Do you give to people begging in town ?

No.

We have them on our local shopping street too and they are known drug addicts/alcoholics and are very abusive.

It breaks my heart to read some of the 'judgy' comments on here. I fully understand people's differing opinions, but how can any of us know what is right and when is it right to give handouts to homeless people?
There are so many different...and sometimes heartbreaking stories amongst the homeless.

My son is amongst these!
He chose to abuse drugs, which led to a diagnosis of psychosis.
He is now in a hostel... He is soooooo loved by his family. He has diagnosed Bi polar, ADHD and more. He just seems to 'operate' in a differently wired world in his head to his sisters.
We are all professional people.
If we leave him to his own devices... he falls into difficult and scary company.
He doesn't see danger.
Everybody is his friend...until his benefits run out!
We, as a family, chip in to give him a roof over his head, at the hostel.
He is too difficult to have at home...for many reasons.
As his mum, I see him as a lost little boy... (he is 24)...
He thinks his life is ok.
My heart breaks for him as he refuses mental health support. This fits in with his delusions of grandeur.
We are at our wits end trying to help him to make better life choices.
He breaks our hearts... my beautiful boy!

No I have never done this. We have a local man who has been around for years & sits on the pavement on fine days.
People buy him coffee & food & as far as I know he is not on any drugs etc. but likes to live alone. I know he goes missing in the winter & apparently he will then go into a shelter.
Very sad really.

Thankyou for sharing that with us sickofweddingcake I cant begin to imagine the pain that must cause .

Sickofweddingcake not everyone judges negatively. I have someone in my extended family too. Most people can hopefully think a bit more deeply about how this may have happened and why, as with many situations. It doesn't even take that much imagination, does it? lots of love x

I just feel the need to put the 'real' parts of the visuals that people quickly...sometimes rightly...sometimes wrongly...make judgements on as they decide whether to give to people.
I certainly don't know the answer to this.
I sometimes feel that we are solely lacking in services to help mental health...in fact, I know we are!
However, the difficulty is compounded when some, like my son, fall at hurdle after hurdle...
I take my hat off to those that work in the homeless shelters etc.
Having one personal experience of this is awful. How people who work in these environments switch off to some of the homelessness' life stories is beyond me.
On my son's behalf...as a family; we thank them all for the difficult job that they do. x

My late husband, lovely lovely man, was a police officer, he pointed out to me the signs of " scammer beggars in the street". Most popular is a dog, they use the dog to tug at peoples hearts, let's face it, keeping a dog is not cheap these days, always look at their feet, shoes with no laces, deliberately removed, and no socks or gloves on a cold day, I could go on, there are genuine beggars, but few and far between. Being in the police force he encountered and recognised a lot of these so called beggars being brought into the station late at night after causing trouble at the local A&E.

Sickofweddingcake - I am in contact with the families of several of my clients and often feel desperately sad for them. Like you they love their relatives, but often they have simply run out of ways to try and help. Thank you for sharing your situation.

I don’t run a shelter, I’m based in a community cafe whose lovely Christian staff never judge and are always ready with a listening ear alongside free meals and hot drinks. The funding for this comes from my charity and is available to anyone for an initial three days. After that it’s hoped that the person will be willing to engage with my team as we sort out, together, how we can meet the client’s needs.

People who are homeless were once ten year olds with hopes and dreams, who never expected or anticipated that one day they would be without a place to call home. I try never to forget that.

"People who are homeless were once ten year olds with hopes and dreams, who never expected or anticipated that one day they would be without a place to call home. I try never to forget that"

you sound like a lovely person x

Sickofweddingcake
Much the same story as my beautiful nephew.
One minute he was working in Germany the next he was in a British psychiatric unit.
Even to this day we don’t know what happened only that he was picked up on the street in the throes of an extremely disturbing episode.
My sister as a senior social worker pulled every string she could to get him help but even she failed: he can’t be fixed.
A few years ago we tried by ‘employing’ him which would give him money. Sadly we had to give up.
The family still see him on the street. Sometimes he’s quite ok but other times it’s very sad to see.

When you walk past another human being who is begging on the street how can you in that split second decide if they are in genuine need or scamming you??
Why not take the option that that person needs help and give help

If they are scamming you then thats their shame not yours
If they are genuine and you've walked on by then you've missed an opportunity to be kind and that's your shame.

WA

Sickofweddingcake my heart goes out to you

Thank you all for your kind responses. When I looked back later at what I had written, it made me think that none of us ever know what is around any given corner. Thank you all for your kind words. x

May7

When you walk past another human being who is begging on the street how can you in that split second decide if they are in genuine need or scamming you??
Why not take the option that that person needs help and give help

If they are scamming you then thats their shame not yours
If they are genuine and you've walked on by then you've missed an opportunity to be kind and that's your shame.

WA

Exactly how I feel May7 and that’s why I can’t walk on by....

And me.
And Sick of wedding cake - don't give up hope. Never close the door, as some do. Not that you seem to be thinking of doing that.

Fennel
I’m afraid we had to because a situation can become very unsafe very quickly.

When I was very small, we lived in London and often encountered folk begging in tube and train stations.

My dad always gave them a quid. We weren’t very well off, but he never refused any of them.

He explained to me why, once. He said that anyone who was out begging in the streets, no matter why they were begging, must have needed that pound more than he did on his way home to a warm home and a hot meal.

I took it to heart and do the same.

I suppose the question I would ask myself is whether I would rather give to a charity for homeless people when that money will do good and help people to gain a better life or give money to an individual which may enable that person to stay out on the streets and not seek help.

Gwyneth. Romanian by any chance?

MerelStreep - that must have been a nightmare, But for everyone's sake including the poorly person.

No, never

Fennel, some ‘close the door’ as a desperate, sad, means of trying to keep other family members safe.
Just as we don’t judge those whose lives spiral out of control, I feel we should try not to judge their loved ones.

Not any more, I was willing to give the few pound coins I had in my pocket but a man pushed me up against a shop window and said it was obvious I could afford more.
I never get close enough to allow contact.

Fennel

MerelStreep - that must have been a nightmare, But for everyone's sake including the poorly person.

Fennel
The last straw was in the early hours of my daughters wedding day when he was hammering on her door. My 2 grandchildren were in the house.
It was only a few days before when we had offered him work and everything was good.
But as anyone who knows me: if you frighten my grandchildren you are dead in the water ?
Harsh, yes. But you have to be in these situations to understand.

I’m surprised they are not all huge the amount of burgers Greg’s etc that they are given and where does all the coffee go that they are drinking all day
No I have hardened my heart since I was fleeced of £30 in a huge hard luck story by a man desperate to get to his dying father, bigger fool me
There is a lot of help out there and the ones that fall through the net usually don’t want the help offered We have a well run hostel a very successful Sally Army, there are local groups collecting money food and household goods to give out daily, there are night helpers walking the streets ...Giving money just keeps them in the same situation they have always been in, (it is in my opinion and in the advice from charities that help) keeping the problem alive and kicking
I m not hard hearted to anyone that falls on hard times and will help if I can but not with money

And no Socialhermit I m neither a Tory nor a little Englanders neither could be further from the truth so a very unwelcome judgement from you Feeding an alcohol or drug habit is doing the person no favours at all especially if you know they have already rejected physical help