Bullies why did you do it

Nope!

Ladies spinster is such an old fashioned word.

If it's used to describe a person does that make it derogatory? I don't know how it was meant here?

If I were to say an overweight woman abused me, would that description not be necessary to how easily they were able to overpower me?

Who cares if people get married or not these days really. I'd not use that word to describe people any more. Some people are just happier single. Some aren't and are lonely and bitter about it or I guess, or too horrible of a person to have kept a relationship.

I just don't think this is worth a big fallout.

Feel free to ignore me and carry on lol

You're such a spoilsport VioletSky

CafeAuLait

I think that most school bullies have no idea they were bullies. I think they are probably oblivious to their behaviour.

I think you are right. My DD was terribly bullied at school, she came home for Christmas one year and went out with some old friends. In a local pub one of the bullies came over to her and started chatting like they were old friends. DD didn't react, listened and then turned and walked away. I'm sure the bully couldn't figure out why she was being so unfriendly.

DD said it was so weird, this girl had never said a nice word to her at school and suddenly she's talking like they were close friends. Bizarre.

Beswitched She was a vile, sadistic spinster.

She was tickingbird. Sorry, I shouldn't have answered as I did in my last post. It's much too serious to be lighthearted at all. It must have been awful for you. A little girl stood in the corner shaking, after being beaten. Unpardonable. What a monster.

It's staggering isn't it tickingbird that when an adult, who is supposed to be taking care of a young child, loses complete and utter control of herself by beating her, shaking her like a rag doll and instilling such terror into her that the child remembers it more than 50 years later, the only thing that some posters fixate on is it's not nice to call her a spinster. They're pathetic and are best ignored. And you have both my sympathy and admiration for having overcome the cruelty of A VILE SADISTIC SPINSTER.

I'm so sorry tickingbird that this terrible woman has hurt you in such a vile and callous rage. It's a wonder she didn't leave lasting physical damage let alone leave you with such severe mental scars. I hope by telling us your story that you have felt a little relief however slight.

Exactly the point I made in my original post Chewbacca.

This woman who is called a bully sounds seriously like a woman having a nervous breakdown, having reached the end of her tether and lost control.

Thank you Chewbacca, Sweetpeasue and nadateturbe. It’s heartening to know some understand my frustration. As you say Chewbacca, best ignored so I won’t respond to anymore of it.

I don’t believe she was having a breakdown eazybee. She was nasty and mean spirited. There were other incidents that were equally bad that didn’t involve physical punishment. She would never get away with it today, thank goodness.

There is never any justification or excuse for physically attacking a child.

Despite everything we have learned people still think physically punishing a child is ok.

Physical punishment isn't about the child though its about the person doing the hitting and their anger.

It is not OK to go hit an adult because we are angry so why would it ever be OK to hit a child? I'll never understand that logic.

I've been shouted down in many arguments on this one: "my parents beat me is a child and I turned out OK". Well no, you didn't turn out OK because you think hitting children is fine.

tickingbird

Beswitched She was a vile, sadistic spinster.

She was a vile sadistic WOMAN.

What a terrible experience tickingbird. Some people should never be allowed near children and this woman was one of them.

I find it hard to believe having read about your traumatic experience that you've been picked up for using the word "spinster". It means an unmarried woman, usually a woman past the age for marriage; don't know what's derogatory about that.

The word spinster is often still used today when the banns of a forthcoming marriage are being read out; "bachelor and spinster of this parish".

I wonder how many children suffered at the hands of this horrible woman, a woman in authority and a position of trust.

An image of a child standing with their face to the wall, leg shaking and in total confusion as to what they'd done wrong is haunting.

My DD2 was bullied at primary school by 2 girls. School put in mentors but that just drove it to a corner of the playground.
I told her next time they hurt you smack them hard once across the face open handed smack. That ended it thankfully.
Same happened on school bus with a boy grabbing her bag and throwing it. She punched him several times in the face. No further problems.
Friend's daughter was whipped with a skipping rope several times at primary. She waited till they walked away and kicked the girl in the back of her knees causing the bully to fall hard on the concrete playground. That ended it too.
Sadly if mentoring and talking doesn't work the only solution is to hit back.

I was bullied when I left school. So much so that I had a nervous breakdown at 18 and ever since have been agoraphobic. I am now 77 and still struggle. For years I could not go out. I have a lovely doctor though, and with meds am able to go out shopping and in small groups. Hard to believe what bullying can do. It can ruin so many lives. To anyone who is bullied please don’t keep it secret. Tell someone. I wish I had.

It is as you say "hard to believe what bullying can do" Poppyjo. To have had you life marred by the experience is just awful and requires great courage and strength to seek help.

Now being able to go out shopping and in small groups is a huge achievement. Well done.

Poppyjo yes, what Smileless said. Have you been able to see a counsellor? It sounds like CBT may be able to help you even further

Very astute observations Nannagarra on thé behaviour of bullies seeking attention and covering their tracks. Bullying is a trait of narcissists.

When I began at secondary school (1950s) a bigger older boy used to bully my friends and I - he would kick, punch and pinch us and pull our hair. The boys were supposed to stay in their own part of the schoolyard but this was not enforced.

When I whinged to my parents my father said I would have to stand up for myself and taught me how to box. He said next time that boy bullies you go straight for the nose. I did this and broke it! The blood went everywhere.

I was taken off to a classroom on my own and my form teacher told me that I was in a lot of trouble for "attacking" another pupil. I told her I had acted in self defence and simply lashed out. I wisely made no mention of the boxing lessons or of deliberately hitting the boy in the nose. I pointed out that he was older, bigger and had been bullying the grls for months. To do her credit the teacher asked the other girls in the class and took down several supporting statements from them of how he had been tormenting us for months. When the boy's parents threatened legal action the school threatened a counter charge. The boy never returned to school. How can a boy who had been beaten by a girl ever show his face again? He had lost face.

After that if anyone tried to bully me I reminded them I was the girl who had broken Graham B's nose and asked them if they "wanted some".

Good for you biglouise.