To think that a trend is starting here

Can I play my " human being who recognises and supports others in difficulties" card?

Or else my "believes the youth of today would be as likely as any others in history to do their duty if needed" card?

This weekend, Sir Digby Jones has accused the Sports commentator Alex Scott of ’playing the class card’

(Jones had a go at her - on Twitter, natch - because she doesn’t pronounce the ‘g’ at the end of words. Scott responded that she is proud of her working class background.)

So it seems that there are many cards available for playing - race, sex, mental health, class.

Today I’m going to see if I can make up a few of my own, and accuse others of ‘playing’ them.

Lucca The fact that you do not like phrases like, 'playing the mental health card' etc, and I do share your distaste, doesn't stop some people doing everyone of those things you mention. Unfortunately this devalues the very real problems of other people who are mentally ill, or discriminated against for any reason.

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown had a very good article in the i this week on the subject of women who are incompetent in their jobs and seem to get away with it because it is considered sexist to be honest and call them out. While not being political, this has been very visible in some recent appointments to high profile jobs in the public sector.

For some people playing these cards is a form of passive aggression. Many years ago before mental problems were fully recognised I had an American flatmate, whose great get out of gaol card was claiming 'that she wasn't 'emotionally' up to doing things. Things she wasn't 'emotionally' up to doing included her share of the housework and cooking, being welcoming to any friends I or my friend, the third flatmate, invited to visit, or anything else that didn't appeal to her. In the end I decided I wasn't 'emotionally' up to living with her and I moved out. No doubt today she would play the mental health card and tell us that her mental health was too fragile for some reason to cook, clean and be polite to visitors.

“ These are the ones who annoy me.”. Looks like that’s your answer summerlove

Germanshepherdsmum

Thank you Doodledog for putting my comments into context.
Yes Lucca, it seems to be becoming a trend, almost a must-have accessory, an excuse made by a lot of people who confuse feeling a bit fragile or down (doesn’t everyone?) with actual mental ill-health. These are the ones who annoy me. I haven’t referred here to Simone, about whom I know nothing, but to the seemingly growing number of people who think they’re no-one if they haven’t got ‘issues’ and think nothing of letting others down whilst they indulge themselves. Harry and Meghan spring to mind. If that woman was ever suicidal and was in tears at the Albert Hall (but looking immaculate when the lights went up) I’ll happily eat my hat - but that’s another thread.

So you admit that you pulled through and carried on while suicidal, but don’t imagine others can?

Why is that?

Lucca

Perhaps it is worth bearing in mind that we have experienced a pandemic too.

Nope.
Apparently all young people are simply wimps /wusses/snowflakes.

I despair.

Lucca

I don’t like that expression “playing the mental health card” anymore than I like “plying the race card” or “ woke “ or “PC gone mad”.

I agree Lucca, mostly.

I have a friend who has bipolar. She is fine, most of the time, including for the last two years, working overseas and unable to travel to see family. But at times, maybe once every two or three years, her bipolar rears up and she has to have a substantial amount of time off work to battle it. When she's in the middle of it, she is probably what most people once would have thought of as being insane. It is very distressing to witness. She's also a suicide risk. When she is well, she is a very productive employee, great at her job.

I also have a couple of friends who have retreated into MH issues for other reasons. One, a married woman, who has never worked, I think uses it as 'ladies' did historically, to enable her to stay on her sofa and still command attention. The other, a very lonely woman, for similar reasons. I don't deny they both have problems, but I think one would be helped by having a job and the other by having a partner. I have sympathy for both of them of course. But they are not in the same category as my first friend, who is severely disabled at times by her illness and yet who strives to live as normally as possible.

I wasn't aware that there was a requirement to answer the OP in every comment Doodledog.

Well, there isn't, MoorlandMooner, but there is a requirement in most situations not to quote someone out of context, which it seems like you have done.

I wouldn't use the phrases that have been quoted, such as 'wimps' or 'bleat', as I fully accept that mental ill-health can happen to anyone (and I agree that 'playing the X card' is always dismissive and facile, whatever X represents). I do, however, disagree that people have to put themselves first. This is particularly true in work situations, but the same applies in social situations where others are being inconvenienced.

If someone is unable to do a job because of their mental health it is sad, but no different from being unable to do it because of a physical illness, or a lack of qualifications, or whatever. It is wrong for someone to keep taking the salary and expect others to do their job for them.

There is a difference (IMO) when it comes to athletes, who are not expecting others to pick up their slack, and even if they were, they are not doing it on a regular basis or they wouldn't have been selected for a team. As has been said from the start of the thread, it must take courage and strength of character to pull out of a high-level competition such as the Olympics, and it is not for anyone to criticise someone who does so.

Moorlandmooner you cannot compare that statistic with joining up during wartime.

I don’t like that expression “playing the mental health card” anymore than I like “plying the race card” or “ woke “ or “PC gone mad”.

Germanshepherdsmum asked, "Can you imagine the youth of today volunteering or accepting their call-up papers? "

Over 100,000 young people applied to join the British Army in the year ending April 2020. www.army.mod.uk/news-and-events/news/2020/02/army-recruitment-is-highest-in-recent-years/

Pammie1 to answer your question, I think that Simone Beale's MH problems are real, understandable and justified.

I do think that, in some ways, MH problems have been widely publicised and some may have jumped on this, I hesitate to say bandwagon, and MH problems are being claimed by some who have not experienced the very real traumas suffered by Simone and others.

Doodledog

MoorlandMooner

'mental elf ' 'wimps' 'bleat' 'want to shake them and tell them to get a grip'

This is 2021. Surely we are better than this?

Is this really how we think of people who are ill or struggling?

No, but that's not what the OP is asking. The question is whether it is reasonable for people with ongoing or recurrent MH issues to pull our of commitments if they will inconvenience others.

I wasn't aware that there was a requirement to answer the OP in every comment Doodledog.

If the original question was 'Am I being unreasonable to think that a trend is starting here', then I would say the OP is not being unreasonable. It is now possible for people to be open and honest about their mental health issues and people are doing so. I hope this freedom continues.

If the question is as you say, is 'Is it reasonable for people with ongoing or recurrent MH issues to pull out of commitments if they will inconvenience others' then yes it is absolutely reasonable. Poor mental health is as valid a reason to pull out as any health issue and that in this instance people have to put themselves first.

@Galaxy. Not sure who your last post was for ?

But presumably you know nothing about the other people with mental health issues as well.

I think she was quite right to withdraw if, as she said, she was unable to get her brain and body in sync. I can understand how that could happen.

What these girls do while flying through the air is amazing but also very dangerous. Accidents resulting in serious injury often happen, and if the young lady knew she was unable to control her "twists, turns etc" then maybe she was quite right to withdraw.

Where did I say she was abused by everyone around her gwyneth I said she was abused as a child by those looking after her I presume her abuser came under that description someone who was supposed to be looking after her health and well being
Mental health, flashbacks, dips in confidence, ‘freezing’ and panic attacks can happen to anyone however talented they are
I think she was brave to think ‘I can’t do this’ and pull out I m sure it’s not what she ideally would have wanted

Thank you Doodledog for putting my comments into context.
Yes Lucca, it seems to be becoming a trend, almost a must-have accessory, an excuse made by a lot of people who confuse feeling a bit fragile or down (doesn’t everyone?) with actual mental ill-health. These are the ones who annoy me. I haven’t referred here to Simone, about whom I know nothing, but to the seemingly growing number of people who think they’re no-one if they haven’t got ‘issues’ and think nothing of letting others down whilst they indulge themselves. Harry and Meghan spring to mind. If that woman was ever suicidal and was in tears at the Albert Hall (but looking immaculate when the lights went up) I’ll happily eat my hat - but that’s another thread.

I think pulling out at that level takes guts whether it for physical or mental reasons. The temptation to push on must be very strong and the support and understanding from team mates has been great to see.
But ... I fear it may lead to an increase in kids pulling out of exams and adults going sick when under any stress. It may backfire on those genuinely mentally struggling.

Being away from family for long periods of time has been cited as a cause of mental health problems for Naval personnel since before the war, when terms of duty at sea lasted sometimes over 2 years.
A quote from Ashley Giles about Ben Stokes says, “Spending significant amounts of time away from family, with minimal freedoms, is extremely challenging.”
The difference is that now people are allowed to admit it -which is a good thing.
The downside is that there will be many more claims and the finance to deal with them is not there.

Perhaps it is worth bearing in mind that we have experienced a pandemic too.

“ play the mental health card ”. Oh dear

I knew that something was very wrong from seeing her on her first exercise.
It was obvious that she wasn’t herself.

Germanshepheard
Your right, they weren’t wimps. My father was 19 years old and a signalman on the Russian convoys.
We all certainly suffered at his hands because of his experience.

That’s appalling Callistemon. Thank you for the link.

Gwyneth

According to a previous poster she was sexually abused by the gymnastic physician so are you now saying that she was abused by all those around her bluebell. What I was saying in my post was that when you are with people for long periods of time as I’m guessing would apply to coaches, nutritionists etc I am surprised that someone didn’t pick up that something was wrong and took action.

They knew and ignored it Gwyneth

www.thecut.com/2021/07/olympics-2021-simone-biles-sexual-asault-survivors.html