sale on Facebook. She is at one end of the country and I'm at the other so I said I wanted the fans, could she post them. No response. Ditto with husband. What is wrong with people? An acknowledgement of a message is just so simple. I find it rude when I get "blanked".

SusieFlo Thu 25-Mar-21 10:58:49

I agree with all that’s been said. Also think that so many people are inefficient and have no pride in their job. I may have to have a separate rant about that some time!