Ungrateful nieces querying grandfather's will

Cabbie21

I have just realised this is the same family as another thread about gatecrashers at a funeral! Condemnation of the nieces is unanimous there.

How so? The OP name is different and the gatecrasher thread’s OP was talking about her cousin, not her two nieces.

Well spotted Cabbie. In the other thread she mentions only one niece who she says she has never met. If she’s never met her brother’s child, who according to the other thread has a married son, isn’t that a bit strange? Doesn’t it reinforce the feeling that we have been told anything but the full story?

The fact that he changed it after his son died suggests there was a bad relationship between him and his son

Not necessarily. After my sister died my mother thought she had to change her will to just include my siblings and me. I explained to her that my sister’s children could inherit their mother’s portion, when the time came, and mum was happy with that so has left her will as it was.

But the will is talking about his grandchildren OP nieces so not to muddle things up.

Yes. His grandchildren and great grandchildren were allow to go to the ceremony but not his great niece because she hadn’t visited him in the nursing home, where he was living because he was nearly a hundred years old.

I have just realised this is the same family as another thread about gatecrashers at a funeral! Condemnation of the nieces is unanimous there.

Poppyred

Callistemon21

because she obviously wants things kept private
But posted it on the internet.

Exactly! And isn’t coming back to explain herself by all accounts.

TBH, I think these kinds of 'issues' (for want of a better word) being posted under AIBU where the poster cannot - or is reluctant to - give detailed information are always going to raise more questions rather than helpful replies.

We don't know what the brother's wishes were, we don't know why the OP's father changed his Will, or what was in the original, nor why the nieces expected more - on what basis... and we don't know why the rest of the estate was left to the OP. All we know is that the two nieces are not happy and have asked to see a copy of the Will.

The OP herself, judging by the tone of her post, appears to think the nieces are being unreasonable and is maybe hoping we will agree with her. But, not knowing the family dynamics nor any of the facts - how can we possibly say?

I think she'd be better served by seeking legal advice on the matter where she can discuss the matter privately in full and in confidence, and not solicit opinions from GN'ers who are simply going to respond to the limited information according to their own bias and experiences.

As executor you are duty bound to carry out your father's wishes. He chose you to oversee the distribution of his affairs when the time came because in his mind you were the best person for the job. Money brings out the worst in people. Stick to your guns and follow his wishes.

Callistemon21

^because she obviously wants things kept private^
But posted it on the internet.

Exactly! And isn’t coming back to explain herself by all accounts.

because she obviously wants things kept private
But posted it on the internet.

We don’t know when the original will was made, which I understand left everything to Jannabel

She hasn't said that as far as I know - she left us to assume that her brother would have inherited half but he died, then her father changed his will and left everything to her.
If that is what he wanted, fair enough, but if the original will was set u properly there would have been no need for new one.

The don't sound like a very close family and it's all academic now anyway.

We don’t know when the original will was made, which I understand left everything to Jannabel. It may have been many years ago and there may have been very good reasons for him doing this, there probably were. The fact that he changed it after his son died suggests there was a bad relationship between him and his son and if he had left money to the granddaughters in the original will perhaps he had reservations about who would benefit from it. I don’t think she is being unreasonable and we shouldn’t make conclusions from limited information about the circumstances because she obviously wants things kept private.

We've been given selective information by the OP

Yes, we have.
I always like to consider both sides (or all).
However, we will never find out the other side of the story.

I was a bit concerned that the OP says she ALLOWED him to change his will .Was there undue influence? Dis the original will just split everything 50/50 and she "let" him leave his sons share to her but then decided the GC should have 10% each ....

Were his grandchildren present at his funeral or ash scattering?

Callistemon21

But if he was unable to recognise anyone that rings alarm bells.

With respect, the OP said he was unable to recognise his nieces in photographs. She doesn't specify if the photo's were of them when they were young or later when they had grown. If the latter, it would not be surprising if he didn't recognise them if they never visited him. That's not the same as being unable to recognise anyone.

We've been given selective information by the OP. There's obviously more to it, but I doubt she wants to give more detail, for obvious reasons.

Thanks Iam64 and Beswitched

Doodledog

notgran

Doodledog
"Whatever we’d decided I would be furious to think that any of them were arguing over the ‘fairness’ or otherwise of how we have split our money (if we have any left when the time comes)."
I'm sorry but this made me laugh. Being furious when you are 6 feet under, is a good trick if you manage it.

Oh, you haven't seen me when I'm furious?.

Doodledog
I told DH that if he remarried and she persuaded him to disinherit our children I'd come back and haunt them!

notgran

Doodledog
"Whatever we’d decided I would be furious to think that any of them were arguing over the ‘fairness’ or otherwise of how we have split our money (if we have any left when the time comes)."
I'm sorry but this made me laugh. Being furious when you are 6 feet under, is a good trick if you manage it.

Oh, you haven't seen me when I'm furious?.

LOUISA
I will try to be polite and not descend to your level of rudeness

Quite the opposite, my dear. Were I the OP I'd be asking for a variation so that my nieces would receive their father's share.
That's how our wills are set up.

I'm talking about fairness - had the son lived he would have inherited his half share under his father's will which would be passed on to his children (or not if he spent it all) now the OP inherits the majority.

If that is what the father knew he was doing, fair enough.
But if he was unable to recognise anyone that rings alarm bells.

I think you should apologise, however, if you can't understand that, if I were the OP, I'd feel uncomfortable about inheriting most of my brother's share too, then I'm sorry. The exact opposite of greedy in fact and more generous than the OP.

But I love all my nephews and nieces dearly even if I rarely see them now.

The


If my immediate and wider family read your extremely rude post they'd be incredulous then just snort with laughter at the ridiculousness of it.

I think they thought they would be getting more - they are now querying how could he have done that when he didn't always recognise people......neither of them ever visited him, which is why he didn't always know who they were in photographs

So - here's the case. Nieces are not happy with the sum they got from grandfather's Will because they expected more.

They are therefore questioning whether he was of sound mind / or coerced when making said Will. As far as we know they are suspicious because he didn't recognise them in photographs... though if they never visited him, how would they even know he didn't recognise them other than through hearsay?

And that's it. That's all we know.

It doesn't matter a fig if we think the nieces should have inherited more because their father pre-deceased their grandfather, if he was of sound mind he had the right to leave his money to whoever he chose to leave it to.

Did the father of the two girls leave a Will - did he even have anything to leave in his Will, why didn't he leave something for them in his Will? Why did the nieces expect to receive more? There are so many 'unknowns' in this OP that basically renders it pretty pointless - how can we even know if she is BU or not BU?

So we all chime in with what we would've done under the circumstances... but that's the point, we know our own circumstances, but we don't know anything of the OP's... except that the nieces are disgruntled about their 10% - and would've been even more so if it had only been 5%.

The OP raised too many questions for anyone to be able to offer anything useful regards BU or not.

I don't think you are being unreasonable Jannabell. Your role as executor is to ensure that your late father's will is carried out and that is what you are doing.

Your father would have had to have proved to the solicitor who made the alterations to his will, that he was of sound mind so IMO any suggestions that he may have been suffering from dementia are irrelevant and unkind.

The whole point of making a will is to ensure that your wishes are carried out. That your estate is distributed to those you want to inherit.

There may be some who disagree, who feel badly done too but as executor that is not your responsibility.

I do wish that when it comes to an inheritance from a parent or GP, people who don't seem to understand, do understand that it is a gift, not a right.

Louisa1523 Any reason you have to be so rude and unpleasant? Can you not make your point in a calm and intelligent way?

Doodledog
"Whatever we’d decided I would be furious to think that any of them were arguing over the ‘fairness’ or otherwise of how we have split our money (if we have any left when the time comes)."
I'm sorry but this made me laugh. Being furious when you are 6 feet under, is a good trick if you manage it.

If the Will was drawn up by a competent Solicitor they would have asked a few basic questions to test his mental capacity. When I remade my will (I was in my mid 60s at the time) I was asked who the current PM was, what year it was and several other questions.

The Solicitor was a little embarrassed as she said I was obviously mentally competent(!) but these were questions asked of anyone over a certain age.

Of course, one solution would be for the OP to include the nieces in her own Will if she wished