To say I'd rather meet in the park.

No it would not be unreasonable! Do it.

Not unreasonable at all. In fact, a very tactful reply! However, she may still be worried about going out so perhaps you could delve a but further....

Yes , do send that message , it’s true and maybe she needs encouragement to get out of the house

Not in the slightest!
Is she being selfish or are you sending a touch of agoraphobics perhaps? Or is it difficult for her to leave the dogs perhaps.
Might be worth finding out, but stick to your guns!

That should have been “sensing “ a touch of agoraphobia. ?

Exactly what you said , a text saying stick to the original arrangement if she doesn’t like it tough. Go anyway and have a coffee and nice walk.

No, YANBU, if you would rather do the park just the two of you catching a breath of fresh air, then say so! Does she suffer from a form of agoraphobia do you think, or has this only started since Covid arrived?

I think you should stick with the original plan, particularly if she has form for wanting things her way. The park sounds lovely. It may be that she has anxiety around going out, especially in these covid days. But there is less likelihood of picking up a virus in the open air than in her house. Tell her you are looking forward to the park.

I’ve got a friend like that. I think she really enjoys the feeling of her house full and stuff going on in it. I usually get the daughters and grandchildren joining in too!

I’m reconciled to it now. It’s part and parcel of this particular friendship. She’s just not an eatout/coffee person.

She was like this before Covid and she's definitely not agoraphobic. She tends to be bad at managing her time and I think she finds it easier if people come to her than trying to fit in the time to drive to and from the planned venue , look up train or bus timetables etc

But it usually means putting extra travel and inconvenience on the other person.

Anyhow I've taken a deep breath and sent the text.

Well done you for the text. That was the first difficult task. The next one will be to stick to your guns if she reneges. I would go one further and say I would still go to the park and hope she changes her mind.

This could be me. I much prefer people to come to me. If I go out I worry - are the dogs OK, what if there is a delivery (driver might open front door and put it inside then the dogs might rip it or worse get out), are there nice toilets where we are going, will I like the food - you get the picture. So perhaps your friend is the same.

Not unreasonable at all, especially as you’ve confirmed she’s always been like this. Well done sending the text.

I got a text back saying she has to drive her husband somewhere because his car is being serviced and she'll need hers later to go shopping, and a delivery didn't arrive yesterday and she's hoping it will come later this morning and her son often wears earphones when he's working and won't hear the bell........

I just texted back that she seems to have a lot on this morning and let's postpone until a better time

I think you've dodged an incredibly annoying catch up! Good for you.

Well done but such a pity for you. Hope you either find another friend to coffee with or enjoy one on your own. You really have to stick to your guns here or your future fate will be sealed. Good luck!

Was your friend like this before Covid?

I think you'll have to stick to your guns here, to change the pattern. Once in a while, ok, things happen. She's unreliable though.

Kim19

Well done but such a pity for you. Hope you either find another friend to coffee with or enjoy one on your own. You really have to stick to your guns here or your future fate will be sealed. Good luck!

Me! I’ll go for coffee with you. In fact I quite often go out on my own just for a cup of coffee.?

Up to her now isn’t it? Well done ?

There is something rather nice about sitting alone with a coffee watching the world go by, followed by a good walk at your own pace.
Stick to your guns when she reschedules, otherwise find another ‘coffee and walk’ companion.

I have had agoraphobia for years and even lost friends because if it. I used to make any excuse to meet in my own home as I was so ashamed. Thankfully with help I am now able to go out occasionally and now tell friends the real reason. Your friend could be feeling this way. I do hope she seeks help if she is feeling this way.

Peasblossom

Kim19

Well done but such a pity for you. Hope you either find another friend to coffee with or enjoy one on your own. You really have to stick to your guns here or your future fate will be sealed. Good luck!

Me! I’ll go for coffee with you. In fact I quite often go out on my own just for a cup of coffee.?

Up to her now isn’t it? Well done ?

Can I come too * Peasblosom* ? I’d LOVE somebody to have a coffee in the park with ( if we had a park) but everybody seems to be busy with husbands and grandchildren.

Me too I’ve an empty day apart from the tennis would love a coffee and chat.

Well, I don’t think you’re a million miles away from me Mawbe. I do have a bidey-in , but he’s playing bowls (again?)

What you doing tomorrow?

Perhaps we’d better pm.