My husband died 6 years ago. We had been together for 44 years since I was 14. I was absolutely devastated. I am now 63.
Three years ago I reconnected with a man I had befriended many years before. He was divorced, attractive, romantic, sexy, kind and generous and just a year younger than me. Everything I could wish for in a man. He was very affectionate, always wanting to kiss and cuddle, he made me laugh, told me and everyone else, that he loved me and would do anything for me. We had sex occasionally, but it was mostly about giving me pleasure. I did wonder about this, but didn’t dwell on it. I fell in love with him.
Fast forward a year and we decided to live together. He moved to my area, got a new local job, and moved in with me. He says he loves living in the country, (he was in a city before). I’ve got a lovely house, and he now only works part time. We’ve got two dogs and a cat now too.
Since then I have discovered that he drinks far too much, has diabetes and erectile dysfunction. He’s still kind and generous, and says he loves me. He gets on well with my family and friends and is now cutting down on his drinking.
My problem is there is not much affection. We sleep in separate rooms, there’s very little kissing and cuddling. I feel like he’s a different person to the one I was with during that first year. I somehow feel that maybe I’ve been played! I try to talk to him about it, but it always ends in a row.
I’ve realised that to be happy I really need affection and to feel that he finds me attractive. It’s not so much the lack of sex (though I wouldn’t say no), it’s just the feeling that we are more like housemates.
I would miss him dreadfully if he did move out.
Am I wanting too much from a relationship at my age? Should I just be glad that I’m not alone and I have someone that loves me?.
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