Aibu regarding OH

It depends what you think of each other. My husband was my best friend and there’s no one I would rather have been with, that’s not to say it was sweetness and light all the times, you have to have the odd spat, be very boring if you felt as one bout everything.

I really think you need to find some friends of your own. Have you thought about joining a choir, taking up bridge, getting involved in am dram, doing some work for your church, taking up voluntary work something that's about you and your interests.
What if, God forbid, something happened to your husband? You need friends and interests.

Since we retired together DH has taken on responsibilities such as my morning tea hoovering shoe and boot cleaning brass polishing etc. Jobs that I admit I hated even contemplating doing. We have a lovely mix of friends and our own hobbies and space.
We have got the balance right now at first it was not easy. Which is good we worked together which could be stressful at times. We shop together very rarely I send DH to the booze aisle to fill up the trolley while I look at the weekly offers.

Regarding housework and maintenance I think this should be shared as evenly as possibly. If my partner left me to do most of it I wouldn't be there very long.

As for how you spend your free time, if you love him and want to stay with him, then you need to develop your life with friends and interests, because clearly your husband isn't going to provide enough, and you need more than you have at present. No partner can provide all your needs. My husband and I have separate interests, we wouldn't want to be together all the time.

You don't sound as if you actually like your OH very much.

I think the pandemic is limiting our social contact with others though, and making life difficult in this respect.

I have said we done separate things, we have separate hobbies.

I’m talking about the time when we are both not doing anything that he will say
“You want to do something”

I’m not sure I understand that last post Clio. Is it that he wants to get out of the house more than you do? Hasn’t got enough to amuse him so wants to go out for a coffee? Though you say you both have hobbies your lives seem very empty. Should you both have retired? Should you both look for some part time work or do some volunteering?

Grandmadinosaur

I know only too well how sometimes partners can annoy us and probably vice versa. At the end of the day though be grateful you have a OH to moan about. There are many people on here who have lost theirs and would give anything to have more time with them faults and all.

How I wish my lovely man was here !! even though we never lived in each others pockets we had a very close relationship and I would do anything to be able to "moan" at him be grateful for what you have you never know what you have until it's too late.

glammanana

Grandmadinosaur

I know only too well how sometimes partners can annoy us and probably vice versa. At the end of the day though be grateful you have a OH to moan about. There are many people on here who have lost theirs and would give anything to have more time with them faults and all.

How I wish my lovely man was here !! even though we never lived in each others pockets we had a very close relationship and I would do anything to be able to "moan" at him be grateful for what you have you never know what you have until it's too late.

Me too. Have been a widow now for over 7 years. What I wouldn't give to have him back.

Clio. Count your blessings, Be grateful you still have your husband.

Covid has put many of our lives "on hold" this last couple of years. I think many of us have become hermits. ?. One day it will be over and we can engage more fully with the outside world again. Until then just ride it out.

It does sound like you have lost your mojo a bit. Both as individuals and as a couple. Time to shake things up a bit and have some fun.

Take the trip, buy the shoes, eat the cake. Life is short, time is precious. Don't wast a single lovely drop of it. Don't be that person who wakes up one day and who realises that it's now too late to do the things they were going to do "one day".

My late husband died at 57, he didn't make it to retirement. We were both cheated off our golden years together.

Don't squander yours.

Age is a privilege denied to many. Too many, like my husband, don't even get to have a retirement.

Don't waste another day Moaning about your husband. If you are disappointed with the life you lead then change it.