How were you told about the onset of periods

Franbern My sons used to play with my tampons in the bath too. They then threw them out of the window where I eventually found them on the flat extension roof! They did know all about periods and how babies were made from a very early age as I always answered questions at an age appropriate level and we were open about everything.

Like others I was also given a book by my mother, when I was about 9 or 10 years old, (which I did not read). Sanitary towels were always in our home, as my Dad suffered from dreadful piles which often bled copiously and he used these when that happened.

Think my Mum must have talked more to me, as I was quite ready when it happened. My Mother was so embarrassed about anything like that, but I was given that belt, and those looped towels to wear. Started on a Saturday, remember that because I used to go all day Saturdays to dancing classes and can remember my Mum saying I did not have to go that day, but I wanted to.

Sadly I did not find tampons until many years later.

With my own daughters we talked about such things often when they were small and they played with tampons in their bath, watching them swell up when they got wet. They were encouraged, by me, to know all the parts of their bodies . All were very involved in sports mainly diving, swimming and gymnastics, so it was important they were happy to use small tampons right from the start. Being very physically active also helped to ensure they were unlikely to suffer much in the way of period pains.

No idea about my g.daughters, although, all but the very youngest have now reached the ages of starting these. Assume they, like their Mothers, were all very well aware

silverlining48 I know how you feel. Our builder came round last week with his new apprentice doing a familiarisation day before starting work at the end of the school year when he will be 16.

Suddenly realised he was only a year older than DGD who will be 15 this year, because she will be at school until she is 18, I had rather forgotten just how fast she is growing up.

My gd began hers this week. She was fine as far as i know, but I still can’t get my head round it. To me she is still a little girl.

i love this thread. I can't remember if mum broached the subject with me or whether I started before that. I don't think dad was too interested. He referred to it as 'split her kipper', the mind boggles!
It would be so interesting to see what today's youngsters would think about these comments.

I don't remember any formal talk. We all discussed it at school, I had an elder sister - and a hypochondriac mother who often took to her bed with 'terrible pains and flooding'. Us girls had to carry those bulky pads and awful belts in our satchels - for years, in case 'it' began - which we dreaded.

I wasn't.
I was home on school holidays when mine began and I phoned my friend down the road, as I was home alone with everyone else working, and I thought something was terribly wrong!
She said she'd be there in 5 minutes. She came with pads - there were none in the house and I'd never even seen any, or tampons, in the house - and explained everything.
I was just 10/11 and she was about 10.

When my mum gave me my first pack of sanitary towels, it was just that, one pack. Enough for one in the morning and one at night in order to get through the period - and that was pushing it, because mine lasted over a week (then started again a couple of weeks later).

That meant that to get through the day, I was going off to the loo between every lesson and packing a great rolled-up wodge of toilet paper into my pants, to try to contain my heavy periods. I did the same at home.

My mother never knew the problems I had, but she did wonder how we could possibly be getting through so much paper!

After a while, I started using both tampons and pads at the same time, but still used a lot of paper too.
Later still, I discovered via a classmate that it was possible to use more than one tampon at a time - we were on a school residential field trip, and she, apparently, actually used four at once, but had still leaked badly before we got back to the hostel after a day out on the moors.

I would not have dreamed of discussing any of this with my mother.

My entire attitude towards periods was probably influenced by my mother, who refered to it as "being unwell" or being "bad". She told me all kinds of (working class) myths, such as it was dangerous to wash my hair when I was having a period.

I grew up loathing my periods and feeling that women had got, quite literally, the dirty end of the stick. In my 20s I used to scream and cry with the pain and my mother just told me it was "part of being a woman". Yeah, right.

Finaly I took myself off to a private gynachologist who operated and that was the end of painful periods. I still hated them. When the pill became freely available I took it for years without ever stopping to allow myself to have a period. When I ceased taking them my body clock has stopped and never had another one.

As I have never wanted children thats find by me.

I still consider the entire business of bleeding and periods to be loathsome and degrading.

Yes, DanniRae it was, but even more distressing was when my Mum died of cancer a couple of years later and nobody talked about that either (August 1967).

I came home from school at lunchtime and was bleeding. I knew a bit about it from school biology lessons and my sister two years older. My mum had just given birth to my brother - there’s a 12 year a gap.- she was bleeding and had one of the sanitary belts in the house, my sister was on her period so had the other belt so she made a sort of belt from coarse string it had two loops and went round my waist. I went back for afternoon school with the string belt cutting into me and what felt like a great big wodge of sanitary towel between my legs.

My mum. lost her mum when she was thirteen and her family were taken in by some childless relatives. So she knew nothing about sex or periods or childbirth, most of what she learnt was from work colleagues. She talks about waiting for the midwife to make a cut in her breast so she could feed her baby.

I can relate to so many of the stories on here, mine was also a typical tortured mumbled few sentences, head down over the ironing board, and being none the wiser. It has left me mumbling crimson faced in many a medical interview, and yet I delude myself in thinking that I am enlightened...obviously not!

Also struck by how much sadness is on this thread - I wonder who/when/how the idea of shame, being unclean and secrecy first came about?

We take for granted that we will have access to whatever we need, but I'm trying to imagine a remote setting where perhaps there's no running water, or shops; maybe it's a hot desert climate - or very cold - and everybody shares the living space...

In some cultures the women are banished to a hut away from the main dwelling. I believe that one religious practice forbids sex while a woman menstruates and require her to be cleansed before going near her husband again. It must have been so hard for women in times gone by - and maybe still is. Thinking of FGMm here. No science to guide, only superstition and pain and fear.

I sometimes donate to a refugee charity that supplies period products to refugees, I must go and look it up. I can't begin to imagine how awful it must be to have to flee your home with nothing and then...what on earth do they do?

My friends and I found out from magazines and books in the school library. I was 12 when I started and hated telling my mum. I have 3 brothers and she said that used towels should be burned on the kitchen fire only when they and my dad were not around. I can still remember the awful smell of the incinerator in the girls toilets at school. My mum also said I was not to wash my hair while having a period and even though school expected us to still go swimming, she did not approve.

Oh GrandmaSeaDragon that must have been so distressing for you!

I wasn’t told and my periods started while away on a school trip in the 60s.

My mother's parents died when she was young and she was brought up by her 3 sisters. She thought she was dying when she started her period at 16 years old and went to the doctor who explained it to her. As a result she told me about them when I was 10. I don't remember the conversation about sex though I eventually had 5 younger siblings and I seemed always to know about it. Unfortunately I never started menstruating till I was nearly 18 so was convinced I must be a boy (also being a bit of a tomboy and underdeveloped). It was then 6 months before I had another one. I hated the pads and tried Lillets as soon as I could. Tampax felt too big and I couldn't insert them so was further convinced I was abnormal. The worst part was that all my friends who I told about periods because they didn't know started well before me. They had letters so they could miss the communal showers in PE and of course I never did!!

I must have been in the last year of primary school and I had tummy ache. My mum gave me a book called "Peter and Pamela Grow Up". I read it thoroughly then passed it on to my childhood sweetheart who was the same age as me and lived in the adjoining semi. I figured if I had to know all this stuff then he should too!! Looking back on it I can just imagine our mums, who were good friends, thinking it hysterically funny. My periods didn't actually start until I was 14 or 15, by which time I was well prepared with one of those hideous elastic belts with hooks, and big bulky Dr Whites. (Though after a holiday a few years ago which included hiring a bike, I really wished Dr Ws were still available!). I remember wrapping used ones up in newspaper and hiding them until my brothers were out then burning them on the fire.

Mum used to send me to the chemist with a note with ST'S written on it. I asked what ST'S were and she told me so I was well aware at 10 years so when I started my ST's were ready and waiting with a pink sanitary belt. Tampax soon followed but my friend's mum denied her those as "they might lose her virginity" and she was a nurse!

My mums comment things on top wardrobe read packet and don’t tell sister (she is younger than me)) that was it no sex discuss only frog’s reproduction at school if any kissing on t.v she would off saying not fit for us to see even in her late nineties still had the same attitude

My mother never said anything, which in hindsight was very cruel and cowardly of her. Leaving a child terrified in order to avoid embarrassment.

I have childrens accounts at Halifax bank for my grandchildren. Rates aren’t good at the moment though.

Does anyone have any experience of opening bank accounts for their grandchildren? Those I’m looking at need to be opened by a parent I think? Or there are prepaid cards for which you have to pay a fee of around £2 or more a month. Grateful for any advice.

Cosy mum and daughter chat when I was 10 or 11. She’d noticed I was ‘developing’ and did her best to let me know what to expect without making it frightening. She’d put a little pack of supplies for me at the bottom of my wardrobe including a floral type wallet for me to take pads to school. My gran was also really good debunking all the myths eg not washing your hair during a period. Dad never actually said anything (men didn’t then)but if I complained of ‘tummy ache’ he’d be there with a couple of tablets and hot water bottle. I think I was very lucky and have tried to be as supportive to my granddaughter

We had the talk from the deputy headmistress in the last year of primary school. It was timed for just before our end of primary residential trip in case anyone started while away from home. We were told the female teacher on the trip would have supplies and we could ask discretely if we needed anything. Reading other’s experiences this was very enlightened, it would have been 1976. I was always fascinated by the adverts for sanitary towels in womens magazines but never asked what they were for.

My mum told me when I was about 11, but I was able to tell her about the school talk. I’d been too embarrassed to bring it up before then. She would make sure there was a pack of towels in my drawer every month. My gran slipped me a pack just after I started with a comforting hug so my mum must have told her. I remember not being sure if I needed to wear a pad overnight or if the flow stopped while asleep. Don’t think anyone had covered that in their talks. My mum would ask every month when my dad and brother were out if I had anything to burn, which meant used towels sealed in a plastic bag and burnt on an open fire. I’m not sure why they were not thought suitable for the general household waste.

My mum used tampons, but didn’t buy me any. I remember sneaking one out of her room when we had PE. I would leave it in far too, long looking back, it’s a wonder I don’t get toxic shock syndrome. She did get me some when I was about 16, I couldn’t tell her I already knew what to do.

I made sure my own daughter was prepared for what would happen well in advance. She had a pack of pads in her chest of drawers about a year before she started. I remember her going to stay with her gran aged eleven, dh was taking her but I was staying at home. I suggested she take some pads just in case she started while away. She was adamant she wouldn’t, but told me if it did happen while away she would just ask her gran for supplies. I had to tell her it was unlikely her 83 year old gran would have anything in the house suitable. I’m sure my mother in law would have been lovely had the need arisen, just unprepared with supplies,
Determined DD wouldn’t have my experience with tampons I bought her several types. She’s far more squeamish than me and just wasn’t interested for several years, but at least she had the option.

Some of the experiences people went through sound awful.

Mine where heralded by awful stomach cramps and feeling faint. I was taken to the sick room at school I was eleven. It carried on like this until I was 21 and went on the pill when I got married. I lost count of the times I passed out at work and once on the bus going there. I was put in one of the company cars and taken home. My boss was brilliant. My mother did take me to the doctors and I was given some pills which where no good at all. I was given a leaflet at school called “ personally yours “ but don’t remember a talk, I guess we must have had one though.