Planned outing with friends - now feeling sad and lost

Addendum.... I did read that your dates didn't clash on this occasion but, sloppily, it didn't register. So glad it worked out for you. Since you are such good buddies maybe you could run your thoughts on this by her sometime?

I'm sympathetic to your thinking but I'm trying to imagine the current difficulty of someone having to forego a whole prospective trip because of one day. Yes, it's a bit insensitive and irresponsible of her but in these currently difficult times I guess we shouldn't be too judgemental. Start thinking now of who you might approach as a suitable replacement just in case. Fingers crossed it all works out well for you. Good luck and enjoy your exhibition whoever you share it with.

FWIW I would have felt hurt too Rowantree. Luckily (this time) the dates don’t clash. I’d be wary (mindful) of booking anything going forward though.

...Perhaps she thinks you have lots of things going on she doesn’t know about?... hollysteers Trouble is, I don't! I completely admire and support the ways she's moved on from a very difficult life and gained new confidence. My own confidence is low again and while I recognise that that's my problem and I cannot and must not depend on anyone else for my happiness, I wouldn't consider doing that to anyone unless there was a very good reason or an emergency.

I'm hypersensitive at the moment - I found the WI tea in the park this afternoon overwhelming, knew hardly anyone and though I chatted to people and mingled, I felt like the proverbial fish out of water. Everyone else looked so at ease and together.
I would definitely go by myself if need be but Friend B is coming and hopefully Friend A if there's no better offer!

Thank you all for your insight. I don't feel such an idiot for feeling a bit hurt.
hollysteers you might be right about lockdown and vulnerability. In a sense, too, there was some comfort knowing no one could go out and socialise, so less pressure and no FOMO! Now all that's changed and the pressure is on to resume where we left off. Not so easy when you struggle.

I'd feel like you, especially if I'd arranged something that I thought my friend would really appreciate and be excited about.

It's no good dwelling on it, though, as it won't make her feel any differently. We all see things differently. If she doesn't go with you and gives her ticket to someone else perhaps you can enjoy their company instead.

If that happens I would feel inclined afterwards to enthuse about how good it was (even if it wasn't !). At least go and enjoy it yourself.

I really think this is rather childish behaviour on your so called friends part. I don’t think you are but it is unfortunate you are sensitive that’s your nature. Personally I would find someone else to go with and would move on.

I don’t think you are overreacting at all. You friend sounds rather selfish as a prearranged meeting should really come first and she was not understanding or apologetic about it.
I think we all are feeling more vulnerable after lockdown. I remember being upset during first lockdown when I went to the trouble of preparing morning coffee etc for friends in the garden and they let me down. I even cried over it, when normally it wouldn’t have bothered me too much.
You say you are close friends and have been through a lot but she doesn’t seem to really know you.
Perhaps she thinks you have lots of things going on she doesn’t know about?

YANBU to feel a bit put out, but I’m sure your friend would not have meant to hurt you. We have to accept that things that we find important may not matter so much to others. You can get past this and enjoy time with your friends.