Is he using porn sites?

As this poor chap seems to have been tried - and found guilty (hanged, even) - by all the above, here's a guide to email hackers/spammers:

Somebody you know gets hacked

Hackers harvest their email contacts info (including yours)

They use the email addresses - and sell them to other hackers/spammers

(Never try to unsubscribe, never click on a link, as they will send more, knowing this is an active address)

Solution? Create a new email address and stop using the hacked one.

If the email address belongs to her (rather than him) then she wouldn't receive junk mail related to what he uses the computer for. That's just plain silly.

Yes, they need to talk - but the emails are a different problem and she's connected them, having limited knowledge of computers.

Why somebody would discuss their sex life with their mother is beyond me.

Yes, I understand.
Hopefully others will have more advice.
Mine would be to set a deadline for "the talk," and if he doesn't then his bags will be packed.
For me it would be the refusal to talk just as much as the porn use.

MissAdventure, I agree. It’s a ridiculous stance for him to take.

You’re right MissAdventure. It’s for them to sort out and I’ve not interfered, only listened. But she is in despair. I feel helpless. That’s why I asked the question on gransnet to see what other people thought.

She needs to communicate with him that refusing to talk isn't an option in an equal partnership.
That is a ridiculous stance to take when it is something that is undermining their relationship.

Thanks Barmeyoldbat. Yes, they do need to talk but he refuses point blank.

It sounds pretty clear cut to me.
Who on earth other than him is subscribing to Gang Bang Girls?
It's for her and him to sort out between them, though.
You can't make things right; she has to.

They need to talk. The problem could well be medical and he is using the porn sites as an alternative but they need to talk and if there is a problem, next step would be medical advice from a Dr.