Phone calls on Mother's Day

My daughter always goes the extra mile and includes me in her Mothers Day although she is a Mum too. She also reminds my son who lives miles away - as she knows his wife won't prompt him!
I am grateful for all she does -- but just a card from both of them would be lovely - I don't want them spending money on me - - they have enough costs bringing up their families.!

PS Mothering Sunday is one of the oldest dates in the first calendars. It wasn't invented by Hallmark of anyone else!

I actually don't think you should mention it to them because if they phone next Mother’s Day or birthday you won't know if they are only calling because you said you would like them to. Just call them instead, presumably you want to speak to them, so call. No feeling sorry for yourself, just call. If you haven't spoken since Mother’s Day call them now.

Isn't there a saying about an ungrateful child being sharper than a serpents tooth?

Mothering Sunday may be viewed as to who is doing mothering work at present time. I couldn't give it a thought one way or other. Surely nothing upsetting.

I have OK relationships with both DDs who live locally. I messaged them a couple of weeks ago to ask if they would like to come to us on Mothering Sunday for a meal...breakfast, lunch or tea..theDGC all have busy weekends. We decided on a 3p.m. lunch which I prepared. It was a pleasure to do it and fun to be together..the DGC all get on for a few hours. I provided a cooking free day for DDs & they brought a small gift for me. I know I am fortunate & do not take anything for granted.

As my DS & DDiL are moving house next week & DS has to work a lot of Sundays I did not expect to see them yesterday. Thought maybe a card but nothing. Then just after midday doorbell rang. There was my DGS, DGD, DS & DDiL on the doorstep! They had been for breakfast out as treat for DDiL from the children. Then went to her DM then came to me for a quick visit with cards, chocs & Pressie. All totally unexpected but a totally wonderful surprise! So love them all!

Bother with either my birthday or mother's day, not the sons, before anyone jumps on me.

I saw one son for a meal yesterday and ended up paying for my own, whilst the other didn't even bother texting.
It was my birthday in the week too and it was the same scenario for that.
Beginning to wonder why I bother with either.

One son dropped off some flowers & a card a couple of days before, not a word from another son and the one who still lives at home came up with the usual "sorry I forgot" The same excuse he uses every mother/father/birthday Never seem to have any trouble getting in touch when they need anything though, maybe it's time to start treating them with the same lack of respect as they obviously have for me

Both my sons were working on Mothering Sunday and were upset they couldn’t take me out for lunch. It didn’t bother me not going to a crowded restaurant and seeing them over paying for a ‘special’ lunch. We’ll go out when their work schedules allow. I got lovely cards from them and grandchildren, a joint gift I’d suggested and phone calls from both. I feel very blessed

Oh no Nanny2859 so sorry. I hope they phone today.

I thought maybe I'd get a belated gift today... but nothing so far. I'd rather have presence, but a present would be something...and it would show that they thought of me for five minutes, while on Amazon.

So yesterday evening I phoned both of them. Both of them were busy so I said phone me back when you're free. Neither of them called back.

I did forget to wish my DiL a happy Mother's Day. In all fairness I was so busy making a fuss of my Mother and MiL AND my DiL doesn't even read my messages usually, so it would probably have been a complete waste of time.

My son said he didn't get the kids to do anything for her. I was disappointed in him for that, as well.

I totally agree with you DiscoDancer1974.

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My AC both visited on Saturday with gifts and cards. But they are both Mums too and I did not expect to see them on Mothering Sunday. I messaged them to thanks them again on Sunday morning for the lovely gifts and cards and I wished them both a Happy Mothers Day.

I do still have my Mum and I made a big effort for her and for my Mother in law. Both are very elderly. I was happy to spend the time.

In the past I've spent time making gifts and I've had comments from my sister like "Oh it must be nice to have the time!" ( No, I made time)

My son and DiL know I do a lot for my Mum and MiL, but they chose not to make any effort for them either. I ended up buying extra gifts and writing their names on, from them to my my Mother and MiL, because I am ashamed that my son and DiL are so uncaring to everyone. I did not tell them that I gave gifts on their behalf, this, but it made their Grandma's happy so I have no regrets.

When I woke yesterday morning my first thought was 'Oh dear, it's Mother's Day!' Over the years I have grown to dislike this annual ritual, in particular the expensive cards, flowers and chocolates and general commercialism of what used to be a simple Christian event.

Two of our sons rarely send cards or gifts, and a visit means a 200 mile round trip. So I'm more than happy with just a phone call, just hearing their voices is lovely. They called yesterday. The third one visited with his family and brought expensive flowers and chocolates. It was kind of them but I just wish they had spent the money on themselves and just popped round with the kids as usual.

I must sound very ungrateful. I'm not really. It will be the same for Father's Day and our birthdays. I guess I'm just not keen on these 'special' days which seem to have become so important now.

This thread has made me feel better. I’ve been a bit upset about having just received a text from one of my daughter’s. She sent it at just before 7pm. That is in the context of very little contact from her at all!

Mother's Day does focus the mind on not having our own mothers anymore. When I went through my mothers papers after she died she'd kept one particular mother's day card from me which she told me she loved, picture of a tabby cat who was a dead ringer of "our" cat who I'd acquired as a kitten when I was a child. We both doted on him. I miss not buying a Mother's Day Card.

So sorry Boheminan that's sad , especially as you were in hospital!

It is a lot of "commercial hoo-ha" but it's also true that a small gift or token of love can mean a lot. It's been a hard year for everyone. I would happily go without a gift if he would actually make time (even half an hour) to see me. But, in the absence of actual "presence" a present would have been something

I agree it is a load of commercial hoo ha! I got a phone call from one who said he had posted his card first class on Friday, it arrived today Monday, never mind the thought was there, he also offered to take me for a meal when I next see him, I know he will do his best to direct me to Waggamama's because that's where he likes to eat My other son hand delivered his card and his children's card plus a bunch of flowers, I'm just happy when they think of me, so no complaints.

I received nothing from my three daughters, no phone calls, cards even though I was in hospital. That hurts

I had cards from three of mine and a FT call from my eldest, who is in the US, where it wasn’t Mothers Day. I didn’t speak to any of the others though there were messages on our chat group.

I have to say, it would drive me potty if my DC phoned me several times a day!

To clarify that, my older son has refused to make any plans with me this year or speak to me on the phone - not even once in 2022.

If I was his wife, I'd encourage him to make an effort with his Mother to set a good example to the children of how you treat your Mother. I have always done this with my husband, do as you would be done by, I say. Kids are watching, learning all the time. What goes around...