To think there is nothing wrong with being a 'home bird'

All sorts of things come into play with the choices of where you end up living. In our family my parents generation gradually moved out of the area in London where they had been brought up and went in different directions. Some of my cousins did not go too far and are still in visiting distance of each other but most of us are miles away from each other. Few people that I went to school with are where we grew up.
Dd and I were talking about it yesterday - DGD has married into a family who still live within spitting distance of each other whereas ours are scattered mainly due to job location. We miss being able to see everyone even for a coffee on a regular basis. Smaller families also have a bearing on this. My parents had five or six siblings each whereas I had one who never married and I had two children - one emigrated for work - and both of mine have two children but of course the cousins have not grown up in the same vicinity - families soon become much more fragmented. To have family close by must be great but unfortunately not everyone can have that - it has become much more apparent with the lockdown and so many people isolated from family.

lovebeigecardigans1955

That's what I thought Lillie and we're all different, aren't we? Some of us are happy at home and there's nothing wrong with that. I suppose it depends on whether you can amuse yourself with hobbies etc or not. Those who can't must find fulfilment elsewhere.

Ah, there’s that “slightly disapproving” remark you were talking about OP.

Only the opposite way round.

I would have thought being a “home bird” was a big advantage, you retain your friends, so many women follow their men and have to make a whole new life for the family with every move.

I’ve moved 5 miles in the last 45yrs, now the kids are off my hands I love travel and adventure and intend to do as much a possible while I am still fit enough. No desire to move away and live elsewhere.

I grew up in the centre of Liverpool but we moved when I was about five to the outskirts. On an estate surrounded by farmland over the years it’s spread out more with mixed housing shops and businesses. It’s still surrounded by farmland and two minutes over the road from my house is woodland a previous rail line that stretches for miles.
I moved away for about five years only about six miles away but hated it as I missed the woods and greenery.
When I moved back it was a ten minute walk through the woods to my parents house where I grew up sadly they have gone now.
I remarried but would not move from here and I never will. It’s not perfect but to me it’s familiar and it’s home. I am not adventurous I don’t drive where I don’t know either but that’s my choice.

Silverbridge has posted the definition of a home bird as I understand it. I’ve lived and travelled in a number of countries but I’ve always made a home to return to in each of them. It’s my safe space, my refuge, if you like, and it’s nothing to do with where I was born or grew up. In fact, I’d hate to live in those places now, they’re unrecognisable to me.

My ancestors seem to have been a peripatetic lot, going back to the 1600’s, and I feel very lucky to have travelled and lived abroad as well. Someone said to me on my first foreign posting ‘Welcome to the club.’ I asked her what she meant and she explained that living elsewhere takes you out of your comfort zone and changes you forever in ways that only others in the same position can understand. Also that no one at home is interested, which is very true and why this post will probably be ignored!

I now live somewhere with people who’ve lived here forever (one older man still sleeps in the bedroom in which he was born!) and people who have non-UK backgrounds and/or have moved many times. Neither can be categorised as being of one view or the other. Some are interesting and open minded, others I do a swerve to avoid if I can but it has nothing to do with their home background.

I still live in my Grandmother's house, she moved here 1934. I am 62 now and have known one of my lovely neighbours since I was 16.

My Nephew will have the house so 4 Generations

she explained that living elsewhere takes you out of your comfort zone and changes you forever in ways that only others in the same position can understand. Also that no one at home is interested,

SueDonim I totally agree with that.

If we look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs we can see that if and once our basic and psychological needs are met, we can move onto those to do with esteem and self-actualisation including our creative needs. Those may take us away from home or may be things we can achieve without leaving home.

I agree with you SueDonim, travel, especially living in different cultures, broadens our experience but it's good to have that safe refuge to come home to. How many of us have stepped through our front doors after a long or even short time away, thought or even said out loud: It's good to be home.

One of the most poignant films I've seen on the subject is Up in the Air starring George Clooney, based on the novel by Walter Kirn. I turns the idea of being a homebird on its head because he is always flying. His home is a sterile apartment that he rarely sees and is uncomfortable in. His home is in the air but he starts to long for the kind of (literally) grounded family life and attachments that other people have.

halfpint 1
I know the feeling.
Having once moved BUT ten miles from one seaside location to another was asked 'what be you want to go there ?

I live a 5-10 min drive from the house I grew up in. I moved from my childhood home when I got married. We lived in that house for 10yrs which is within walking distance of where we are now. DH comes from London and wouldn't want to move.
DD on the other hand has moved 8 times since she left home including two other countries

My brother, sister and I have all moved several times as have all my children. The upside is variety, the downside is leaving friends behind.
I envy friends who have stayed here all their lives and have school friends they meet up with but I do enjoy living in different places.

I am definitely a home bird in the sense of liking to be 'at home'. I like going away and exploring but always want to come home after a week at least and it is weird how it smells of your home too isn't it?

I live away from where I was born. I never wanted to stay there but I do still feel a sense of belonging when I visit my relatives, none of whom moved away.

I live 6000 miles from my home town, and I have done plenty of travelling over the years, but I still class myself as a home bird, in the sense that I love being in my own home, wherever that happens to be. I enjoy my own company when DH is working, and I love being able to do my own thing, or simply 'potter' around at home. I also love having family and friends around, and much prefer spending time with them at home, enjoying family meals & BBQs, etc.

Some of my friends are constantly out and about, meeting up for coffee, lunch, dinner, or doing some activity or another. They never seem to be at home, and that's fine. I do enjoy going out sometimes, but I just love to spend time at home.

Each to their own. We're all different, and it wouldn't do for us all to be the same.

Absolutely fine to be a homebird. My immediate family never have been, with my DM living abroad from 18 in a remote area. She and my DF led an exciting life. When she came home on leave she always remembers visiting his mother and sister who were homebirds and never once asked about what life was like for DPs. The sister never left the place she was born, nor did 4 of her 5 children nor 12 grandchildren. HOWEVER when she developed dementia they were near enough each other to make sure she was looked after in her own home in an intricate tagteam.

I agree with @Nansnet. Each to their own. Having roots has huge advantages and doesn't mean you're narrow minded (though there's another thread on here with a GM saying she wanted her daughter to marry a LOCAL lad, worth a read). And travelling lots and living abroad is exciting, but there are plenty of narrow minded people who do that, too.

I live in a small town and love it. I grew up in a bigger town 12 miles away. My dh was born in this small town. I like it that when he goes out he knows just about everyone. I’ve been here 16 years and now know so many people. From chatting in the hairdresser etc. Went local when I can for everything and thus got to know folk.
Does this make us boring. I certainly hope not. During my 20s I traveled and worked abroad. My dh was in the forces and then the police. We have had many fabulous holidays abroad and seen great places from the beautiful Silent City in Malta to the sad concentration camps in the Czech Republic. We have enough stories of fun, mishaps, adventures to last our lifetime.
We are now comfortable and cosy, we enjoy company. We don’t travel just so far nowadays.
We are definitely not boring.

Friends?

Each to their own (way of life) comes to mind.

No need to mock people's differences.

Sometimes I'm a sparrow - others a house-martin.

I just think that those who don’t wander far from home are missing so much. Different areas bring different views etc. There is nothing wrong with staying where your roots are, but it’s a big, lively, diverse world out there and only one life to see and experience it all.

I agree with you Lillie

i thought a home bird was soemone who didnt want to go out to parties or join in outside activities
someone who likes to potter within the confines of their house

Well I've only moved about 4 miles from where I was brought up. I don't like travelling either, but I'm a fun person.
I'm out socialising several times a week and having fun, but I do love my home too.
I don't judge others who enjoy different things and I really don't care if they judge me.

Home bird would cover most farmers’ wives. Many don’t even go on holidays because they can’t. Some live on their farms which they inherited from their parents and then pass on to their children. Wonderful, especially those gorgeous areas that are isolated and stunning to look at.

We're all different some people look at the hills and admire the views others wonder whats on the other side and go find out, there's nothing wrong with either

I have moved a few times but only in local areas.
Would love to move to suffolk but too old to go through all that selling system. Bad enough last time.

Framilode

We live in a village where quite a few families have lived for generations. Their extended families also tend to live in the same village. To me they seem some of the most contented people I have met and I envy them. They have roots, friends they have had since childhood and a real sense of place.

I think that's great so long as there isn't hostility to others who come into that community from the Great Elsewhere.