How were you told about the onset of periods

My mother had a similar experience to many of you here. She started her periods aged ten and thought she was bleeding to death. My grandmother gave her the necessary equipment and told her that this would happen every month from now on and this was what she needed. Because of this, my mother was determined that I would have a better understanding and experience and explained the basics in the summer holidays when I was nine. In the next term at school we had a general health and hygiene series and one morning the girls were taken into the hall by ourselves. A nurse explained the basic facts of life and we were given a sanitary towel to pass to each other. By this time, 1974, they had progressed to stick on pads, Kotex Simplicity, although they were still like bricks. We were also given a booklet, Very Personally Yours, to take home. In the event, I was fourteen when I started and it was pretty much a non-event, although I still found it embarrassing. I do not miss having periods.

I was a couple of weeks past my 13th birthday. I did know but in a very hazy way. I told my mother who just said “I should have got you some items” and it was never discussed again. My first few were fairly scanty so I wasn’t perturbed but then the absolute pain and flooding kicked in. I remember once being dropped off at the end of a fairly long road to walk up to my school and started on the way. By the time I arrived blood was pouring down my legs. Aged 17 I started taking the pill which I stayed on for around 20 years until after I had my 3rd child. That was bliss. Then aged 40 I stopped and all the old problems began again only far worse. I stopped having periods at 50 and whereas I’d dreaded the end of my fertility it was a blessed relief when it occurred.

My sister and her friends were keen to enlighten me, I did have a very embarrassing lecture from my mum after my sister had sorted me out

Started on a school trip, didn't notice but mum did as I was doing hand stands in the house ! Told me to go to my bedroom, read this leaflet ( Dr Whites ) handed me a belt and a sanitary towel. I was 11 yrs old, didn't understand the leaflet thought I would bleed to death, my older sister just laughed and showed me what to do. Later on got told, "dont you bring trouble home " didn't understand until I was about 17 ! Very naive in the 60's in a small northern town

I was told by an older girl at school that when you turned 10 a girls body wanted a baby every month and made an egg with a mouth and the womb made blood for it to feed on and if you didn't have a seed for the egg to eat put inside your bottom by a naked man it drained out of you as a period. I was terrified....
Such a relief to have a conversation with my lovely mum to find out the facts properly so years later when puberty hit I was well prepared. Then Mum told me more about sex. That it was natural between a loving couple (providing they were married) and should never be had with just any boy and it was a nice feeling that didnt always make a baby but it could so if you didnt want babies you had to be careful. Had no idea what she meant about being careful then though.
I do remember when I left home to study she reminded me that I would always have a home with her and Dad but see hear..if you ever bring a baby back with you there will be hell to pay..lucky that I knew what to do by then ?

I think my mum just gave me a book to read! I do remember my first period, though!

Just told me the basics really, sometime before I started. That was it, no sex talk I just had to find out myself from the playground. But I told my daughter and as she had a learning difficulty I explained it was the body building a nest for a baby and then leaning it ready for the next month. I showed her how to put the pad on, about changing it etc. But there was one thing I forgot. She asked me after about 2 weeks for some more pads and I said are you still bleeding ? No, she repaid, but I thought I had to keep wearing it until next time. Just forgot to tell her it would stop after a few days.

After my mother spent an afternoon tea with some neighbours ,who had three girls - she came home with a slim booklet .
This illustrated very tastefully in fifties style graphics - the importance of good grooming-taking baths daily, washing your hair ,buffing your nails and periods - written in evasive language was discussed in a couple of sentences .
I read the book as instructed by my mother.
And wondered why she'd gone to so much trouble to explain normal daily ablutions.
Consequently, when my periods came aged ten - I was a thin underdeveloped girl and I wasn't really sure what they were .
I rinsed my knickers out and dried them quickly in the airing cupboard .

After three months of a dark discharge - they became bright red ,heavy ,clotty and painful and I knew what they were from listening to older girls .

It was 1955 and I was 13 and at school with griping tummy pain and bleeding. I told the infirmarian nun about the pain and she said I could go home. Terrified I walked the 2 miles home as I was afraid of leaving blood on a bus seat and told my mother I was very ill and bleeding.

Mother just said it was the curse and all women had it every month and gave me cloths and a safety pin to attach them to my knickers. She told me to wash the cloths thoroughly and not tell my brothers what they were or speak about anything to do with ‘the curse’. Then I understood what I had puzzled over when my brother and I had been sent earlier in the year to visit family 200 miles away, “If anything happens Auntie will help you”.

We lived out of town and it was a long time later that she went to the shops and bought a belt and pads for me. What a relief. Since she was still in her 30s when I started I can only think that she had always made pads from old cloths for herself. Needless to say, sex and having babies were also taboo subjects and I grew into adulthood knowing nothing about having sex and imagining that women’s bellies split open to allow babies to be born.

In the first year of secondary school we had two talks from a Dr Wallis. I think a letter went home to tell our parents about it. The first was on personal hygiene, teeth cleaning, deodorants etc, the second was about periods. We all sat there stuffing hankies in our mouths to stifle our giggles. Most of us had no idea. I guess our parents were glad that somebody else had done the job of telling us.
I had a sister 18m older who told me a little, but I learnt most from other girls at school, especially one girl whose mother was very enlightened for those days. We also learned about reproduction in biology lessons, though it was about earthworms, frogs and rabbits.
I started when I was 12. It was one dark evening after school. I called for my mum. She said “ oh, you’ve got a pain” and produced some “ things” i.e Dr Whites and a belt. If we ran out, I had to ask her for some more “ things”. They were bought in plain packaging from the haberdashers. We were not to have a bath or wash our hair whilst on a period.

I was told nothing about the facts of life. Many years later, she told me that Dad wanted “ these relations” i.e. sex, when he was upset after a very close friend and colleague had died.
That was the most intimate conversation we ever had!

I was given a ok to read and told to ask if l'd git any questions ....as if!!! Was also told not to talk about it to my younger sister or father!! Sounds as if many of us had similar experiences ! Awful

My (I think) well meaning Mum told me “I would get The Curse”. I went to an all girls school but as far as the know to this day, no one else “got the curse”. Once married, I didn’t tell my husband either. I’m nearly 60 now and I still find it hard to talk openly about this subject. Thank Goddo things have changed. Life’s hard enough.

Well done everyone who has read this far in the thread. Isn't it amazing how many of us were not properly prepared and so many mothers refused to talk about it, explain, or even help, sending girls to the neighbour or to an aunt,older sister, or just leaving us to work it out for themselves.

My mother and our neighbour gave me and the girl next door a pamphlet to read when we were about 10, but it went completely over my head. When I had a French exchange girl staying, she had her period and I remember my mother making up a sanitary towel with cotton wool to help her out, but she tried to hide it from me and never mentioned it.

I went on a Colony Holiday aged 12 and all the girls except me had sanitary pads in their cases. One evening I went to the loo and still felt a bit wet when I got back so I borrowed a tissue from the girl in the next bed, wiped myself again and discovered some blood. She was an angel and lent me her belt and pads. I washed the belt when I got home and posted it back to her but I never heard from her again.

Back home, my father gave me a long boring talk, I think it was about sex and boys but, again, it went entirely over my head, so, basically, Inhadnto work it all out for myself.

I am ashamed to say that I never had any talk with my boys about anything but by th Time they were reaching puberty, school education was much better. Just giving them a moral code to live by seemed to do the trick.

my mother asked me if I new what happened when I was about 14 ( I was 14) when I said yes she replied I thought you would,I was at boarding school and when i started I got told off for not having the necessary equipment, I had to write and ask my mother to send me some!!

I wasn' t by my parents. Mine started quite late, aged 16, so lots of girls at school already had them . When it happened, I said " mom, I have my period" and she rushed out to buy sanitary towels. She never bought them again and never mentioned them again. Sooooo different to myself and my daughter.

Sallywally1

I hid them from my (very neurotic) mother using tea towels etc. she later found a blood Stain on the bed and said ‘oh you’ve started then’ and walked out. I was no longer her baby.

Thank god I had a sister seven years my senior, who helped and instructed me in the womanly arts! She knew our mum was bats!

The experiences posted here sound very familiar. It’s so sad that it was so. I always think that the best way is to answer children’s questions as they come up at whatever age they are. Adults often fall into the trap of thinking they need to have ‘the talk’, but in some ways this should never be needed if we just keep the conversations going and don’t duck them

My mum gave me an article from a magazine to read! Just as well I was a good reader!! Still it was all a bit vague. Girls are so much more informed nowadays thankfully.

I was just given a booklet to read which didn’t really explain anything. When my periods started I hadn’t a clue what was happening and ended up blocking the loo with toilet paper. Mum gave me some horrendous pants and towels, but I soon discovered Tampax. It’s very sad to read so many stories of traumatised young girls. I tried my best to explain everything to my children. I could maybe have done better but they at least knew what was happening.

Following on from my previous post - I started a week before my 11th birthday, so I had to tell my daughter when she was about 10 incase it happened to her early too. Which it did. She was still at primary school. She was actually at school when it happened. I got a phone call from the school to say that she had locked herself in the loo and was saying she wanted her mummy. They had no idea why. I sort of guessed and when I got there I was right.

My mum was brill, she sat me down and told me all about it and apparently her mum had done the same which judging by some of the posts on here and the stories that my mum told me about her school friends experiences, was not the norm! She told my sister too, but for some odd reason she didn’t tell mum when it happened and just hit her knickers under her mattress until she ran out of knickers !

1960, aged 13, one afternoon having come home from school, I was in the house on my own ... and I ‘started’. So excited, I went to meet mum off the bus coming home from work. I told her ... her reply was ... ‘don’t go near any lads’. What!!!??? Can’t recall any reply from me. Did I know what she meant, probably.

My mother did tell me before I started but left nothing for me to use. I came home from school one day and when I went to the toilet realised I had started . I was 11 and 9 months.

My mother was in work, me and my younger brother had my Nan looking after us until she came home. Nana gave me money to go to the local chemist to buy what I needed and I still remember how mortified I was when the female shop assistant was busy and the male pharmacist served me . I don’t think I ever forgave my mother for not having any sanitary products ready in the house for me, she thought she still had plenty of time to buy them!

I made sure I told both my daughters and showed them what I bought. I put a tampon in water for my youngest daughter to show her how it would expand. Good job I prepared her early she had her first period 2 days before her 11th birthday, her older sister was 12 and a half

From quite a young age Mum sent me to the Chemists with a note and money and I would be handed a brown paper bag stapled closed. On one occasion the male assistant laughed and said "There you are love, one pack of man hole covers!" When I looked confused he said "And you a Cockney girl! Ask you mother what man hole covers are!!" I did. She looked shocked and said I should never use that expression, it was very common. I still had no idea what it referred to. I eventually discovered my Mum sent me to the Chemists because she was too embarrassed to go herself. She was a nurse and a midwife for Heaven's sake!!

Mum never told me anything about periods, anything to do with sex or 'intimate subjects' was taboo in our house. At secondary school we had one lesson (without the boys) which focused on frogs, rabbits and birth, but not in great detail. Nothing said about periods, sanitary protection, sex or contraception.

I was 14 when I woke up one morning and found I was bleeding. It didn't frighten me but I told my Mum who looked disgusted and said "More expense!" She gave me an elasticated belt and a couple of Dr Whites towels and told me to keep myself clean, but don't bathe or wash my hair, and don't mess around with boys. The bulky towels were horrible to wear and sometimes leaked. When we did PE at school girls who had their periods weren't allowed to take part in case of leakage. I eventually discovered tampons. Mum found them in my dressing table drawer and was very angry, saying they would 'ruin' me.

My MIL was equally prudish. After our first child was born DH came into the hospital with sanitary protection for me. She was really shocked that he had bought them. And when I was suffering exceptionally heavy periods during the menopause she was hugely embarrassed when I had to find a toilet quickly while we were out, and even worse that I should mention it to my DH.

We had three sons and I made sure they knew all about male and female reproduction as part of everyday conversation. We could always talk to them about anything and everything and still can.

Our older granddaughters are coping very well with growing up, and can discuss anything with both their parents. Our two youngest GDs (5 & 7) were present at the births of their siblings without any shock, fear or embarrassment and gave us a wonderful and very humorous account of the whole process!

What wonderful, if sad, stories you all tell.

How terrible there were so many traumatised girls. I tried to educate my two daughters, but I fear I failed in not explaining enough too.

I think of Chad Varah who started Samaritans in memory of the very young girl who started her periods and committed suicide because of lack of knowledge about what was happening. She was buried on unconsecretated ground and Chad was horrified. He started Samaritans partly in the hope of dispelling ignorance.

Thank you ladies for your responses.

Tictacnana - I was 9 too. My primary school claimed I was the 1st to ever 'start' so young! I thought started what? They gave me a pad and sent me home. My Mum was a bargain hunter and in 1975 pads and belts were disappearing so Mum bought them in bulk...with no belts. She gave me a pack of small canoe pads and told me to use one a day.

The worst thing? I can't remember how or what I told my daughter...I had depression...I hope I was useful. I'll have to ask her :/