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AIBU

AIBU - Friend borrowing car

(229 Posts)
PinkCosmos Wed 21-Apr-21 16:25:32

At present we have a 'spare' car. We are friendly with a couple who had two cars but chose to get rid of one of them. This was OK until the H started working shifts and weekends.

Since then the wife has been asking to borrow our spare car on a regular basis - to go shopping, to go to the doctors etc.

She always asks my husband if she can borrow it as he is soft and never says no

I probably would also be too soft to say no if she asked me.

However, I am finding it a bit annoying that we are, in effect, providing her with a free car whilst we pay road tax and insurance.

Her husband is adamant that they are not getting another car.

I don't want to fall out with them as they are good friends and we have helped one another out in the past.

However, this has been going on for a couple of months now and I think she is being a bit cheeky.

How do I handle this without falling out with her.

NotSpaghetti Thu 02-Sep-21 09:17:13

I think this is sorted now.

Good news, pinkcosmos

Gabrielle56 Thu 02-Sep-21 09:07:48

#pranging!

Gabrielle56 Thu 02-Sep-21 09:07:07

FarNorth

^I spoke to my H about the insurance situation and he says he thinks she is OK to drive it as a third party. I could not convince him otherwise.^

He actually has no idea if she's insured or not, does he.

You could both be in legal trouble if she has an accident with your car, or if the police happen to check on her.

The issue really is if she hits a pedestrian , praying a car is costly to the pocket but OMG if she were to hit someone! They'd get zero in the case of serious injury problems and it doesn't bear thinking about

Gabrielle56 Thu 02-Sep-21 09:01:36

Gabrielle56

Say what my 3car owning DS said when I asked for the first and now last time to borrow a car for a trip to choir and I quote :"I don't lend my car's out" yep! you read it here folks! Tight a**e isn't in it. It worked ! Try simply saying the same, she can't insist and you could say your new Insurance doesn't allow for third party scroungers🤣

AND as for the weak DH!! mine takes in packages for all and sundry! Then has a go at ME when I tell him to stop it! He's too scared to say "no" as an ex cop it's astounding!!!

Gabrielle56 Thu 02-Sep-21 08:59:31

Say what my 3car owning DS said when I asked for the first and now last time to borrow a car for a trip to choir and I quote :"I don't lend my car's out" yep! you read it here folks! Tight a**e isn't in it. It worked ! Try simply saying the same, she can't insist and you could say your new Insurance doesn't allow for third party scroungers🤣

alchemilla Tue 31-Aug-21 18:56:31

OP very much hope you have checked your insurance for the car and asked her to email you hers.

And speak to your husband if he's the only one who uses the runaround - if you don't. Seems stupid to tax and insure and MOT a car just because it's cheaper to drive fuel wise.

PinkCosmos Thu 12-Aug-21 13:59:56

We are still friends so maybe she said see that she was being bit cheeky.

Sorry, meant to say - we are still friends so maybe she could see that she was being a bit cheeky

PinkCosmos Thu 12-Aug-21 13:58:04

alchemilla

Hi How is now going

She hasn't asked to borrow the car since my DH told her she was not insured to drive it.

We are still friends so maybe she said see that she was being bit cheeky.

alchemilla Mon 09-Aug-21 14:31:56

Hi How is now going

jeanie99 Wed 04-Aug-21 07:40:47

Just say you are using it.
What a nerve she is taking you for a mug.
I would say not much of a friend, friends don't take advantage of each other.

PinkCosmos Tue 03-Aug-21 15:41:25

Her husband is the named driver.

* Named driver. I meant her husband is the MAIN driver. She is a named driver. Sorry.

Katie59 Tue 03-Aug-21 12:01:53

Named drivers
They are only insured to drive with third party insurance, if they damage the car that comes back to you.

Really, only let someone else drive your car in an emergency, otherwise pay for them to be a named driver.

Blossoming Tue 03-Aug-21 12:00:02

Asking to add her to your insurance is CF-ery of the highest order! She wants you to fund her motoring. Glad she seems to have got the message.

PinkCosmos Tue 03-Aug-21 11:50:05

Update - my husband said to her did she know that she was not insured to drive our car as she was not a named driver on their own car. Her husband is the named driver.

She asked if we would add her on to our insurance so that she could drive the car. She said 'think about it and let me know'.

Neither of us have mentioned the car since. This was a couple of months ago now. I think she has got the message.

welbeck Thu 29-Apr-21 17:45:13

they are cheeky pluckers.
and you/husband are enabling them.

alchemilla Thu 29-Apr-21 14:36:09

Sorry, but I'm flabbergasted people who drive do not know what comprehensive and third party and SORN are. Or, when lending cars, not to check who is covered for what (or even if they have current driving licences).

ExD Thu 29-Apr-21 08:21:56

Of course we have to remember it's the OP's husband who's happily loaning out his son'ss car.

Yorki Wed 28-Apr-21 21:06:50

I would tell them that the tax and insurance is coming up for payment, and as the car is not number one priority right now, it might be off the road for a while. Hopefully they'll either get another car or learn to do without. Personally I think they're taking the Mickey. This would make me feel quite angry. Or say you think there's something wrong with it, so until you've had it looked at it's staying put. You don't owe them an explanation. Or just say " no".

ExD Wed 28-Apr-21 20:38:38

Sorry, your husband is WRONG.
She cannot have 3rd party insurance unless she is insuring a car herself. And as she hasn't got a car to insure ......
She can't use your husband's insurance, she cannot use her own husband's insurance, she cannot use your son's insurance, unless they have named her as an extra driver or have insured the car for 'any' driver.
If she has an accident and someone is hurt or killed she (or the car owner) will be looking for thousands in compensation.
Pick up the phone and ring your insurance company. Please!

FarNorth Wed 28-Apr-21 18:19:54

I spoke to my H about the insurance situation and he says he thinks she is OK to drive it as a third party. I could not convince him otherwise.

He actually has no idea if she's insured or not, does he.

You could both be in legal trouble if she has an accident with your car, or if the police happen to check on her.

FarNorth Wed 28-Apr-21 18:16:10

www.webuyanycar.com/

Get straight on it to sell, or keep being a wimp who is probably committing an offence re insurance.
Your choice.

Lollin Wed 28-Apr-21 09:21:33

pinkcosmos brilliant how you cancelled out the BBQ. Good that your husband told them you plan to sell the car. My local garage offered to buy our old clapped out car for his son’s daughter who was learning too drive. This made it easy for us as he had been servicing the car for years so knew its faults. Another thought on the insurance is to phone the insurance company and ask if it is covered for a neighbour to drive with your permission, then you will know for sure. As others have said Sorn it (then tell your husband!) or as has been suggested I like the idea of hiding the keys !

CafeAuLait Wed 28-Apr-21 09:02:32

You sound like lovely and generous people but you do need to protect yourself. If she is a real friend, she will understand. I once had a friend ask me to drive her somewhere with her baby tucked under the dashboard. It was hard, because I didn't want to upset my friend, but I said no for a host of reasons. It didn't spoil our friendship but did feel awkward at the time. It had to be refused though.

monk08 Wed 28-Apr-21 09:02:08

Hide the car keys then your husband can't lend it her simples.

nokkie Wed 28-Apr-21 08:03:36

I can only confirm what others have said. You are leaving yourself very vulnerable if this person has an accident. Accidents just happen - someone could run into her and then not stop! Who pays for the damage? She would need to be insured fully comp for the insurance to do this. If she is driving on her insurance she is only covered third party to use yours. Has she even got insurance now she doesn't have a car? If she is a named driver on her husband's insurance she is not necessarily insured at all to drive your car. Unless of course, your car is insured for any driver. You and your husband sound like a very nice couple but you need to consider 'worse case sinario' and you are not doing this.