Is my partner rude to me?

He sounds as if he doesn't actually like you very much .sort. he's neither used to being centre of attention and is irritated by your having an opinion , or he's just plain rude. Either way you deserve much much better

OMG How do you put up with his behavior is beyond me.
Get rid and fast, what a horrible man.
Life is too short.

I think this man is just plain awful the way he speaks to you , it’s not you being “ sensitive “ , how dare he say such obnoxious things to you , no way would I have put up with his manner , I’d have had to say something, please or offend ! Think he needs a size 10 up his backside . ! ! Just dreadful! !

You deserve better

So much good advice from GNs here. All I can do is add my voice to say: "end this relationship now!" Wishing you every happiness with your future life.

I think, by the very outpouring of facts that you've done here, that you already know what you need to do. Keep re-reading what you've written and all doubt will disappear. I wish you well.

This thread is from May , I wonder what has happened to the OP since then ?

Is he ever!
Listen, this man is using and abusing you.
Do you want to be a doormat?
What happens when the verbal abuse escalates?
I see no sign of any respect or love in what you are quoting.
As they say on Mumsnet - LTB,
(Lose the bastard)

Shangela This man is emotionally abusing you. Look at this link www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/arguing-and-conflict/what-emotional-abuse

He undermines you, corrects you, blames you for making him the way he is. He is constantly telling you that everything is your fault - but when he wants to be nice and can see an advantage for him in being nice he will be. he makes lots of promises and delivers on none of them.

Whether you like it or not, you are in a classic emotionally abusive relationship. This is a relationship with no future, get out now and do not be tempted to give it a second chance because he comes aroundtrying to wheedle himself into your good books and makes promise after promise of reform. He will not deliver on those promises, or will, but not for long.

It's just getting me down and making me scared to speak or say the wrong thing.

I think you've answered your own question. If your gut's telling you it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Does your partner have Asperger's? That might explain his behaviour and remarks? Does he have empathy for you and can you have a two way conversation with him, or is it just him talking all the time?

Oh dear, not good. Yes you've been together a year but better to get out now than ve mired in an increasingly joyless and unpleasant relationship
He won't get better, only worse, and it will happen insidiously as you are worn down.
He is being very rude, and disrespectful. Once he has got you to accept being spoken to like that it will get worse. He's already got you Think ing that perhaps it is you who is being sensitive, well you are not. I winced when I read the things he has said. Don't be like me, get out as soon as you can
If you stood up to him politely but firmly bet you anything he would call you rude, but you are just putting boundaries in place
I bet you anything that even if you stay in the hope of getting the money back you will not get much back if anything at all. Do you have an agreement with him about the money? You could always take him to the small claims court if you did. Obviously we don't know if you need to leave or you need to throw him out. Plan the parting before you do it as this will make things easier

Have you left yet?

Take a blank piece of paper and draw a line down the middle to make two columns. One column is for a list of all the things you like about him and the other is for all the things that you don’t like about him. See what you get. If you’re miserable with him most of the time, then it’s time to meet someone new.

Sorry to hear this ...the only advice I can give ....sort out your finances quickly and leave asap. This man is wrecking your self esteem ...he is the problem not you. He's not going to change ....leave now is the best plan for your own peace of mind

The problem lies entirely with him ....sounds like a control issue..... It'll only get worse. Don't make excuses for him . I personally think you should get out of this relationship....hope you're not tied up financially. Good luck

Please don't stay with "man " any longer .
He is not only being rude but displaying what could be termed as coercive behavior.
Whatever you do, he won't change, that is the way he is in his own sad little world that he feels he has to belittle you constantly.
Pack your bags and move out while you can and cut all ties .

Yes, he sounds very unkind, but I’m also conscious it may not be his fault. However, as sad as that is, you’re not obliged to put up with it. You’re not right together, but with different partners, you could both thrive.
All the best with it.

I really wouldn’t stay with this person, he isn’t right for you, or for any woman by the sound of him.
You haven’t said if you live in his house or yours but you need to either get him out, or leave yourself.
Forget the money he owes you, that will be his way of having a hold on you, by promising to pay you back.
Write the money off, your mental health is worth more than money.
Hopefully, you will have family or friends who can help you to get away from this person, if not you can contact Women’s Aid and they can advise and help.
Be brave!

You say that your partner is receiving medication for his diagnosis of ADHD and I assume this is from his GP. Would he agree to you going with him to see his GP and ask if counselling is available for you as a couple. I am not medically qualified but it sounds as if he possibly has Aspergers Syndrome which is on the Autistic Spectrum and is apparently quite common in men. Life with him does sound really difficult and you may decide it’s not for you but this might be worth trying.

I honestly don't know much about autism. Can it rapidly worsen over the course of a year and would someone be able to disguise it at the beginning of a relationship?

Without doing the googling, I suspect not. He is probably just an insecure twerp who has found a good natured soul he can abuse to make himself feel superior, without the intelligence to know that his behaviour shows what a shabby little man he is.

Get shot.

The fact you are asking says a lot. He sounds unpleasant and whilst he probably doesn't mean it (most of us have prickly ways, high standards and the like) but this sounds like emotional abuse.

How does it make you feel? Are you treading on eggshells? Your answers to these questions are important.

Years ago, I was with a man who sulked. He'd go quiet and punish me for my unintentional errors by going silent for days - one time, for 2 weeks. I was terrified to leave and stuck it for 7 years. Looking back, leaving was the best thing I did.

It's hard to imagine being happy again - especially if alone/single. But, it IS possible.

You need to leave. You deserve better.

What do you see in this guy that leads you to believe in a future with him.?
He has no respect for you made clear by what appears to be his sick enjoyment listening to ,*, not explanations* ,as what you are giving him is apologies apologies for what ?
Run is my advice.

Elizabeth1, I think yours is the worst possible post you could have done to this poor girl. It sounds more like you’re a man. Why should she put up and shut up and grow a pair? Good grief, I can’t fathom on what level you thought that was a good helpful post!

You get so used to being in an unhappy relationship that you stop noticing it. I’ll never forget meeting someone else after my marriage ended who actually spoke to me. We were driving to the cinema and he turned to me and said ‘what are you thinking’. I was totally taken aback. The only conversation I used to have in the car with my husband was about what work needed doing on the car. He used to say ‘ life is the same as work: you have a problem, you solve it, you move on’. No discussion about feelings or emotions. But, as I’ve said before he is a thoroughly decent, kind person. We just weren’t suited to each other. He needed someone stronger and more confident.