No response for Birthday gift

As others have said, I think you are expecting too much from your DIL.

She works - her day is not her own for the most part - and she will possibly have received numerous other text messages apart from your email. She will also have other commitments when she gets home from work.

I don't think some people understand that it's not always possible to stop what you are doing and respond immediately to an email or text message. Especially if you are at work.

My DIL is very slow at responding over the 'net... but I know she is busy, and don't hold it against her or think that she's uncaring / not bothering / ungrateful... she's just busy. There are only so many hours in the day, and sometimes, they're just not enough!

I'd give her time to actually look at the email! Sometimes thank yous once the gift has been looked at and enjoyed are much more genuine than the obligatory 'you gave me a gift so I must say thank you straight away' kind of thank yous!

Iff she doesn't get in touch I would ask tomorrow if she received it. It's annoying when you're thoughtful and people don't respond as you expect.

Nanny2020

Thanks so much ladies for your straightforward practical responses. All your perspectives are so helpful ! ( and Enid mage me laugh ?)

I’m glad I made you laugh! It was a tongue in cheek response but sometimes humour helps.

Maybe she has a few thank you messages to send so is going to do them all after her birthday. I would say yes, you are being unreasonable expecting a thank you so quickly.

I don’t buy my adult offspring or their partners presents. They all have everything they want and if not can afford to buy it. There’s so much palava over presents, buying and receiving. My kids know not to get me anything and to give the money they might have spent to a charity . As for expecting a response and thanks that fast, yes IMO you are being impatient to put it mildly. Enid hit the nail on the head!!!

If you can’t bear the anxiety of not hearing from her, if you can’t bear not getting a quick acknowledgment and thanks, don’t do it again!!
If you feel compelled to do it again don’t spend so much, don’t expect a thank you & if you don’t get a response at all, let it go.
Lessons learned.

Thanks so much ladies for your straightforward practical responses. All your perspectives are so helpful ! ( and Enid mage me laugh ?)

We stopped buying presents for adults years ago. There was so much expectation round the whole process, it just became about obligation and duty. The whole act of the pleasure of giving was just lost.

Children are so different. They love everything, and there’s alway lots of hugs and kisses involved, rather than...” why did you get me that? You know I hate that colour!!”

Maybe she’s actually going to call today or even write a little note?

I do think you’re being unreasonable to expect her to check her personal emails and make a response on a workday. A lot of people have at least two, work and personal, and only check their personal every couple of days or so. Certainly not until the end of the day.

To be honest I think you’re a bit out of touch with how younger people use communication.

There`s no holding back your thoughts then Enid101,lol.

Ask her if she enjoyed her time at the spa,as you would love to give her the same next year if she had a nice experiance.

She works full time and may well have gone out in the evening to celebrate. You are being very unreasonable to expect a response on the same day.

Ohh Enid, that’s so funny, you are naughty ?

Give her a day or two and if you don't hear anything, text her saying you're making sure she received it. I know you know she has but that would be a tactful way of reminding her.

I sent my BiL a gift for his 80th birthday. I know it was delivered but have had no acknowledgement from him. I feel sorry for him because he is on his own, I just won’t be sending any more gifts.

Flipping heck she works full time and it’s her birthday. Let’s hope she spent the evening drinking champagne, eating cake and shagging your son rather than emailing you!

I don’t mean to be unkind ,but you are making this all about you .
Understandable you feel disappointed because you didn’t get the response you wanted/expected.
Perhaps better not to invest so much emotion into your kind thoughts & gifts in the future , best wishes .

I feel your not giving her much chance to reply ,your sounding rather impatient, it’s her birthday so she’s most probably busy with other things she wants to be doing . I wouldn’t ask again , I’d leave it till next time I saw her and then mention if she liked your gift ? Leave her to enjoy her day .

Her birthday was yesterday and you expect grateful thanks on the same day? No pressure then! I think your expectations are too high. Give it a few days and then check with her that the email has arrived. If not, the Spa can reissue the voucher.

Give her time to reply.

How is your relationship with her? Is it a present she will enjoy?

I would personally be annoyed if receiving a present would hold me responsible to responding in a certain way and timeframes

In case of doubt, talk to your son, let him know she has a gift card for that spa so they can claim it.

Maybe she's celebrating - & very busy?

I'm sure she'll get back to you.

A bit impatient I think too, wait till tomorrow then ask your son if she liked her gift as you haven’t heard from her
When I never heard a dicky from one adult granddaughter I asked her dad if she had received her present, very soon after I got a thank you from her Didn’t mean the same but maybe she has a busier life than me I gave her the benefit of the doubt

I think you're being very impatient wanting a response on the same day. Give her time.
If she still doesn't respond then I would leave it and not mention it again.

Don't think you should mention it ever at all. Just don't send any more gifts if thanks bothers you that much. Or....you could buy something physical and hand it over in person? More effort but rather nice.