Facebook and ex issue- anyone else had this?

Harmonypuss I think your experience has confirmed for me that there is no point in pursuing this, strange as I find it.
My friend will de-friend my ex if I ask her, maybe there was something in me that has remained a little curious (I can still find his profile myself and see my photos there, like it is a completely different woman!) she has only stayed friends because I asked her- she doesn't use Facebook much.
Maybe I've been looking for closure for the past few years but it didn't come. Time to stop giving it headspace.

I would tell your friend not to tell you about what your ex is or isn't doing, it's just opening up old wounds for you . I wouldn't like having my face rubbed in it either . Leave it where it belongs, in the past . After a while he might decide to get rid of them anyway . But if not , you don't need to know about it .

I had exactly the same problem as the OP.
My ex-husband and I divorced 23yrs ago, he was never interested in anything like fb or friends reunited so I never realised I would have anything to worry about until about 9yrs ago when my son was contacted by a cousin who'd said my ex wanted to make contact with him and passed on the fact that he was now on fb.
My son wasn't keen on talking to his father but looked at his fb page all the same and saw that he had added a number of photos to it, including some of our wedding pictures!
A bit of back story.... several years earlier my ex had sent me a letter enclosing all copies of any photos he had of me and/or our son, saying he'd rather not have them as a reminder because my son had said he wanted nothing to do with him (he'd had precious little input over the years anyway).
He came straight to me, angry that his father would blatantly put pics of ME on his page especially as we'd had no contact for years.
My son spoke to his cousin and eventually got in touch with his father and told him in no uncertain terms that he did not have our permission (his or mine) to post these pictures and that he must remove them.
He refused point blank to take them down.
I eventually went to fb whilst my son spoke to his cousins, aunts and uncles, all in an attempt to get these pictures removed. Even his family couldn't understand why he'd want pictures of me on his page but no amount of persuasion would make him take them down.
My efforts with fb fell on deaf ears too, they said that these pictures were 'a part of his life and he has the right to display them if he wants to'. I argued that it was also my right NOT to have them displayed without my permission, not least the fact that they'd been taken in 1995, we'd divorced in 1998 and the ex hadn't even created his fb page until 2012, so why did he feel the need to put them up anyway?
Long story short, no matter what we did, we couldn't get them removed. Fb did say that if I felt 'that' strongly about it I could take the ex to court to get them removed.... my son and I have agreed that he's not worth the time, cost or effort, so we've blocked his fb page so that we don't have to see my pics, my son totally blanks his father if he sees him in the street and refused to talk about him if he speaks to his cousins. Totally blank him out, prove he means nothing to us, that's what we've found to be the best course of action.

Nanette1955

Maybe the memories are precious to him! The fact that you parted with some acrimony doesn’t changed the fact that you shared some wonderful times! I can’t envisage a time I would consider removing my partner from my Facebook memories, but then I wouldn’t unfriend him or his family unless he requested it. Friends friendships shouldn’t be decided on a split from ones partner, as those friends have the right to make their own decisions. Didn’t you make memorable friendships jointly, or with a any of his family that you now greatly miss?

No, I don't believe he gives me a moment's thought. I have lots of of photos of him when sharing good times but not on Facebook.
We had no joint friends (he never had any friends of his own, only those he met though me) ,and his family were the main reason we split, so I'm glad there are no longer in my life.

Maybe the memories are precious to him! The fact that you parted with some acrimony doesn’t changed the fact that you shared some wonderful times! I can’t envisage a time I would consider removing my partner from my Facebook memories, but then I wouldn’t unfriend him or his family unless he requested it. Friends friendships shouldn’t be decided on a split from ones partner, as those friends have the right to make their own decisions. Didn’t you make memorable friendships jointly, or with a any of his family that you now greatly miss?

Simple creatures most of them. ?

Yet another good reason to leave Facebook! (Imho).

Do you actually even know if he is using Facebook at the moment? They may still be there because he hasn't looked at it in years. I forgot my login for facebook and haven't been on there for over ten years, but there are still photos on there (all travel photos though).

And Madwoman1 is right - any photos put on the internet (wherever they are) no longer belong to you. They can be taken and used by anyone on any site, although I think they actually now belong to the site they are posted to. One of the reasons people are dissuaded from putting up pictures of young children.

I can understand why you are irritated, but I think many of us may flatter ourselves at how interested other people are in our photographs. I suspended my fb account some time ago now, but when it was active I never spent time going through friends’ albums. I would just note the ones that popped up in my wall.

Haha Treetops05, hope you don't mind it made me laugh! People are shallow.
Polarbear2 nailed it. He never had much going on in his head and I certainly don't want him in mine!
Thanks all.

If you rely on Facebook you'll get nowhere I'm afraid. I have someone who uses a picture of my home as her profile picture and accepts compliments on how lovely 'her' house is! Facebook will do absolutely nothing, and she refuses too. Good luck x

keepingquiet - you're wasting your time and energy worrying about this. You can't control what other people do and you can't obliterate the past. Focus on the here and now, and what you want to do with your life going forward, and just as a piece of advice, be careful what you yourself post on fb because at some point in the future you might be unhappy about that. Sure you may be able to take down, but you can't make others do that. I have a friend who's asked me several times to defriend her now ex-husband because it 'upsets' her to think I can see into his new life without her and that he can see into mine that might have clues about her - really?? 'Getting a grip' is a phrase that comes to mind here and I have used it with her.

If your ex had photos of you kept in a memory box, it wouldn't particularly worry you, would it? Think of it as being a little bit like that. Unless you are being displayed in an abusive way, Facebook are unlikely to act.

I dont think its worth bothering about and I wouldnt contact him. Lots of people have photos from their past on there, it doesnt mean anything, probably doesnt know how to remove them, i wouldnt read too much into it.

Perhaps he doesn't want to erase you from his life history and memories. Why should he?

i divorced my ex 13 years ago and i never unfriended him from facebook he still sometimes makes comments on anything i post so he must still look at my page i just delete his comments it doesnt bother me i also know he still has a few photos of us and me on his page in his photos again doesnt worry me

Why are you that bothered, you are not with him anymore, he can have whatever he wants to have on his page can’t he the same as you can, I seriously wouldn’t worry about it, I wouldn’t be contacting him either, it’s over for a reason

It's none of your business now, what he has on his Facebook page, just as it is none of your business if he still has physical photos of you in an album in his house.
As long as there are no derogatory comments about you attached to the photos on his page, just forget about it. Silly of your "friend " to tell you they were still there, if she knows how you feel about your ex.
Very telling tales out of school . Quite frankly, I wonder if this person is the friend you think they are !

Your relationship did happen and you can't rewrite history. You may not want to have photos of him but maybe he likes to have pictures of you to remember your time together. As someone above said, if he had actual photos you wouldn't be able to insist he threw them away. Life is too short and this is really not worth worrying about.

If he took and posted them you can't do anything but if they are yours then go to privacy settings and change them all to private - it takes a while but worth it. Then they would probably disappear on his page. You can make a list of trusted friends to see photos but that is more complicated and unless you are good at technology maybe not worth it. You can report them by clicking on ... at right side of post but unless they are obscene then they probably do anything.

Definitely not worth contacting him over - unless you really want an excuse to open up communication again

Yep! Let it go. Life's too short & lockdown is easing. Get busy & put it away at the back of your mind. Move on.

He probably can’t be bothered. He’s a bloke. Men don’t think like us. He might not even know how to remove them. Let it go.

I have too much time on my hands lol! I suppose I should be flattered, although he made it clear he no longer wanted me in his life and made no attempt to contact me afterwards. Maybe he's constructed a fantasy life where nothing is real, including those photos!
I should just let this one go.

Once something is posted on Facebook either by you or someone else it no longer belongs to that person as such. Once on the internet always on the internet.
Please don't let this upset you.
Facebook can be a nightmare and be very upsetting. If it was me I would rise above it, hold my head up, and think well I'm well shut of him but he obviously hasn't got over me.