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AIBU

Do hairdressers know best?

(88 Posts)
Quizzer Thu 25-Mar-21 10:17:35

AIBU to expect a hairdresser to cut my hair as I want it rather than as she decides is best. I’ve had numerous hairdressers who ignore my instructions and cut it the way that they want to.
I have had this fine, flyaway hair for a very long time and know exactly what it will and will not do.
Once I found a really good hairdresser who cut my hair just right until I asked for a slight change of style. I came out exactly the same as before!
Maybe I just don’t speak the same language.

Witzend Sun 18-Apr-21 10:06:56

Sometimes they do!
I used to have long hair that was both very fine, and very thick (as in loads of it.)
Hairdressers were a nightmare since however much I asked them not to, they would rub it so much when washing that it’d go into a million knots and I’d then have to de-tangle it myself, or else have them painfully tearing it out by the roots.

But just once, near MiL’s house, I went to a salon where the male owner took one look - even from several feet away - and said to the shampoo girl, ‘Don’t rub that hair! It’ll go into a million knots.’
I was so grateful to him.

ImStillGood Mon 05-Apr-21 11:52:17

No way. Of course, they have experience and they most likely see what type of haircut would look best on a particular type of hair, but mostly their view doesn't coincide with their clients'.

Esspee Mon 05-Apr-21 07:40:18

I gave up long ago. Now I don’t even suggest anything. He is very good at what he does, to his credit.

diygran Sun 04-Apr-21 21:33:38

Haven't visited hairdresser for years.
My all one length bob has been easy to cut in lockdown, but this last week I managed to cut it too short at the back. Never mind Its cold now so will wear a hat!
I cut other half's hair but he's looking forward to getting to barber after his 2nd vaccine.

Spice101 Sun 04-Apr-21 02:42:24

Generally speaking I do think hairdressers know best. In my experience a good hairdresser will look at how the hair grows and cut it in the way that best suits the natural growth. Clients may know what they want but that is not necessarily what is best.

Blinko Fri 02-Apr-21 18:07:22

My hairdresser asks what I'd like then does my hair how her mother has it... confused

nipsmum Sun 28-Mar-21 11:08:41

My current hair dresser is the best one at cutting hair, anyone's hair, that I've ever had. He does my daughters band her 3 girls hair exactly as they want it done. So no, not all do as they like.

Shropshirelass Sat 27-Mar-21 09:19:01

After the first lockdown we changed our hairdresser from a large group controlled salon (where the cut depended on the mood of the stylist) to a well established local salon. Best move ever, the owner takes a pride in what she does and cuts exactly how she is asked, making recommendations if needed but always how I want it. Brilliant and supporting local people. Win, Win!

CanadianGran Sat 27-Mar-21 05:41:29

My hairdresser is very good, and always asks what I would like done. On occasion I have brought in a photo as inspiration and she will let me know how closely it can be achieved with my hair. She keeps a file for each client so can refer back for colour, etc. In 2020 I grew out to my natural grey, and we did manage to get in a couple of cuts in the summer when our lockdown eased. She also put in some ashy blond streaks to make the transition less noticeable. I have had quite a few compliments since, and I always pass them along to her.

Good luck Quizzer, hope you find the right hairdresser.

MumsyDeer Sat 27-Mar-21 03:17:35

Frankly I do not go near hairdressers - my last experience over four years ago left me severely traumatised and resulted in me weeping unannounced on the doorstep of the most amazing wig fitter in Sandhurst. Having had thick curly hair nearly all my life, I started to lose my hair in handfuls ten years ago during my late husband’s illness followed by my own ill health and my hair has never really fully recovered - finding sympathetic experienced hairdressers was a nightmare - I wore a wig for eighteen months until a very hot day when I marched into a barbers, whipped off the wig and begged them to cut my own uncoloured hair - I will never go back to a salon again when a) I get a quick, exceptional cut which (thankfully during lockdown) keeps its shape whilst growing out and b) it’s unbelievably cheaper when compared to the money I used to spend on a colour, cut & blow dry! I appreciate that such drastic measures are not everyone’s cup of tea but as a woman with health issues it has been a truly liberating experience and brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “wash & go” lol

Mrst1405 Fri 26-Mar-21 21:08:13

I have a lot of fine hair with a little curl as it gets longer. I've had it every colour under the sun but I've grown it out over the last couple of years. To my surprise its quite a nice brownish colour with just a bit if white at the sides. In normal times I have it cut on cruise ships. The hairdressers are usually excellent, up to date and very reasonable to talk to....although not reasonable in price! A local barmaid friend trims it in between and keeps it tidy. In normal times I swim most days which can ruin the condition but I'm sticking with it a bit longer and tying it up if necessary.
I moved to Northern Spain nearly 20 years ago and that was a culture shock. They expected me to 'know my number' for the colour. Also you don't get a specific hairdresser, just whoever free when you go in. Its usual to book the day before not weeks in advance.

Janiepops Fri 26-Mar-21 20:39:22

Jaxie, I want to jump in my car and drive straight to Axminster, and come with you to your appt.
I always ask for the price when I book, otherwise, you can get a nasty shock.
Next, go on Pinterest, and type in exactly what you want, and hey presto, masses of ideas! Take them to hairdressers and say can they literally give you that.
Bear in mind, you won’t look like the model! I blank out the face when I do it, cos it’s the road to disappointment if you think you’re going to look like the model!!
You can buy little hair pieces on combs these days too, to bulk up your hair. Watch u-tube, ‘ how to use hair prices, you’ll get loads of ideas. I think people are disappointed mainly because they don’t hide the models face when searching, because realistically, most people don’t look like the stunning 50, 60,70 yr old mature models ?‍♀️ Good luck ?????

lilydily9 Fri 26-Mar-21 19:39:49

I've always found local hairdressers listen to me. The occasions I've visited more upmarket salons, they have ignored me completely, on one occasion being quite rude (Vidal Sassoon) when I was told the stylist couldn't cut it the way I wanted because it would not represent him or the salon! I should have left but put myself in his hands. When he'd finished, I almost cried when I viewed myself in the mirror.

Jaxie Fri 26-Mar-21 18:34:12

My head goes to a point and I have very fine hair that, owing to an immunosuppressive drug I have to take, has grown disturbingly thin. I had a very bad experience a few months ago when a stylist in Axminster ignored me for over 30 minutes, I was feeling very ill after a major operation and informed her of this but she left me freezing cold with a dye applied while she dealt with another client who had long thick hair. She then cut my hair in less than 10 minutes and made it look like a frumpy tea cosy, charging me £84 for the privilege. I have decided to go grey and currently I look atrocious. I’ve made an appointment at another hairdresser’s but am very nervous. I’m 77 but don’t see myself as a frump and am not confident I shan’t be charged a fortune. I know my new stylist hasn’t much to work with but I’d like to be taken seriously, and not exploited. Any advice for me?

Bijou Fri 26-Mar-21 17:18:37

I had a good hair dresser until we moved to another town where I had a dreadful hair cut. I have managed to do my own for the last fifty years. I was shocked when I learned how much money some women spend nowadays on their hair.

Lulu16 Fri 26-Mar-21 17:04:53

I have a wonderful hairdresser and I go back to her even although I left the town, it is about 10 miles away now.
She knows my style and understands my thick but very fine hair, that suffers from being in a swimming pool when not in lockdown.
I've come to the conclusion that the best hairdressers are good at techniques, ie cutting and colouring, but they have a natural flair also. If they care about their own hair and appearance, chances they will care about yours too.....

CBBL Fri 26-Mar-21 16:28:12

I have very fine hair and most hairdressers just don't seem able to deal with it effectively! Most of them cut it too short, and will, if I don't stop them quickly enough, blow it dry, so that it's completely straight (it does have some curl), and it then looks virtually non-existent! Now 73, I've had this problem my whole life, and as another poster said earlier, if you do find a hairdresser who does as you ask, for some reason, they move on and you have to start again!

Kidzkan Fri 26-Mar-21 15:37:30

I love my hairdresser and I would like to write a book about the things we discuss. I have been going to her for years, but I have decided I need to try someone new - for several reasons really.

Firstly, we always have the same opening discussion. ' How much do you want off?' 'Well how fast does hair grow and when did I last come?'

Secondly, she seems to use different implements each time - scissors, razor blade, and then different methods - twirling the hair before cutting, or snipping across. I've asked about it, but never got a satisfactory answer.

Then she cuts it slightly differently every time. Is it unrealistic to expect her to remember me?

I have put up with these vagaries because she always does such a good job, but the final straw came when I found she had altered my colours without telling me. I used to have natural blonde hair and I have highlights and lowlights 3 times a year, but I noticed I was becoming more and more golden. We had a little chat about using cooler colours (more natural as you age I said), she didn't really understand that. I also found out she was lightening the lowlights because I have white patches at the front which show more quickly with a darker colour. I said again, that is natural and I don't mind.

Last time, she turned me out golden blonde again, and I realised that in her mind, that is what a 70 year old wants, but I don't want.

What a shame, I will miss our chats, we laughed a lot. So will I find a hairdresser who listens?

sazz1 Fri 26-Mar-21 15:25:47

Worst hairdresser I had was when I asked for a wet cut, no conditioner no blow dry no spray.
Cut was fine then she put on conditioner, blow dry lotion and proceeded to blow dry it. When I objected she said it's the same price and carried on hair spray too.
Had to wash my hair and take an allergy tablet to stop it itching as I'm ok with shampoos but not conditioner or styling lotions or hair sprays. They closed down a few weeks later, no wonder they were empty when I walked in.

leeds22 Fri 26-Mar-21 14:47:42

Haven't got an appointment til 6 May, so any hairdresser would be good right now.

Summerstorm Fri 26-Mar-21 14:41:52

I’ve gone to the same hairdresser for a very long time. I decided to change the colour and was speaking to a friend (also a hairdresser) about it and she suggested a couple of products and colours that she thought would be perfect. I duly told my hairdresser what I thought I wanted and she refused point blank to do it. We came to a compromise that I was very happy with. Her reasoning was that it might be my hair but it was her reputation on the line

Lettice Fri 26-Mar-21 14:30:46

My hair is just about growing to cover my scalp now after my disastrous DIY "all-off", and I am loving it. My fine wispy longer hair is all gone and what is growing back is in excellent condition. IF I go back to a hairdresser, I will want to continue this ultra short style, something she has resisted strongly in the past when I broached a change, so, No, hairdressers do not always know best.

kjmpde Fri 26-Mar-21 14:16:14

I know how you feel - I have asked hairdressers to cut my hair quite short but they have refused incase other customers think she cuts other people's hair too short ! I have no regular hairdresser due to the refusals but when hairdressing college classes re-open (hopefully later this year) then I will return as there is no obstructions to the customer's requests.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 26-Mar-21 13:34:55

I think that hairdressers can get a bit stale doing the same old styles and out of the habit of being more creative. Mine mostly gets it almost right but not 100%.
Sometimes I'll say that I'd like to try something new and hope that she takes it on board. I always take a photo but it doesn't turn out exactly the same.
Although I've warned her I don't know what she'll say when she sees it next time as I've almost given myself a crew-cut.

Nanananana1 Fri 26-Mar-21 13:34:44

I have naturally wavy, curly at the back hair. As I age it is now finer and fly away at the sides, heavier at the back. This I know about my hair and I agree most professionally trained hairdressers would be able to spot all of this
BUT
What they don't seem to grasp is the 'look' I am after. How I want to feel. Who I am. These things I am an expert on, but will they listen? Of course not. I come out looking like their Mum and every other over-60's customer they have

I am still a tomboy (at 67), I don't like looking 'Mumsy', I was at art school and then a designer, I do not want to look weird or try to look like a teenager. Is this so impossible to achieve?

Sadly being 'petite' and having wavy hair means people think I want to look like a little doll Aaaaaaargh!

After reading some of the DIY stories on here I am tempted to give it a go myself!