To think friend was disrespectful

indeed MissAdventure!

Well, that's you told, oldwoman.

Oldwoman70, I wouldn't want a 'friend' like you - who judged me on appearances - and found me wanting. What a bore! You felt the need to make an effort, she didn't, so what?

What I meant to say is drop this friendship or stop the judgement before she realizes it and friendship is impacted

Not for what she looks like

My cell had lunch with words

My clothes are always clean and washed as often as needed - I happen to have clothes that can be confused as the same item, very similar styles

I dress appropriately for the occasion without bells and whistles

Maybe it is what your friend does too.

Didn't you go to have lunch to a down to earth place anyway? Why be all fancy and stand out like a sore thumb?

If you do not value this friends as a person, do her a favour and let her have friends that appreciate her for who she is, not she looks like

how do you know that she hadn't put on her best jumper in honour of you earlier.
you sound snobbish and judgmental.
i wouldn't even notice what someone was wearing, just whether they were there.
don't think it;s a friendship at all.
acquaintance possibly.

I have friends who really go to town and dress up with clothes and make up. Lovely!
I also have friends who wear what they want and don’t worry at all what they look like. Lovely!

I probably sit , somewhere, in the middle and certainly never think disparagingly about what they are wearing.

Not disrespectful , just happy with their own choices.

Ok, if that were me i seriously wouldnt care less if she ( your friend ) came out dressed like a Glamour puss or an Alley cat. The core reason for this situation was through yours and your friends wonderful kindness at a time of much need and that was so lovely of you both. I most certainly wouldnt worry about it i mean you dressed up so thats all that matters.

So long as everyone enjoyed a pleasant evening and enjoyed each other's company, I can't see what difference it makes what any of you wore. If there had been a set dress code, I'm sure yourf riend would have dressed accordingly but, as there doesn't seem to have been one, she dressed for comfort over of style. Good on her! Don't sweat the small stuff!

The older couple made an effort, you made an effort so that’s all that matters. In your shoes I’d have made an effort too but each to his own. Your standards are respectful for the sense of occasion. That’s all that matters. I hope you had a nice time regardless.

I think you are nit picking.Are you sure this lady is your friend? I would not be that judgemental.

I don't understand the problem. I doubt the couple would notice.

I don't think it matters what people wear. I wonder if she thought you were overdressed.

In general, I think that older people do tend to dress up more than younger and have outfits just for best.

I think people eat out more now so is not the event it used to be.

It would have been nice if she had changed her top and put some lippy on, but I'm sure the couple are just happy that they have repaid her kindness. (and yours, of course)

This is your 'friend' we're talking about? You don't already know her attitude to dress sense and many other things? I find that a very strange friendship indeed. I tend to go for personalities and not their wrappings and, yes, I think you are being judgemental and a bit unkind. Who cares about the packaging when it's the contents that really matter? Not me.

I can understand you feeling disappointed Oldwoman - the message your friend was sending out by not smartening herself up was that she didn’t think the occasion was anything special, whereas you and the couple who were taking you out obviously did.
I’m an inveterate dresser-upper & wouldn’t miss any chance to put something nice on.
But as long as the friend was smart enough for the host couple not to have felt there was anything amiss, I don’t think it really matters.

Hi Oldwoman70
I think we are all different and therefore behave differently in any given situation.
Perhaps your friend didn't feel the need to dress up, or wasn't in the mood.
Both of you kindly and generously helped out your elderly neighbours and they in turn wanted to show their appreciation for this. I'm sure they weren't bothered whether you or your friend were dressed up or not.
Personally I don't wear make up or go to the hairdresser very often, being clean and comfortable would be my priority.
So although I can understand your point of view, yes ITYABU (a bit)

If she was clean and tidy thats all that matters. What a strange way to think.

How sad that you are so disappointed that your friend hadn’t changed her clothes you feel the need to start a thread about it. How was she to know that the hosts were going to dress up? How would you have known she hadn’t changed if you hadn’t seen her earlier? So long as she was clean and tidy, and she turned up, what else matters? Some people don’t like dressing up. I’m one of them.

I do like to have a quick shower before going out. But if I could get away with it, I would wear a clean pair of joggers ??

YABU

If your friend was clean and not smelly, then yes you are being unreasonable. She presumably had made the effort to appear clean and unsmelly in the morning and didn't feel it was necessary to repeat the process until the next day.

If she's like me she doesn't own any make-up so naturally wouldn't wear any.

Your friend would have been disrespectful if she hadn’t turned up
Personally I always shower and put my better clothes on when I meet anybody but if she is normally a casual person perhaps she felt comfortable and didn’t feel the need as long as she was clean and tidy
I don’t really think it’s yours and definitely not our business to conclude she was disrespectful unless she was acting badly

I always dress up when we go out. A bit of lippy and one of my smarter tops. Always comfortable though. Yet OH doesn’t really care! I don’t think he’s polished his shoes in years and I’ve had to point out his mud spattered trousers need changing!