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No response for Birthday gift

(60 Posts)
Nanny2020 Sat 13-Nov-21 02:36:33

I’m just looking for suggestions on what to do about my birthday gift that I sent to my DIL .
First thing this morning I sent her a birthday text . She responded Thanks ! a few hours later . She does work full time . In the mean time I bought her a significant gift certificate from her local spa that they sent to her email ( that I confirmed with my son to be sure) and copied me . . I texted Check your email for a surprise! She texted what email ? I confirmed . And nothing further . It’s now late after work and no response . I know she received it . I feel irritated and would like some acknowledgment of the gift . How long would you give someone to respond before you say something to her or through my son ? Or would you feel it’s best to let it go ?
Thanks for your thoughts !

Lauren59 Sat 13-Nov-21 03:03:58

I would feel annoyed at the lack of response, but I would let it go. She will most likely text you soon and in any case you have a full year to decide whether she merits another birthday gift!

freedomfromthepast Sat 13-Nov-21 03:29:53

I would give someone 24 hours before expecting a response. She responded to your text, then spent the day at work. Maybe her husband had dinner or something else planned this evening.

I know you are anxious about her getting the email, but at least let her get through the day today.

Hetty58 Sat 13-Nov-21 03:31:40

Perhaps it's gone straight to her Junk folder - or maybe she'd rather you didn't buy her any presents. We only buy for children in our family.

Pinkarolina Sat 13-Nov-21 05:00:59

As you have a copy of the email you could forward it and then she will see it’s from you. You could also request a read report before you send it. As someone has already suggested she might not have time on her birthday to scour her junk mailbox. You can always ring your son the next day and ask him if she received it and if she liked it.

MercuryQueen Sat 13-Nov-21 05:04:12

How is your relationship with her? Does she normally respond quickly, or are things a bit distant?

Either way, please give her some time. She was at work when you first texted. A lot of workplaces don’t allow people to be on their personal phones unless on break. Chances are, she and your son had plans for after work to celebrate her birthday. If you haven’t heard in a week, I’d follow up to ensure it was received.

Ashcombe Sat 13-Nov-21 05:06:18

As others have said, it has very likely gone to her Junk folder. This happens regularly to me when in receipt of correspondence from an unfamiliar contact or when I’ve sent gift certificates electronically to others. Let’s hope that’s the explanation.

Nell8 Sat 13-Nov-21 05:54:44

If I haven't had confirmation I usually wait a day or so then send a message asking "Did your pressie arrive safely?" It seems a fair question and I don't think offence is caused.

Teacheranne Sat 13-Nov-21 06:37:43

How do you know she has received it? Or how does your son know she received it?

I know some email addresses allow you to get a “mail received” or “mail read” message but not all do and the recipient can change the settings to not send such messages.

CafeAuLait Sat 13-Nov-21 07:10:56

I don't think you're unreasonable to expect an acknowledgement. I do think you are unreasonable to expect an acknowledgement in such a short space of time. Maybe she's been busy at work all day, is really tired, has a headache, distracted by the needs of her family, cooking, etc, or someone dropped by or they went out to dinner. I'd give it 2-3 days before starting to think it's being dragged out a bit long at least.

Kim19 Sat 13-Nov-21 08:37:13

Don't think you should mention it ever at all. Just don't send any more gifts if thanks bothers you that much. could buy something physical and hand it over in person? More effort but rather nice.

Froglady Sat 13-Nov-21 08:46:53

I think you're being very impatient wanting a response on the same day. Give her time.
If she still doesn't respond then I would leave it and not mention it again.

BlueBelle Sat 13-Nov-21 08:52:59

A bit impatient I think too, wait till tomorrow then ask your son if she liked her gift as you haven’t heard from her
When I never heard a dicky from one adult granddaughter I asked her dad if she had received her present, very soon after I got a thank you from her Didn’t mean the same but maybe she has a busier life than me I gave her the benefit of the doubt

Ro60 Sat 13-Nov-21 08:53:30

Maybe she's celebrating - & very busy?

I'm sure she'll get back to you.

Hithere Sat 13-Nov-21 08:53:49

Give her time to reply.

How is your relationship with her? Is it a present she will enjoy?

I would personally be annoyed if receiving a present would hold me responsible to responding in a certain way and timeframes

In case of doubt, talk to your son, let him know she has a gift card for that spa so they can claim it.

Marmight Sat 13-Nov-21 09:02:16

Her birthday was yesterday and you expect grateful thanks on the same day? No pressure then! I think your expectations are too high. Give it a few days and then check with her that the email has arrived. If not, the Spa can reissue the voucher.

Dibbydod Sat 13-Nov-21 09:08:53

I feel your not giving her much chance to reply ,your sounding rather impatient, it’s her birthday so she’s most probably busy with other things she wants to be doing . I wouldn’t ask again , I’d leave it till next time I saw her and then mention if she liked your gift ? Leave her to enjoy her day .

Bridgeit Sat 13-Nov-21 09:14:46

I don’t mean to be unkind ,but you are making this all about you .
Understandable you feel disappointed because you didn’t get the response you wanted/expected.
Perhaps better not to invest so much emotion into your kind thoughts & gifts in the future , best wishes .

Enid101 Sat 13-Nov-21 09:17:32

Flipping heck she works full time and it’s her birthday. Let’s hope she spent the evening drinking champagne, eating cake and shagging your son rather than emailing you!

Humbertbear Sat 13-Nov-21 09:18:52

I sent my BiL a gift for his 80th birthday. I know it was delivered but have had no acknowledgement from him. I feel sorry for him because he is on his own, I just won’t be sending any more gifts.

Smileless2012 Sat 13-Nov-21 09:25:28

Give her a day or two and if you don't hear anything, text her saying you're making sure she received it. I know you know she has but that would be a tactful way of reminding her.

Bridgeit Sat 13-Nov-21 09:26:05

Ohh Enid, that’s so funny, you are naughty 😂

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 13-Nov-21 10:01:46

She works full time and may well have gone out in the evening to celebrate. You are being very unreasonable to expect a response on the same day.

timetogo2016 Sat 13-Nov-21 10:12:27

Ask her if she enjoyed her time at the spa,as you would love to give her the same next year if she had a nice experiance.

timetogo2016 Sat 13-Nov-21 10:13:56

There`s no holding back your thoughts then Enid101,lol.