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AIBU

Car cross over blocked with bin

(81 Posts)
Dilemma Wed 01-Sep-21 14:37:28

My neighbour and I have ajoining steep drives with a shared crossover and dropped kerb across both of them. My husband uses a wheelchair so I park on our front garden, parallel to the road, with the passenger door opening onto the level pavement to make transferring him safer and easier. The easiest way to park the car in this position is to cross the pavement at an angle, using "her" half of the dropped kerb.

My neighbour has called round some months ago to tell me not to drive on "her" property and to inquire if I have a driving licence(!). I explained about my husband and the wheelchair and that the crossover belonged to the council. She said she would check this with the council. Fast forward a few weeks and she now places a wheelie bin on the edge of the dropped kerb if she anticipates we might be going out.

Today, I was pleasantly surprised that there was no bin when we left to go out for lunch; as I was transferring my husband she arrived home, went inside and came out immediately with a bin. She stayed in the garden doing some dead-heading until I had manoeuvred onto the road. The bin was still there on our return but she will take it in before her son comes home this evening.

We are about to apply for planning permission for a sizeable extension so do not want to antagonise her further. I keep out of her way and record the times the bin is put out on non collection days. Council advice is that bins should only be on the pavement on collection days, so I may take it up with them after our planning permission is granted. Fortunately, we will not require a party wall agreement on her side.

AIBU to resent my neighbour making access to my property awkward?

Shinamae Wed 01-Sep-21 14:43:43

No you are not, I would say that she is!

Jaxjacky Wed 01-Sep-21 14:49:49

I’d move my bin on there before her son comes home 🙂🙂

FarNorth Wed 01-Sep-21 15:40:12

Of course YANBU

Grannybags Wed 01-Sep-21 15:48:34

Some people are so petty! YANBU

Dilemma Wed 01-Sep-21 16:17:18

Thank you!

Jaxjacky - her bin now removed & I will not be putting ours out as that would lower me to her level & put me in the wrong with the council. Just wait until we have our planning permission.........

Jaxjacky Wed 01-Sep-21 16:20:36

I was, of course, joking, hence smiley faces!

Sara1954 Wed 01-Sep-21 16:21:09

She sounds like a really nasty small minded cow.

Ladyleftfieldlover Wed 01-Sep-21 16:26:52

What a ridiculous, small minded and mean neighbour you have! I think I would move.

AGAA4 Wed 01-Sep-21 16:30:45

What an insensitive woman. How is this harming her? It's not as though you are blocking her access if you are just driving in and out.

Oopsadaisy1 Wed 01-Sep-21 17:12:15

TBH if it was me I would get out of the car and move her bin out of your way, depending on how pi***d off I was I may or may not put it back in its place. However, we live in the real world and not the one in my head so……
Is there no way you can pull up and onto your own garden and build something permanent to help the wheelchair access?

JaneJudge Wed 01-Sep-21 17:16:10

she sounds incredibly petty and hard hearted
well done for ranting here and not to her face!

Auntieflo Wed 01-Sep-21 17:21:12

Can you not get the council to give you a designated, marked 'Disabled' bay, outside your property.
Or is the drive too steep for your husband to negotiate?

sodapop Wed 01-Sep-21 17:25:15

I agree JaneJudge unbelievable how small minded some people are.
Good idea from Auntieflo if it's possible Dilemma.

eazybee Wed 01-Sep-21 18:08:12

What very odd behaviour.
You are very wise in doing nothing until you have your planning permission, but keep records of her bin-placing activities with photographs.
Would she be able to object to access for building materials when/if the extension commences?

NfkDumpling Wed 01-Sep-21 18:28:04

I hope you've dropped it into conversations with neighbours at every opportunity.

She obviously leads a very boring life if she has nothing else to worry about. Just move the bin to the centre if her drive out if your way. The crossover is neutral territory and belongs to both of you.

MerylStreep Wed 01-Sep-21 18:36:44

I would be getting together written and, if possible, video evidence of their pettiness because there’s every possibility that they will object to your planning permission.
Then you can appeal and show evidence of their attitude towards you.

Mattsmum2 Wed 01-Sep-21 18:44:20

I find doing nothing is best, if you feel that too. Bullies generally want a reaction. My reaction would be just to laugh it off and shrug my shoulders.

This is of course assuming you are able to get your husband in the car comfortably.

Humanity and how some people react to situations puzzles me all the time. It costs nothing to be kind and they say those that are kind feel so much more positive too.

Hope you get all you need for a comfortable life x

Aldom Wed 01-Sep-21 18:46:19

You certainly are not being unreasonable. Your neighbour is. How small minded of her. Most unkind. Doing wheelchair transfers is tiring, I know because I used to do it for my husband. You don't need this upsetting situation with a neighbour. We all have choices where our behaviour is concerned. How sad that she has chosen to obstruct rather than assist you. I hope you have some positive input from the council. flowers

maydonoz Wed 01-Sep-21 19:07:41

Hi Dilemma
No, YANBU towards your neighbour.
How mean-spirited and unhelpful of her in her attitude and behaviour to you and your DH.
I am not familiar with the term crossover but am assuming it is like a shared drive.
I suppose it's best not to antagonize her in case she objects to your extension.
Good luck and hope it works out for you.
The old idiom " what goes around comes around" could apply here, one day she may need your cooperation just as she should be showing you now.

Katie59 Wed 01-Sep-21 20:06:56

You can be sure she will object to you planning application but you just have to go through the hassle, if it’s a sensible extension the planners will ignore her objection, it’s a good idea to ask the council what might be acceptable.

Otherwise be nice to everybody, if your ward member objects that will cause difficulties.

May7 Wed 01-Sep-21 20:09:18

Mattsmum2 that's become my way of thinking too these past few years. Dont react, dont gossip with the neighbours, they will have noticed anyway. Ignore the bad behaviour. Her shame not yours but no YANBU
Good luck with your planning permission but don't be surprised if she objects as this type of person usually will.

May7 Wed 01-Sep-21 20:10:49

Sorry pressed send too soon...but that doesnt mean your planning permission will fail

Hellogirl1 Wed 01-Sep-21 21:52:46

This is what our neighbour did to stop anyone parking outside his house. It was soon removed after I called the Highways dept.

Spinnaker Wed 01-Sep-21 22:07:20

Even if she objects to the planning application it doesn't necessarily mean it will be turned down. As long as your application meets the criteria set/ticks all the boxes then the Council have to approve it.

As the crossover is neutral ground then I'd be shifting her bin at every opportunity, the miserable mare !!