AIBU to think this is Cyber Stalking?

It is a bit creepy. Keep a diary of every time this happens because if you do need to report them to the police they will want more evidence. It may be work asking at your local police station for advice , they could note your concerns on file incase anything further happens. It sounds a bit like they are just lonely nosy people . As mentioned already I would start to wave &!give a big happy smile in their direction every time you notice the curtains twitching . They may think you are unaware of their behaviour & a wave might make them think twice about doing it . The wife may not know the husband is upstairs doing the same but if you look up at the upstairs window & wave to him she will soon realise what he’s up to too

Not cyber stalking but very odd behaviour - if it were me I'd let them know that I know they are watching me - A big cheesy grin and wave at them both - you might find it stops! Good planting or a higher fence might also give you more privacy. Their lives must be very unpleasant if all they do is spy on others - don't let them affect your enjoyment of life!

I can appreciate that this is unpleasant for you but from your post it sounds like this has been happening for years and nothing has come from it so I would be inclined to ignore it. It doesn't sound like their intentions are malevolent, just odd.

LinkedIn is open for people to view but make sure any other profiles are locked down to friends only so that your privacy is intact. Maybe they are curious about you but are too shy/odd to ask more.

I don't know whether there are neighbours the other side of the odd ones but you might find that they are experiencing similar observation.

I would wave every time you see them. If they are elder and been stuck in the house they may just be lonely. But if you wave every time you see them you have acknowledged that you know they are there and that you are not going to be annoyed with. Maybe they will speak to you eventually!! Good luck

Just wave whenever you think they’re looking. Most possibly they’re bored. A friendly wave would help you be in control and let them know yo see them.
As for LinkedIn, it’s there for folk to see.
Overall I’m thinking perhaps you need to just wave and if you don’t want folk to look at your profile just take it down.
Your neighbours seem lonely and forgive me but so do you.

I wouldn't do anything to acknowledge their existence.
How about a couple of garden umbrellas strategically placed so they cant see you.

I've had two close friends, one of them a neighbour, who suffered like this and worse. It became clear that perpetrators had serious mental health issues and that nothing would change their behaviour. My neighbour has put up with it for deacades. My other friend had the opportunity to move away. Other than these two options I've no answers. I akways think that wherever you move to, you could run into the same sort of issues so think carefully before you move house of you like your present home.

I'd wave at them

I would agree with the ‘smile and wave” advice only I’d make it really ostentatious. I’d wave my arms wildly and approach as close as possible, beckoning them to open the window. I’d then call out very loudly “do you need some help- I saw you were watching me, are you ok? Shall i come round?” If you did that every time I’m sure they’d soon stop. I spend hours in my garden and I’d find it very intrusive to be watched; the only being allowed to do that is my robin who greets me whenever I step outside and then follows me around ?

Amazon sells a very inexpensive 3 sided pop up gazebo, which you can easily move around the garden and completely block their view. As a word of warning, a friend of mine had a similar problem and decided to "Out" them by detailing their behaviour and names etc on Facebook. They reported her to the police and SHE was prosecuted for libel and now unfortunately has a criminal record. You have my total sympathy as I have problems with a neighbour too and have even caught him trying to look through my kitchen venetian blind with his face pressed to the outer glass of my window. I accidently on purpose emptied a mop bucket full of dirty water over him........

I had a neighbour who used to watch everything I did. I tried to ignore it, but then decided that I would wave to them every time I went into the garden, or got in my car, etc. I THINK it stopped the ‘spying’ but I did wonder if I was still being watched, even though I couldn’t see them.

I think you should speak to the Police to ask their advice.

If you put information on social media do not be surprised when people look at it!

seastar

Just want to run this past you all in case I'm being over sensitive.

The man next door has always been a bit creepy. He watches me when I'm in the garden weeding from behind a curtain in his upstairs window. He'll do this all the time I'm in the garden and it makes me feel uneasy. His wife watches me from behind the front room curtains. They are intensely private and they hate it when someone knows what they are doing. I can't confront them as they have become extremely aggressive in the past and they don't talk to anyone. If they see me they hide until I have gone. My husband died about 2 years ago and the lady next door gave me a big hug but now it has gone back to normal.

I received a message from Linkedin which said that my profile had been looked at. Usually it is people I don't know but yesterday I discovered that it was the bloke next door. I've deleted my profile now. I feel invaded especially as the man is very creepy and watches what I am doing. He has always done this and his wife has always watched from the front. I find it creepy. Am I being over sensitive?

Have you ever wondered that the wife might be the subject of abuse and finds it hard to communicate?
The linkedin enquiry might be her not him!.
I think deleting your account is going too far, as I imagine that you can set your exposure to "friends only", which would mean he cannot "snoop"

I'm curious about how you know it was the man from next door who has looked at your profile on Linkedin?
I get notifications but it doesn't tell me who....as others have said it is a public networking forum.
They do sound very strange and I can understand how uncomfortable it makes you feel...in fact I'd suggest it's almost verging on harassment / stalking! "Whilst there is no strict legal definition of 'stalking', section 2A (3) of the PHA 1997 sets out examples of acts or omissions which, in particular circumstances, are ones associated with stalking. For example, following a person, watching or spying on them or forcing contact with the victim through any means, including social media.

The effect of such behaviour is to curtail a victim's freedom, leaving them feeling that they constantly have to be careful. In many cases, the conduct might appear innocent ( if it were to be taken in isolation), but when carried out repeatedly so as to amount to a course of conduct, it may then cause significant alarm, harassment or distress to the victim."

I'm thinking of the continual watching here....I'd start keeping notes and it may help you if you spoke with someone. There is a helpline who you can chat with about stalking etc....just running it through may give a different perspective or give you some coping strategies tel:08088020300
Nobody should feel "invaded".

Gosh, I just thought that maybe lockdowns have made this couple more isolated or lonely. When people have little to keep them occupied, watching local life may be their only interest?
Looking at people’s online profiles/social media is perfectly normal. That’s what it’s there for. I defy anyone to say they’ve never looked at another person’s profile out of vague curiosity!
If these people are simply looking out of their windows, are they really threatening? Or even creepy?

Ok, here's the Plan. Yu see a curtain twitch... and so you stop what you are doing, and stand there looking in the direction of the said curtain, arms akimbo. Then, you turn s-l-o-w-l-y in the direction of the other curtain, whether or not it has moved, and take the same stance. They creep you out, and you return the favour, for free. If they open the window to yell at you, you just ask sweetly, "... and how did you know I was here?"

That would seriously bug me. It is a bit creepy but hard to know what to do. You could try brazening it out and waving madly at them every time you see them peeking. May freak them out enough that they rein back on their weird behaviour?!

It is most unnerving for you but as many have said, relax, it isn't you, it's them

Some people are very territorial and have to play vigilante around their property in order to feel safe. In the past they were called (and maybe are now?) 'curtain twitchers'

Surely this is an anxiety problem (for them)

Try to think of them as security guards for the neighbourhood!

A cheery wave, if you can muster it, is a good way to start. Then perhaps take a 'rest' on a chair facing their windows as you 'admire' your guttering!

I can imagine that you're already feeling quite uncomfortable, However, I would definitely not only wave at them, but also pop round to say hello (don't go inside even if rules allow it by then) under the pretext of them perhaps feeling a bit fed up being isolated due to the virus etc. You could even say you've noticed them looking out of their windows and thought a chat might cheer them up. This is how I feel you might deflect their behaviour. It's a bit like if you smile at a bully, they're likely to back off and not waste their time. But.... if it made no difference within a couple of weeks, I would be speaking with the police, because I feel this in not appropriate behaviour. Good luck!

They may be looking out of their windows for many hours a day and look at you when in the garden as it is something new to look at. There are many people, some on here, that have little to do and like to watch the comings and goings of their neighbours. In normal times people-watching is done from an outdoor seating area.

Linkedin is not private or secret, it is for others to see. I have looked at my neighbours' social media out of interest or just call it nosiness.

I had something similar about 30 years ago. Whenever I was in the garden one of them would be watching me from an upstairs window. I just ignored it tbh, I assumed they were lonely and bored. They hardly ever went out except the weekly shop etc and he was quite ill. Later on he became much more unwell and they'd call on me if he had a fall etc. and when he was hospitalised I ran her to and from the hospital until he passed. So I think I handled it right, I could have had a go but what would be the point? She later moved away to live with her eldest son because she felt too lonely on her own. So I would just wave and acknowledge them and see what happens.

I've had three different neighbours who irrationality took issue with trivial things. In these cases, I deliberately went out of my way to be friendly and polite and things were smoothed over. I don't think your neighbours are in the same category. I don't think I'd wave at them or ask if they want anything/need help. If you know other neighbours well, ask whether they've had similar issues.
It's certainly rather odd but not antisocial behaviour or cyber stalking.
I would keep a record of any incidents and tell a friend or neighbour about it in case it escalates or they start accusing you of something.
Unless it turns into something much worse, there's nothing the council or police can do either. I hope you can manage to ignore it or move house if that's an option.

seastar - put a note through your neighbours' front door saying that you're aware they are watching you every time you go into the garden and you find this uncomfortable so you will be installing a camera at the bottom of your garden that will enable you to check whether you are being watched. There's nothing wrong with that. If they appear as you say each time you go out you can take that footage to the police and ask the local bobby to visit to explain that this is not only not normal behaviour but it is making you feel vulnerable. As far as your linked-in profile goes, you put that out there to attract interest so there's nothing you can do about that. It's important that you accept your fear of your neighbour's potential aggressiveness as no excuse for not tackling the odd behaviour. By ignoring it you're enabling its continuation.

I would put a row of conifers or evergreen trees up which blocks his view and don't engage with him.

I would find it creepy if the man did not have a wife.

As he does and she apparently stares at you too, I consider them nosey and rude, rather than creepy.

However, they are entitled to stand looking out of their windows, so there is not very much you can do about it.

My paternal great-grandma would have put her tongue out at them. Perhaps you should consider it, or holding up a notice with
Mind your own business, nosey parker
written in block capitals on it.

You are entitled to privacy in your own house and garden and to pointing out that you find them rude.