Sleeping around

I take this with a big pinch of salt!

Attitudes evolve constantly and this is just one of the changes that I have witnessed in my life time. Of course women have always had sex without commitment but it is more acceptable and easier now.
Sex is merely a bodily function after all in which too much emotional and moral value has been invested IMO.

The pill changed it Blondiescot at least it did when GP's would prescribe it to unmarried women.My GP gave me my first pill prescription 6 weeks before my wedding ,I had asked a few months earlier but she wouldn't give it to me .
Scotland even in the 70's wasn't "liberated".
We tried to rent a flat and after 4 agents refused us on the grounds we had no marriage certificate and FAMILIES needed to be housed first we gave up and stayed with our parents ,didn't do us any harm .We did get a brand new council house ,semi with gardens back and front and a garage just 2 weeks after the wedding .

Wow, there are some attitudes on here which seem stuck in the dark ages! As long as everyone is above the age of consent and it's all consensual, what business is it of anyone else?

It was out and out love (that I tried to resist) that resulted in me being a oncer. Religion and self respect inspired the marriage ceremony.

Coastpath

*if they have to try out a hundred before finding their life partner, then they can't be very good at the preliminary filtering process.*

A bit like those people on Location Location Location who've viewed a hundred houses and still not found 'their forever home'.

Not everyone is looking for a life partner, they just enjoy sex. As long as it is safe and consensual I do not see a problem.

BigBertha1

I agree with coastpath - couldn't be bothered. I don't remember getting many offers anyway and they won't come now.

Don't be so sure of that.

Due to health DH rarely goes out, so I am becoming increasingly aware of the fact that widowers or divorced men of about my own age have got the feeling that I am available.

I am not; nor am I imagining things as some of the questions have been quite unambiguous.

I thought we were permissive enough in the 1970s and that the advent of AIDS had changed attitudes - it did for a while, but yes, I too am shocked at how careless the young are.

It may be consensual sex between adults, but I know of many young and not quite so young who have not bothered using contraceptives of any kind, and have either ended up pregnant, or with one of the STDs.

It’s a different generation and it is sad but the pendulum will swing back the other way.

Beswitched

'AIBU' is possibly not the right question! But in light of your observation about men bragging in the same way - no, you're not being 'unreasonable' IMO.

Our generation were brought up differently - quite differently - and as the world evolves, times change, and women have become more emancipated, it is inevitable that we are liberated from the constraints imposed on us - mainly by men.

I'm not going to judge these MNetters - with the usual proviso that if it's consensual, well - it's none of my business basically.

What I don't understand or condone is the need to brag about the number of conquests! Let's be honest, there will always be willing 'takers' if sex is on offer - so it's not really an achievement is it! I mean, how difficult is it to tot-up the number of encounters, I would think 90% of women could manage a big score if they had the time and inclination!

When men do this (I assume they still do brag) we usually dismiss them as misogynists - or men who need to grow-up a bit. So why do women feel the need to boast about the number of partners / one-night stands? To me, it just isn't a very adult way to behave.

The sad fact is that some men will still judge women on the basis of the numbers of partners they've had - and so will other women. Look at the way the media takes sly digs at women like Katie Price and various other female models / celebrities... and then read the judgmental comments from both men and women, condemning them (sometimes in quite vulgar terminology) for the number of partners they've 'got through'.

I think both men and women should stop bragging about their conquest score, it's 'naff' and immature. Freedom and liberation is something to enjoy - it's not a competition!

Exactly riverwalk hasnt this always been normal look at the very sexual period dramas and go further back to the Roman orgies
When I was a young woman there was a lot of wife swapping and keys on the table business

Surely most of us have had more than one or two partners

Is it normal to only have one life partner, nice if it suits and you find that one and stay with them through thick and thin but not everyone is that lucky and surely it’s only religion that keeps you to one only

Wow. Young women enjoy sex with men. I thought we got over that hurdle a long time ago.

I couldn’t be bothered with it when I was young and certainly not now. Oh I feel a headache coming on!

Has anyone watched Silent Witness? Honestly they seemed to hop into bed with the first thing with a pulse! Again, where are my paracetamols?

Let's not pretend sleeping around is something new!

In any large group of women, particularly younger ones, there will be a sizeable proportion who sleep around.

It's nearly 50 years since I started nurse training and there were quite a few very active colleagues, as at the teacher training colleges which then were overwhelming female.

Nothing new under the sun.

I’m with EllanVannin on this, I was always scared of catching something when younger, but sexually transmitted diseases have apparently soared in older folk these days.
Things have changed along with attitudes by and to women. Sex seems to be usual on dates however short the acquaintance, and doesn’t convey any form of commitment.

Exactly Elegran.
And I think it's weird to want to be either of those people.

Apparently, many young people accept STIs as no big deal, just something to get checked every now and again.

It always seems to me that the more partners someone sleeps with, the less they value any of them as a person with a personality, and the more they are just using them to scratch an itch.

Or maybe people just have different attitudes to sex? Now contraception is widely available and women have choices about their own bodies - surely if it is safe and consensual, it is up to them who they choose to spend their time with and that includes sex?

Not everyone wants to find a life partner either.

It isn't just about women, sons need to be taught to have boundaries surrounding sex and consent too. That is all that is important. I know one of my single sons has had one night stands and to be honest, I am more worried about the safety aspect of it being a stranger rather than promiscuity. Of course he is mortified if I ever mention anything but I think it's better to be realistic.

I was pretty vanilla when I was younger but got myself into all sorts of inappropriate situations where I did not feel safe

I think listening to some of the accounts of marriage on here I dont think anyone is an expert at the filtering process.

if they have to try out a hundred before finding their life partner, then they can't be very good at the preliminary filtering process.

A bit like those people on Location Location Location who've viewed a hundred houses and still not found 'their forever home'.

I suspect it is part of the same attitude that thinks competitive sports are unfair and that everyone should get a prize. If they carry that into their love/sex life, then they don't keep the gold medal for the man who wins their heart, they hand it to any man who happens to be nearest when the lights go out. Then they chuck him for a more exciting prospect. No wonder so many people carry so much baggage forward into future relationships that those fail too.

No-one would claim that everyone must stick for ever to the first person their inexperienced self sleeps with, but if they have to try out a hundred before finding their life partner, then they can't be very good at the preliminary filtering process.

Never say never BigBertha1

EllanVannin yes, it makes me think yuck!

I agree with coastpath - couldn't be bothered. I don't remember getting many offers anyway and they won't come now.

I think the idea that sex is a loving act between two people committed to each other has long gone.