AIBU to feel really offended by this?

Callistemon wrote: Perhaps some people may think the best way to integrate is to separate people and send them all over the country, but personally I would think that their shared experiences and supporting each other in groups would be a comfort, at least for the foreseeable future. I agree.

By coincidence I have just received a report into War Widows and their experiences of traumatic bereavement. One of the findings of the study is that there is a need for bereaved family members to access peer support and speak with someone who went through similar experiences. In the case of war widows they are usually dealing with a single traumatic bereavement, some refugees are dealing with multiple bereavements alongside the constant awareness that friends and relatives are in constant danger of death and torture.

Lucca

Some people are far too quick to take the odd sentence and extrapolate to something it isn’t !!

Sorry, if you mean me then yes, I did take one sentence (although I read the whole article) and yes, I do think that is a major concern.

Perhaps some people may think the best way to integrate is to separate people and send them all over the country, but personally I would think that their shared experiences and supporting each other in groups would be a comfort, at least for the foreseeable future.

Thanks Granny Activist for your informative post and for giving us hope that all is not lost?

Dear God you should hear some of the things I complain about.

So he is concerned about his job prospects, his families security and how his family will survive without any access to money..... yes what an ungrateful swine.

Just out of curiosity. How annoyed were you when the UK Gov funded the terrorist association that has put this innocent man and his family through this horror?

Callistemon

sazz1 it is not just refugees who are not allowed to work in the professions in which they qualified.
A relative who came here from Australia was unable to work here as a medical professional without taking a further degree and passing an examination in the English language (all at her own expense).

Afraid they do the same in Australia, and in Germany. Not sure about taking another Degree though, creditation ? but yes a friend also had to take an English test in Australia, at her own expense, before she could work.

Great post, GA.

OP before deciding whether to be offended, consider that the man’s life (and those of his family) was at risk because he had been working for the UK, so his resettlement here wasn’t a favour, but the repayment of a debt.

His life has been uprooted and moved thousands of miles as a result of his working for the British Army, which has also left Afghanistan.

Do you think he should have no right to comment on his experiences? Even if he was complaining (which I don’t think he was), he would be within his rights to do so, IMO.

It's really helpful GA thankyou.

GA, your contribution here is thoroughly moving, practical, informed and enlightening. Thank you for taking the time and being so tolerant of those of us who have much less in- depth knowledge and experience.

Some people are far too quick to take the odd sentence and extrapolate to something it isn’t !!

I saw him interviewed a few weeks ago on the television, he just seemed to want to work so he could support his family and there was absolutely nothing offensive about him at all!

Grannyactivist that is a very good post

Excellent , knowledgeable post GA, thank you.

Wow! It is my strongly held view that yes, you are being unreasonable and I’ll tell you why I think that.

I read the article and am impressed with the clarity with which it’s written and have enough empathy and imagination to identify with many of the points he raises.

I lead a homelessness charity so I am in a better position than most to comment on the problems that successive GOVERNMENT CUTS have wrought upon people in this country who are poor, marginalised and homeless (and I include the working poor in that description). I work with them every single day. And I am sick to death of the comparisons made with refugees. It is not a case of shall we help this group or that - we honestly can help both!

I have a son-in-law who was killed in Afghanistan and I spent the two years after he died educating myself about the country and its people and culture. I also took in Afghan refugees who were so traumatised by what they had experienced that I used to cry to think of what they’ve been through. They have family who are, even as I write, being hunted down to be killed in Panjshir; a brother-in-law of theirs was killed last week. This is the daily burden of those who have escaped; the constant worry for those left behind. One way of dealing with trauma is to focus on other things; like how you feed your children if you can’t get a job, or how you help your children to settle if you’re moved away from people who have shared some of your traumatic experiences, as is the case being made in the article.

Today is the International Day of World Peace - and underlying that is a call for kindness, empathy and compassion. Do we really need to sow or amplify seeds of divisiveness today of all days?

I picked up on this point:

We’re the only family from our hotel being sent there.

Fleeing their country, being given refuge here but then being separated from anyone else who is in the same situation must make them feel even more anxious and lonely.
Councils are offering help but perhaps only taking one or two families in their area which means, however kind local people may be, they may feel isolated from others who have been through the same trauma.

It's quite clear who has read and understood the article and who just wants to take a pop at those nasty ungrateful refugees, isn't it?

I can’t believe how unsympathetic some people are. Imagine helping another country to keep peace, consequently being forced to leave your own country or be killed, leaving your parents and siblings behind, and then being placed hundreds of miles from the only other people from your homeland that you and your family know, and expected to be grateful for work as a pizza delivery driver. Welcome to the UK.

We have all read and heard much about the conditions these people were living under, and how terrified most Afghans were about remaining in a country run by the Taliban.
Interpreters were convinced they and their families would be killed if they remained in the country.
So desperate were some to leave that, as we saw on tv news programmes, some fell to their death hanging onto planes taking off from the airport.
Women and girls we are told are very much second class citizens, denied an education or the chance to work.

This then is the situation back in their country, so the fact that some are complaining about where in the UK they will live, simply beggars believe.

I agree with Sazz1

Really offended? Really?

The man will be in a state of panic. Their world has totally disintegrated. Three young children who have lost everything they know. They are in a foreign country and not knowing what they are doing or where they'll be going.

I didn't read the article in the same way as you must have done. I didn't see much moaning going on. He sounded grateful. He also sounded worried. Which I think we all would be in his shoes.

I'm grateful you posted about this as I'd been wondering how the refugees have been coping since they arrived.

sazz1: 'he shouldn't be moaning about his life and presumed prospects here after just a few weeks' - perhaps he's just trying to fit in with British culture? After all, we're a nation of complainers!

Surely initially he should be grateful he got out and be thinking about for poor people in danger that are left behind.

It is early days, he has food and shelter so should not expect to run before he can walk.

I agree with the OP if homes can be found for him why can't they be found for our homeless and more help be given to ex-servicemen?

This is going well, isn't it?

OP, YABU

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Sounds like a case of “damned if they do and damned if the don’t ”
If they can’t work , if skills and qualifications are ignored, they are in danger of being accused of sponging off the society which took them in. The sooner they can work/earn/support their families/pay their taxes/contribute to the economy, the sooner they can integrate and show their gratitude for their asylum in this country in a meaningful way.
There is a huge difference between political refugees and economic refugees who seek a better standard of living and are unlikely to be highly qualified.
The Afghan refugees may have come with nothing, but may equally have left a professional life behind them, comfortably off with high aspirations for their children.
I see no reason why anybody writing on this forum can justify feeling “offended”

sazz1 it is not just refugees who are not allowed to work in the professions in which they qualified.
A relative who came here from Australia was unable to work here as a medical professional without taking a further degree and passing an examination in the English language (all at her own expense).

Riverwalk

^These things take time though^

Indeed they do Lincslass , as they should, but from what I've read it takes an inordinate amount of time to process refugees, and in that time they are not even supposed to take on any work.

Such a waste of talent and resources that we could do with!

Yes I agree, they should be allowed to do some work, but not sure how it would work. Looking at how other countries handle this, as their is no obligation under the Refugee Convention to allow asylum seekers to work according to this
www.migrationwatchuk.org/briefing-paper/4.24?back=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fsearch%3Fclient%3Dsafari%26as_qdr%3Dall%26as_occt%3Dany%26safe%3Dactive%26as_q%3DWhich+country+allows+asylum+seekers+to+work+while+their+papers+are+being+processed%26channel%3Daplab%26source%3Da-app1%26hl%3Den