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Things I learnt too late in life

(101 Posts)
Sallywally1 Sun 07-Nov-21 17:02:35

Thread on mums net. Thought it might be interesting on here too! Any pearls?

Calmlocket Sun 07-Nov-21 17:09:29

When people offer you help dont be too proud and stubborn to accept.

welbeck Sun 07-Nov-21 17:12:07

speak up and don't let people patronise or disadvantage me.

BBbevan Sun 07-Nov-21 17:13:29

If you love someone you should tell them. You can’t tell them when they are dead.

Galaxy Sun 07-Nov-21 17:14:52

Be brave.
It's really good to say no smile

MercuryQueen Sun 07-Nov-21 17:18:57

That just b/c someone claims to love you doesn't mean they do. If someone loves you, it should feel that way.

Intention does not negate impact.

Family should treat you better than others, not worse.

Forgiveness does not equal reconciliation.

It's better to focus on what you have vs what you don't.

Other people's expectations do not equal your obligations.

'No' is a full sentence.

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

'Respect' and 'obey' are two completely different things.

You can't be everything to everyone. You won't be liked by everyone. But that's okay, b/c you don't like everyone anyway.

Listen to your gut.

nanasam Sun 07-Nov-21 17:25:30

Respect yourself

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 07-Nov-21 17:25:54

Stress is when your gut say no and your mouth says ,” I’d love to”

Don’t mistake flattery for respect.

AGAA4 Sun 07-Nov-21 17:27:34

Cherish those you love.
Be compassionate.
Be grateful.
Take time to look around and appreciate beauty.

Shelbel Sun 07-Nov-21 17:37:30

Maya Angelou said "when people show you who they are, believe them the first time". I wish I had read that and taken it on board years ago.

VioletSky Sun 07-Nov-21 17:46:00

That my mother didn't love me just because society thought she should and that there was nothing wrong with me, it was her.

I wish for the sake of my mental health I had estranged her the first chance I got and saved myself an awful lot of upset.

This has taught me so much about valuing the good people in my life instead of those who only worry about appearances or being right.

foxie48 Sun 07-Nov-21 17:47:53

Being kind makes me feel happier than being judgemental

Bridie22 Sun 07-Nov-21 17:50:00

That you will never ever truly know someone...even though you think you do !

joanna12 Sun 07-Nov-21 17:50:34

So agree VioletSky.x

Urmstongran Sun 07-Nov-21 17:55:56

Not to be impulsive.
I came unstuck financially. It was a hard lesson to learn.

adrisco Sun 07-Nov-21 18:16:47

It really does not matter what people think of you. I have wasted so much of my life trying to please all the people all the time!

Poppyred Sun 07-Nov-21 18:21:33

If you are born with common sense you are half way there!

Blondiescot Sun 07-Nov-21 18:24:39

VioletSky

That my mother didn't love me just because society thought she should and that there was nothing wrong with me, it was her.

I wish for the sake of my mental health I had estranged her the first chance I got and saved myself an awful lot of upset.

This has taught me so much about valuing the good people in my life instead of those who only worry about appearances or being right.

You and me both!

Yammy Sun 07-Nov-21 18:28:57

No is a very difficult word.
Never give an explanation of why you have said it or an alternative.
Never let yourself be treated differently to the men in the same position as you either by action or salary.
State what you can do in a given time and give it your best.
Enjoy your children they soon grow up.
Phone and talk to people even if e mailing would be easier and less confrontational.
Don't take unconditional love for granted.

kittylester Sun 07-Nov-21 18:34:34

People probably like you more than you think they do and that you are actually quite a nice person.

(I had one of those mother's too)

allsortsofbags Sun 07-Nov-21 18:47:34

I wish I'd known sooner the difference between being "Useful" to others and being "Valuable" by them.

Being "Useful" is OK in lots of situations/relationships but only being "Useful" in some situations/relationships may indicate you are being 'Used" and not valued.

Hithere Sun 07-Nov-21 19:06:31

Do not be afraid to be "rude" if your instincts tell you otherwise

Jaxjacky Sun 07-Nov-21 19:36:04

Cherish those who love you.

Calmlocket Sun 07-Nov-21 19:41:06

I just remembered what my dad used to say, "Never feel that you have a duty to someone because they have done something for you"

timetogo2016 Sun 07-Nov-21 19:45:39

Your dad was very wise Calmlocket.
What a great saying.