Do people get pleasure from letting others down?

It’s just a sign of the times I’m afraid. If you were raised to be a principled human like my husband & I were, you wouldn’t dream of behaving in this manner but many folk today think nothing of letting people down. It doesn’t even register on their radar that someone may have actually planned things in order to accommodate their visit to inspect something. I just get so angry at people who constantly let me down, I have erased a few out of my life because I only got a reaction when there was something in it for them. I agree about not packaging anything up until the money is in your account too. We have had so many time wasters when our children used to sell on online auction sites& nobody can force them to pay.

When it comes to buying and selling on fb I can’t believe that they ‘just don’t realise’ nearly every second post consists of someone moaning about ‘no shows’
It’s a good job none of us live in Ireland I was told this tale ring a tradesman was ring up they are charming and tell you yes they can do the job and will be round Wednesday, Wednesday comes and go and no sign, you ring them up again, they answer and you tell them they never showed up on Wednesday the answer ‘ahh but I never said which Wednesday’

I agree with all this. It's especially annoying with Freegle, as you've perhaps refused one person because you've promised the item to someone else and the first one doesn't turn up. Also, I feel uneasy that I've given my address to this person who doesn't turn up.

I placed a few very nice nearly new baby stuff on Freecycle (bought for my visiting grandchildren). People rang etc but when they turned up they were clearly dealers and were going to sell them on - not genuine people who needed them. Disappointing.

Recently I wanted to give away two 2 seater settees as I was waiting for my new sofa bed from D **. I made it quite clear in the advert they had to be collected. Lots of interest but people still asked if I could deliver. One guy, arranged to turn up but never did, so I gave up. A couple of weeks later I had another enquiry and she was as good as her word. It was so lovely to find someone who didn’t mess me about. It’s just so thoughtless. The least people could do is to let you know if they’ve changed their minds.

I have little patience with people who are always late and think nothing of it. DH is a very poor timekeeper and I’ve taken to adding on half an hour to anytime he gives me. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve sat round waiting for him but now, I either go without him or get on with something else. It’s so inconsiderate. Still apart from that he’s a lovely kind man. I’ve just accepted with him that this is how it is.

I do think it’s very rude and thoughtless to make arrangements to meet (for coffee etc.) and be late without good reason. It only takes a minute to send a message.

I think our generation is reliable but the youngsters not so much. They think it’s no big deal to be late or to change arrangements at the last minute. Hopefully I have have never let anyone down ever.

It happens with job interviews too! they make a an appointment for an interview and fail to show or even call. Then the next day they call to say they were delayed could they come now. Normally my OH says no. Not reliable.
Sometimes it is because they have to show they are looking for work to get their unemployment benefit but a phone call saying they won't be coming is always appreciated.

I absolutely hate it when people don't do what they say! Infuriating!!
If I arrange something and for any reason I can't stick to it I always contact the person asap, it's only good manners to do so!!!

afraid to say I think good manners are a thing of the past now! I often give stuff away on facebay, I get dozens of 'Is this still available?' message, say yes when would you like to collect? never hear again? or they say , yes come whenever, and never show up, I am deaf and have to sit and look out window waiting for them so I can waste a whole day waiting around for people. What also makes me laugh at the audacity of some is when something of value is being given away for FREE and they also expect you to deliver to their door, for free also of course! More often than not, you then see the free items up for sale so they can make a quick buck from your generosity!

I've never advertised anything on line, and I'll certainly stick with donating to the charity shop now! I'm not sure I agree with 'it's all the younger generation' opinion, there seem to be both sorts in all ages. I know some of your experiences will relate to women but, as far as men are concerned, OH (as I know nothing much about how men's minds work) told me that many men will do/not do/say anything to avoid getting told off or embarrassed. This seemed to be borne out when our builder, who became a friend after renovating our house for several months, made appointments he didn't keep and afterwards just blanked us when we said we wanted more work doing. When OH saw him one day he apologised and said that he was too embarrassed to come to see us as the work was more complicated than he was comfortable with. And he couldn't have just have sent us a text to that effect?

if you are giving away anything for free, why not just leave it outside with a note, free please take.
that gets rid of most anything round here.
if it hasn't gone by next day maybe drag it back in and re-think.

I think that when people ask if you can deliver it is often because they don't have a car. If the item is relatively low value it might not be worth paying for a taxi to pick it up, and if the donor passes the address of the recipient it might not be too far out of their way to drop it off. I don't think it is rude for people to ask, so long as they are polite if you refuse.

Have had to have a lot of building work done recently and was surprised how many people didn’t turn up for quotes/ work etc. Can only conclude that despite Covid work is so plentiful that they can pick and choose

I put several items on Olio (free collection site for food or other goods) loads of people asked where i was or if they were still available but never carried through. Someone asked if an item i had on Facebook was still available, I replied within 10 mins - still waiting for a response days later. It is so annoying as the poster says.

Absolutely agree with you. I have been trying to replace my 20 year old gas fire since November, firstly the specific I needed shop was closed because of lock down, they finally went online 3 weeks ago so I now have the fire, I arranged for it to be fitted and took annual leave to facilitate this. Yesterday plumber texted me, "can't do your dates I'm stuck on another job, it's going to be May" I was understandably not very happy.... Now had to find another fitter who I'm fairly confident has substantially inflated his quote but I'm so fed up I'm having to pay it anyway because I have already booked the AL ?

I've advertised items for sale, had someone ask if item is still available, said yes, then never heard from them again??? Weirdos with too much time on their hands lol

I always think no shows are trying to assert some sort of control over you, they promise to be there, then don't show while you sit there waiting. I think they do get pleasure from your world revolving around their whims, even if it's only for a few hours. Its a sort of power trip for them.

I had a friend who would take great delight in keeping you waiting for them, especially if you had to contact them to see where they were. That friendship was over quickly!

I use freecycle a lot and usually put that no second chances will be given, if you don't show up, I'll move on to the next enquiry. I've had a few who have said they can't collect for a couple of days and that's OK, I've held the item and they've shown up when arranged.

If I'm collecting something and running late (it happens,) I'll endeavour to let them know. It's only fair.

I think it’s about basic respect for others. Courtesy costs nothing.