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AIBU

To think there is nothing wrong with being a 'home bird'

(67 Posts)
Beswitched Sat 28-Aug-21 09:32:16

I've just heard this term being used in quite a derogatory way about a woman who has always lived in or around the village where she grew up.
I know several people who have done this and most of them are very involved in their communities, have lots of friends who go way back and generally seem very happy with their lives.
Yet I've often heard people talk in a slightly disapproving way of adults who've never felt a desire to move far away from their roots. Why I wonder?

Blondiescot Sat 28-Aug-21 09:34:35

I know what you mean, and I personally don't see anything derogatory about it. Just because someone is a 'home bird' doesn't mean they've not necessarily led an adventurous or fulfilling life. I still live in the family home I grew up in - now my grandson is here, it's the fourth generation of our family to live here. My husband is also from my home village - does that make us dull and boring? I don't think it does...

Peasblossom Sat 28-Aug-21 09:38:01

Because some people want others to live the way they live and think the way they do. They haven’t quite managed to see the world through any eyes except their own.

But then the home birds are often quite disparaging about people who like to travel😬

dragonfly46 Sat 28-Aug-21 09:41:21

I am very envious of those who have lived in the same area all their lives. I have travelled around a lot moving from place to place. The consequence is that my friends and family are scattered.

Blossoming Sat 28-Aug-21 09:44:46

Nothing wrong with it at all. Must be lovely to be firmly rooted in a community.

Framilode Sat 28-Aug-21 09:47:22

We live in a village where quite a few families have lived for generations. Their extended families also tend to live in the same village. To me they seem some of the most contented people I have met and I envy them. They have roots, friends they have had since childhood and a real sense of place.

Lillie Sat 28-Aug-21 10:02:52

i thought a home bird was soemone who didnt want to go out to parties or join in outside activities
someone who likes to potter within the confines of their house

GrannyGravy13 Sat 28-Aug-21 10:04:19

My parents moved to the commuter village when I was 14, they moved abroad with my sister some years later. For the last 50 years I have had a home here despite travelling the world, working abroad etc. Parents moved back just down the road (now deceased)

I see friends from school out and about, their children went to school with our children and now it’s our grandchildren at the same school, three of our children live here. I like the feeling of continuity.

So yes I am a home bird but one that likes to spread her wings in the knowledge that my nest is waiting for me when I return.

Mollygo Sat 28-Aug-21 10:06:47

I’ve enjoyed travelling, but I’d love to be a home bird and live nearer my sisters who are home birds. FaceTime and WhatsApp has made it easier, but they meet up more than I can. sad

timetogo2016 Sat 28-Aug-21 10:09:02

Live and let live i say.

henetha Sat 28-Aug-21 10:11:56

Absolutely nothing wrong with preferring to be at home.
Everyone should live how they feel comfortable with.

CafeAuLait Sat 28-Aug-21 10:31:37

There is nothing wrong with being a home bird - either definition.

Galaxy Sat 28-Aug-21 10:35:41

Peasblossom is spot on, we often find it difficult to understand that people think differently to ourselves. We should all be watchful of this. During lockdown I found it quite difficult to understand some of my colleagues who couldnt cope with not being able to go into the office, I found some empathy by imagining if we had a pandemic that necessitated me going clubbing every night.

CafeAuLait Sat 28-Aug-21 11:11:40

I think in that kind of pandemic, I would just take the risk rather than going clubbing every night Galaxy!

grannyactivist Sat 28-Aug-21 11:17:11

I have a dear friend whose daughter has married into my family so I’ve been working on her family tree. The family has lived in the town for generations and in the local area since the 1500s. They are not alone, there are many similar ‘local’ families and they’re a wonderful repository of local knowledge.

Rosycheeks Sun 29-Aug-21 05:41:01

I have a friend who has always lived in her home town and she knows everybody. I went out shopping with her once and it took ages as she stopped to talk to everybody she knew. She has moved out now but still works and looks after her uncle in her home town. I was quite envious of her as I wouldnt know anyone from where I grew up.

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 29-Aug-21 07:05:00

I moved away from home over 40 years ago and would be delighted to move back, but DD2 lives close by , so no chance.
I keep up with old friends and family on FB but I wish I could just pop round to see them in person.
I have a cousin who moved 1 mile away from her childhood home and is still there, never been abroad and never wanted to learn to drive, I don’t understand that, but each to his or her own.

Lincslass Sun 29-Aug-21 07:39:05

GrannyGravy13

My parents moved to the commuter village when I was 14, they moved abroad with my sister some years later. For the last 50 years I have had a home here despite travelling the world, working abroad etc. Parents moved back just down the road (now deceased)

I see friends from school out and about, their children went to school with our children and now it’s our grandchildren at the same school, three of our children live here. I like the feeling of continuity.

So yes I am a home bird but one that likes to spread her wings in the knowledge that my nest is waiting for me when I return.

That is lovely, and just how I look at it. Have lived in a few places, overseas, and travelled extensively. Have my nest to come back to in the area I grew up in. Best of both worlds.

DillytheGardener Sun 29-Aug-21 07:55:36

I live a few streets from the house I grew up in and my husband is the same. Both our families have lived in the area for generations along with most of our neighbours. I always thought ds2 would do the same, but he moved to Canada, but I don’t underestimate the pull of home and that he might be drawn back to live here when he buys a house. Ds1 however I can’t imagine returning to the area. I know he found the area where we live dull. I don’t think so though, my friends all live close by and there is always someone happening, bbq’s, parties and the like.

Sparklefizz Sun 29-Aug-21 08:10:52

I am very envious of those who have lived in the same area all their lives. I have travelled around a lot moving from place to place. The consequence is that my friends and family are scattered.

Me too.

Silverbridge Sun 29-Aug-21 09:38:01

Beswitiched. Whoever said that is using the term wrongly.

The Oxford English Dictionary definition of a homebird is a domestic bird as opposed to one who migrates; (chiefly figurative) a person who prefers staying at home to going out or travelling.

It isn’t to do with moving away and not coming back because we know migratory birds come back to the same place.

It’s a house sparrow versus a house martin.

The most recent definition in he OED is:

1994 J. Kelman How Late it Was He wasnay a homebird. He wasnay used to it. So he liked going out, he liked the pub, no just for the bevy, he liked the crack as well.

To me it’s someone who is more comfortable staying home to watch a film on television than going out to the cinema or someone would would rather eat at home than go to a restaurant. Recent circumstances made everyone homebirds.

I think we are all homebirds at heart even the most enthustiastic and adventurous traveller.

Shropshirelass Sun 29-Aug-21 09:48:14

I am a home bird now after travelling extensively both in the UK and USA, I am back where my families roots are but all of the family is now spread about, UK and worldwide! I am enjoying being at home and enjoy some socialisation when I chose to.

halfpint1 Sun 29-Aug-21 09:51:01

I remarked to a friend how much I missed living there, she replied,
'you miss the way it was, it's not like that now'

Rosycheeks Sun 29-Aug-21 09:51:56

Well Silverbridge after your description I too am an homebird I love being in my home.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 29-Aug-21 10:00:55

That's what I thought Lillie and we're all different, aren't we? Some of us are happy at home and there's nothing wrong with that. I suppose it depends on whether you can amuse yourself with hobbies etc or not. Those who can't must find fulfilment elsewhere.