Footballs over the fence

I have twins next door and they can knock 3 times a night asking for their ball back. Why do their parents allow them to do that?
They play with a heavy leather ball which damages my plants/pond. I was sitting in my garden reading when it hit me once.
They kick the ball against the metal garage door and scream & shout.
Sometimes they play at the front and run all over the neighbours gardens with the ball. My car has been damaged too.
I never allowed my son to behave like that. There are several parks nearby - an astro turf football pitch you could walk to.
I blame the parents

This thread reminded me of when my DS bought his first house (he was 19, just old enough for a mortgage). His mates used to gather and they’d kick footballs about in the garden. If they went over the fence, the elderly woman next door used to confiscate them.

Years later she was moving away and DS, having done quite well for himself over the years, bought her house as a buy to let. He opened the door to the garden shed and there, piled floor to ceiling, were all his footballs!

It really wouldn’t bother me I have three boys and we looked at an estate to live in whilst they were growing up. We now live in a quiet culdesac with some children but mainly older people. But I work with kids and don’t mind a few balls in the garden.

I wish balls were my only problem. We spent a good deal of money building a six foot high ranch style fence round the whole garden. The children next door climbed it so often it became a hazard. Did their parents offer to pay for the damage. No they didn't. They can ignored it completely.

A problem when it does damage to plants, pots etc. Going off piste here but twice now my neighbours big patio umberella has taken off in the wind and landed in my garden. First time no damage, second time completely smashed my delphiniums which were just coming into flower. I was very annoyed, just secure it or put it in the shed.

I think the truth is there’s a balance here -I think I’m reasonable and I love to hear the children having fun as mine did.

The issue is entirely to do with frequency, damage caused and the accompanying insistent shouting if you can’t respond immediately.

We can all understand the occasional ball but if it is constant if it causes damage to your own garden and spoils the enjoyment of your own space, that can create sadness and if no consideration is shown then that is the problem.

There's something unhealthy about wanting kids' play to be supervised all the time. In many places there aren't easily accessible areas where they can play without disturbing other people. That is not the fault of the kids.

Kids need to play and football is popular and is good exercise. On the one hand people tend to complain that kids are lazy and unhealthy because they need more exercise yet on the other hand people also complain of the kids' play disturbs them.

I have a nearby neighbour who has had her fence damaged by footballs. There us a grassed area next to her house and the youngsters have admitted they need her fence for goals. Also her 3 year old GD has been struck by a football flying over the fence as well as planting damaged. In the evening she can't open her windows as she hears the racket from shouting etc also balls banning off the side of her house. Therd are Conditions on the grassed area that should not be used for ball games probably as close to properties, car parking areas and surrounded by 3 roads. At times this neighbour has been in tears having been threatened with violence from the kids when she has gone out and asked them to stop or at least move to the other side of the grass. I would ban foit6ball being played anywhere other than on a proper football pitch with supervision. And this is from someone whose brother was a professionally footballer player. The lady does not return the balls other than to an adult and they don't like having to traipse down the road and ask for the ball. Most complain that it's a bother. Try having a football over your fence 8 times a day, that's a bother. If the kids don't get a reply at the door they just attempt to climb the fence though other neighbours will stop them if spotted doing this.

At 15 years old he should be taking himself off to open space /park to play football, to be honest I’d be cross especially having flowers bushes hit with football, I wouldn’t be happy with three or four balls a day coming over, agree with Jennifer Eccles,

Reading some of these replies make me feel really sad. No wonder old people get called names. We are talking about footballs coming into our gardens and some people are really, really mean. Keeping balls until the kids come and ask for them ? Only throwing back occasionally ? Puncturing them ? How horrible some of you are.
I think it’s a small price to pay having balls arrive to have families around, perhaps some of you should live in a field or an old folks home ! Could complain about clicking knitting needles then or drumming fingers .

JenniferEccles

At 15 he is old enough to be aware that it must be annoying for his neighbour to keep having these balls landing in their garden, possibly damaging expensive plants.

He is most certainly more than old enough to go to an open space somewhere to have a kick about.

The parents’ attitude is dreadful.
The children love football so to hell with everyone else.

I was going to say exactly this. Shame you can’t attach a string to it and hand it back saying tie the other end to your spare foot since your aim is so bad!
Sadly Some people do not care about anyone but themselves though, if the garden is really too small time to save it for the local park put directions on their ball!

It can be really annoying, depending on how often it happens. Have you got a dog ? We live in the end house just before a side road and the back garden of the first house in the side road runs along the bottom of ours. They have young kids and when balls of all kinds and sizes came over the fence (regularly) they were wrecking plants in our bottom border. Then I discovered that our Jack Russell is a ball destruction machine - he bursts them and then runs round the garden shaking them until they’re reduced to wet plastic !! It was hilarious entertainment for a while, until they got sick of me throwing lumps of dog spit covered plastic back over the fence !! It stopped quite quickly after that.

We had a football mad teenager next to us. We had big back gardens, so all his mates came round for a kick about. I wouldn't have minded throwing balls back but they never asked, just pushed their way through the hedge and showed no consideration for my garden.

I live in North London and on a play street - which is the only place around here that kids can play football. The balls are regularly kicked onto the flat roof of the garage attached to this house (but not mine!) and they always, always knock and ask for the ball back, not realising that my garden does not stretch behind the property.

I've sometimes been a little annoyed, especially if I'm doing something and don't want to be interupted but come on! "Can we have our ball back" is standard growing up fare, surely?

Did this not happen to your own?

I had this problem all the time with my previous (lovely) neighbours. Several times a day I’d throw the balls back. Sometimes I’d wait for them to ask. Mostly the guilty party was Dad not the boys. A lot of damage was done to my flowerbeds so I was relieved when they moved. Later as I was trimming back a dense shrub I recovered four balls and a very bedraggled teddy ( think it belonged to their dog) I put him in the washing machine and he now sits on my bed ?

I think I’d find it quite amusing if balls kept appearing in my garden. It’s clearly not doing damage to plants or the OP would have mentioned it. And you don’t have to throw one back every single time one lands. Just pop them back over when you happen to be in the garden. But I agree the 15 year old should try to be considerate. My parents would have taught me that if your ball goes into someone’s garden then you’re not allowed to play ball anymore and to apologise to the neighbour. But it’s great to hear children’s innocent laughing and playing.

You don't mention any damage to your garden, pattieb, so I presume that's not the problem. In which case, it sounds as though you are coping with the balls just being there very well and chucking them back when you feel like it. Go you ? !

Living next door to children is bound to cause some friction - but also a lot of joy. You either have to put up with it or move, but that won’t guarantee that a young family won’t move next door. I’d rather have children next door than the disagreeable older couple that I have.

Neilspurgeon0

Oh get a life, kids are not young and fancy free for very long, Chuck the balls back and have a joke with them about improving their dribbling skills, now they are too big for a bib! Kids actually love a bit of banter from a jokey adult.

Unfortunately it is attitudes like your laissez faire approach which contributes to all the crap which the rest of us mere mortals have to deal with. You perhaps have been lucky in life and not had the stress of living next door to crap neighbours who don't give a shit about others around them. Many of us have dealt at some point with inconsiderate neighbours and believe me it is incredibly stressful. Would you like to hear the constant banging of a ball on your fence day in day out and possible damage to expensive plants you have paid for?? Or maybe you are one of these inconsiderate neighbours who expects everybody else to just put up with you????

Shinamae

I wish I could throw my neighbours three cats back over the fence when they come in my garden!!….?

Water pistol is the answer!

It's all a question of respect. I have no problem with any child kicking a ball in their own garden, nor with that coming over into my garden by mistake every now and then. However, as a regular thing I think this is disrespectful on the part of the parents who should be supervising. I'm surprised at the comments about children being children and how they should be allowed to do what they want - if they were kicking a ball over and it landed onto a smaller child or an elderly person, or into the pram with a baby in it I'm sure the blanket response would change. And frankly if I'd been tending my garden and found my flowers damaged I'd been very annoyed. So it's back to the old problem of respect for others. My grandson has now become much more respectful about kicking his football over the back of his garden and into a neighbour's garden, now that that particular neighbour has started to spend weekends elsewhere and is never in to throw the ball back or answer the door. It's taught him a lesson which is to keep the ball in his own garden.

I agree with bikergran and all others who see this as being totally unacceptable and extremely annoying. This just once again is another example of badly brought up kids and bad parenting who are not teaching their children respect for others. I brought up 3 kids on my own, two boys who were mad about ball sports but they were never allowed to bother our neighbours like this and were sent off to the local playing fields by the time they were this lads age. I couldn't stand them damaging my plants, let alone our neighbours. Personally I would be keeping the balls and not giving them back anymore. Enough is enough.

Some things never change. When I was a teenager, I practised tennis shots against our garage wall, but all too often the ball soared over the garage roof into the neighbours' garden. We were on very good terms with them, but they must have got fed up with my going to the door and asking if I could go and get my ball. In the end, they told me not to ask, just go and get it. Sadly, my tennis never improved!

My neighbour never returned the balls or if he did he'd put a knife through them first. My children didnt intentionally kick the ball over quite the opposite they tried there hardest not to aim high..
I always throw everything back that comes my way.