Eating out paying the bill

If intending to “share” the costs, I’m always happier paying for what I have consumed, not half the bill.
The first time this happened, I was outraged when I chose modest dishes, drank very little and one woman ate lobster and had expensive cocktails! Never again.

With all my various friends male and female we all pay for our own meal and pool it on the tray
No way would I eat a £10 meal and pay £30 + how ever nice the other person was

If he is a friend saying you can’t afford to pay half shouldnt be a problem, just pay for what you had yourself.
Splitting the bill usually means everyone orders expensive choices

If you feel awkward when bill time comes, when you come to think about asking for it, excuse yourself from the table as if going to the cloakroom.
As you pass the waiter or bar, just quietly say “separate bills please for my table when we ask for it.”
Might take a bit of practice & timing but it’s worth a try!

Talking of sharing and caring. My dear ‘saver’ friend showed me, not long ago, that you could get ‘scraps’ from the fish shop. She ordered a fish and a ‘small’ chips and asked for ‘scraps’. We shared it. I was mortified, because I hadn’t heard of ‘scraps’ before. So ladies, I have taught you something today, ?

You haven’t taught me anything crazyH we ve been eating scraps for years
They re delicious

Is there any fish in scraps or are they just bits of batter?

We got caught that way once when put for drinks. Two other couples had a couple of spirits each, the men had a couple of pints and the ladies had wine.
DH and I are not really drinkers. DH had a G&T and I had a cola and we both had a coffee.
We ended up paying for about 4 times more than we had imbibed.
Now we always say we will pay for our own. Nobody seems to mind.

Cabbie21 yes, there are little bits of fish that have fallen off the main fish, into the batter….

Thank you all for your very varied advice.Have to say he is a bit of a boozer which I’m not so I’m certainly not funding that every time. I’ll try suggesting separate bills but got a feeling we’re not on the same hymn sheet in lots of ways anyway so may sidestep future meet ups….

No they are batter just batter cabbie

‘What are scraps in a fish and chip shop?’
‘Scraps (otherwise known as batter bits) are pieces of batter left over in the fryer as a by-product of frying fish. They are traditionally served free of charge in chip shops’
There’s no fish or potato in the just pure bits of batter

We used to go to the local chippie when we were kids, 65 years ago, and ask for a bag of ‘scratchings’ which were bits of batter, I didn't know you could still get them.

Some years ago my DH had supper in a pub with a couple. He arrived first and ordered and paid for a pint. The couple arrived and set up a tab, ordering drinks for them at the same time. The 3 meals went on the tab. When it came to pay, the husband suggested they split the bill. My DH said no, there was one of him and two of them so he would pay a third. The husband was rather put out at that.

Oonana thanks for coming back, it sounds like you definitely need separate bills.

On another occasion we went with a group to a vineyard to order some wine "en primeur" for collection the following year.
The group of 10 then went for lunch and because we'd been to this vineyard we were given a couple of bottles to share, as a gift. One couple didn't want to drink wine and so asked for Perrier. The price of the food ordered by each person was more or less the same and another bottle was ordered, which together with coffee was added to the bill. At the end, when the bill was produced it was decided we'd share it equally. The OH of the non wine drinkers produced 50 euros which was the price of his food and said he would pay separately, which he did. At that point the waiter decided that the other couples would also pay separately so we queued up at the till, thereby annoying other people. The phrase " les anglais" was repeated a few times. I was the last to pay and ended about 20 euros out of pocket mainly because of the first couple. He did not want to pay for wine that he hadn't drunk and could not get his head around the fact that the initial bottles of wine were free but his water wasn't and he didn't include their coffees.

Dinahmo
It’s the same for me. When in England do as the British do, pay your turn but I am single. When I go out with two other couples, each man of his couple pays plus the other couple and me, two men and then it’s my turn. The other women do not pay a turn.

Years ago I went out with a group of girls. I ordered a modest dinner as did most of us. Two of the girls ordered starters, expensive dinner, dessert and Irish coffees. Someone asked how we were going to pay the bill. One of the two girls announced "split it of course". Fortunately I had change in my purse and put the exact amount on the plate. No way am I paying double for my dinner!!!!

There’s nothing annoys me more than when you eat in a group and some people have the works plus wine/beer etc and then expect you to put in as much as them I would never eat with them again it’s thoughtless, it’s unfair
It happened to my daughter recently she went out with a group she hadn’t been with before ate a modest meal with sparkling water ( driving) and was expected to share the costs of their drinks and their steak, creamy afters and wine. She didn’t but has lost any invites
Very thoughtless and unfair

I’ve always had this problem being teetotal and only drink tap water-so separate bills it is. I only pay for what I have-waiters are very good at this I’ve found even with big groups

DH & I have a longstanding group of friends that we socialise with a lot. We all have similar financial situations. We always split the bill equally & happy to do so.
I have a group of women friends, we all have different financial situations & always pay our own bills when out.
In OPs situation, if another meal out was on the cards, I would be honest and say I would prefer if we each took care of our own bill. A good friend will understand

It’s only really a problem if you’re on a budget, because if we are having a lovely meal out with friends, why risk spoiling it. Although I do know one couple who have been married for 40 yrs that pay individually - she pays separately for hers and he for his.

Takes all kinds

With family and friends it is not a problem, I am happy to share the bill or pay it all but do get cross when friends of friends join the party and order three courses including fillet steak when we are eating pizza or pasta.

It's about awareness really. Some people don't have any and see nothing wrong with expecting non drinkers to pay towards their bottle of wine and 2 brandies. Or to think as a family of four they should still pat the same share as a couple or a single person.
Most people have more cop on and will make sure the bill reflects any large discrepancies in what people had.

ooonana

Thank you all for your very varied advice.Have to say he is a bit of a boozer which I’m not so I’m certainly not funding that every time. I’ll try suggesting separate bills but got a feeling we’re not on the same hymn sheet in lots of ways anyway so may sidestep future meet ups….

I was going to ask how keen are you to meet up again? But you just answered that.

He definitely should have paid enough to cover his drinks. Perhaps he’s a chancer?