Gransnet forums

AIBU

To think there is nothing wrong with being a 'home bird'

(68 Posts)
Beswitched Sat 28-Aug-21 09:32:16

I've just heard this term being used in quite a derogatory way about a woman who has always lived in or around the village where she grew up.
I know several people who have done this and most of them are very involved in their communities, have lots of friends who go way back and generally seem very happy with their lives.
Yet I've often heard people talk in a slightly disapproving way of adults who've never felt a desire to move far away from their roots. Why I wonder?

greenlady102 Wed 01-Sep-21 11:18:41

the problem is with the judgey person.....

Gwenisgreat1 Wed 01-Sep-21 11:29:22

I suppose I have moved around the UK most of my life, but sometimes I do wish I had roots!!

KnittingAnnie Wed 01-Sep-21 11:31:32

I am envious of someone who could be called a homebird. The longest I have ever lived anywhere is 10 years and I long to put down roots, but I have never found the right place. At 66 I fear it's getting a bit late! I'm still looking for that elusive place.

Alioop Wed 01-Sep-21 11:31:58

I moved to England for 10 years, moved about a lot with my ex husbands job and then came back to N.Ireland to the town where I grew up. A silly neighbour who lived next to my parents was was boasting to my friend and I about her far flung holidays, cruises, etc and turned to me saying that I hadn't done my very much with my life only going to the Med for holidays and I'm just stuck in my ways. This is a woman who has lived in the same house for 55 years, think she had a bit of a cheek.

Moggycuddler Wed 01-Sep-21 11:36:32

I am definitely a homebird, since I got older. Was more adventurous when I was young.

DanniRae Wed 01-Sep-21 11:39:29

christine96777

We're all different some people look at the hills and admire the views others wonder whats on the other side and go find out, there's nothing wrong with either

Very well put Christine! smile

nannypiano Wed 01-Sep-21 12:04:29

As I've got older I have been happier at home alone. I have plenty of things to keep me occupied. Lockdowns didn't affect my life, apart from not being able to see my family occasionally, but kept in touch in other ways. Have decided I am definitely an introvert.

Daisend1 Wed 01-Sep-21 12:16:28

Beswitched
Well may you ask ?? because they have nothing better to do in their, what most surely be boring, unimaginative lives or they would be out there getting on with it, not poking their nose in others.

jaylucy Wed 01-Sep-21 12:17:12

Us homebirds are very much a dying breed, so don't knock it!
For my parents generation, it was okay to grow up in, work and live most if not your whole life in one village or town - there was everything that was needed, jobs,schools, shops and other businesses,churches, a GP and even a library, pubs and entertainment. In fact even as a child the only reason some needed to leave the village , apart from the occasional shopping trip to the nearest town, was to go to the dentist or hospital!
Even though I went to school in the nearest town from the age of 11 and spent a few years overseas when I was married, I still returned home to my village - third generation that has lived here.
It wasn't until one of my aunts died a couple of years ago, that my brother informed me that I was the last one of my family left!
I can only count on the fingers of one hand that are in the same situation.

Happysexagenarian Wed 01-Sep-21 12:29:34

I suppose I'm a homebird. In my youth I would have liked to travel and see more of the world but couldn't afford it. Now, of course, it's possible to see the world from the comfort of your armchair.

I have travelled to a few interesting places around the UK, though I never really enjoyed the actual travelling 'to and from' places and all the planning and packing, tiring and frustrating. And the thought of enduring over-crowded airports and flight cancellations makes me shudder!

I've often been called unadventurous, even boring. But I'm very happy being a homebird whether on my own or with the family around me. Our children also still live in or very near the area they were born.

Since moving to our present home (over 100 miles from where we lived for nearly 60 years) we have met people who have lived in the village (and sometimes the same house) all their lives, and never travelled more than 7 miles from here.

We met one lady of 97 living on the west side of the island who had never been to the east side (about 24 miles) nor even the main town. She had everything she needed within her village, and the very idea of crossing to the mainland horrified her! But as we chatted at least five people spoke to her by name, asked how she was or if she needed any shopping delivered, and I thought how nice that was and it rarely happens in busy towns.

Nothing wrong at all with being content with your home and surroundings.

Larsonsmum Wed 01-Sep-21 13:02:50

I love going out, and meeting people, but I can also spend days and days at home and in my garden. If that makes me a 'home bird' that's fine by me.

DanniRae Wed 01-Sep-21 15:35:29

I enjoy going out, especially if it's to see my family, but I am never happier than when I am home smile

coastalgran Wed 01-Sep-21 19:07:24

I have moved around the world a fair bit but when I settled into a home I was always quite glad to stay within the village or community I lived in. Now I live on the coast in a lovely little community and shop locally, go to local events and enjoy it all. Given the situation we are in at the moment maybe being a home bird is a wise move.

MissAdventure Wed 01-Sep-21 19:12:32

I recently met an 85 year old who told me he has been to 87 countries.
"I can't remember any of them" he said smile

It's fine to be whatever you want.

Jackiest Wed 01-Sep-21 20:02:52

I have lived here in this village for over 40 years and been on many groups and organisations within the village. So that may qualify me as a Home Bird. But I have also travelled round a lot of the world. Not just to see the sights but also to meet and understand the people. This enables me to see things from their point of view and to look back at where I live from their viewpoint, and it is not always a pretty sight.

Grandma70s Wed 01-Sep-21 20:54:59

I think it’s important to move away from home, even if you then return later. I went to my local university, still living with my parents, but then I got a postgraduate scholarship to London University. I was quite daunted at the prospect, but those years in London were among the best of my life, and opened my eyes to so many things I would never have experienced if I’d stayed in my home town.

When my children were applying to university, I more or less told them they must go away. One would never have stayed anyway, but my elder boy had to be pushed a bit. I feel it was an important step in their growing up.

I think I was influenced by my mother, who had grown up in a Lancashire village where, she said, getting engaged was the most important thing. She then went to university in Liverpool, which opened her eyes and expanded her life the way London did for me.

So in my case and that of my family, I feel that moving away from home is enriching and staying in one place would be stultifying. I accept that some people don’t agree, and I think it’s best for children not to move about too much. It’s something to do when you are becoming independent.

Yammy Thu 02-Sep-21 10:12:06

I always thought a home bird was someone who enjoyed their own home and all that it entailed, where ever that home was. I have lived in a number of cities and places, though I think people would have considered me a home bird making my nest comfortable wherever I was.
I never thought of it as a derogatory term like the last city I lived in which was known by lots as "The elephant's graveyard".
No desire whatsoever to see or live in the rest of the U.K.