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AIBU

AIBU - Friends have booked same holiday

(112 Posts)
LizzyG Mon 11-Apr-22 13:36:59

A few weeks ago we booked a cruise for this September. We've been on quite a lot previously but this one is on a brand new Virgin ship with what we imagine to be a lot of quirky differences than we've experienced in the past and we are really looking forward to it.
Our friends wanted to know all about it as they are keen cruisers too and they really loved the sound of the ship and the itinerary. I think they were maybe even angling for us to say "come with us" but we didn't as we prefer to holiday just as a couple.
Last night they rang to let us know that they've booked the same ship, the same itinerary and even used our booking as a means of getting a discount to match what we got it for but they're going a month before us.
My husband is really floored by this as he says that he wanted to experience everything for ourselves, good and bad but now they will be keen to tell us all the pros and cons and nothing will be fresh and exciting for us. He feels like they're stealing our thunder.
I'm not as upset as he is as I will say to the friends that we don't want to know all the details so as not to spoil things but he is quite upset by it and it's really taken the shine off the whole booking for him.
He is a bit down with other things at the moment and this seems to have really knocked him for six.
AIBU to think that these friends shouldn't have done what they did?

Grannyeggs Tue 12-Apr-22 17:21:30

I think it’s a storm in the proverbial tea cup. You obviously made it sound rather enticing, so went and copied you. I agree with Mine, be flattered and maybe tell them you don’t want to hear about it until you get back and then meet up and exchange experiences. Life’s too short , just enjoy the holiday and have fun.

Mine Tue 12-Apr-22 17:02:12

Take it as a compliment...They probably know you & hubby have good taste and only go on the best cruises...If they try & talk bout the holiday when they come back just say jokingly please don't tell us anything we want it to be a surprise...

Dylant1234 Tue 12-Apr-22 16:49:43

I don’t really like the phrase ‘first world problem’ but here it’s very apt. What with the horrors in Ukraine, starvation in Afghanistan and elsewhere, the pandemic still rife, the cost of living crisis and your husband is sulking because………. someone has booked the same cruise - not even at the same time!
He really needs to get a grip - is it a genuine post?!?

Tangerine Tue 12-Apr-22 16:45:09

I do agree that perhaps they shouldn't have used the discount without mentioning it to you first but I don't think it's worth getting upset about and perhaps ruining a friendship.

Tangerine Tue 12-Apr-22 16:43:59

I think you should ask them not to tell you too much about their experiences when they return.

To be truthful, I think your husband's reaction is a little too much.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and I think they must have thought that, if you were going, the holiday must be good.

queenofsaanich69 Tue 12-Apr-22 16:31:25

Look on the bright side they may mention some must see destinations or the fact that certain side trips book up before you travel—-I can see how you would be amazed about them booking before you were going,have fun anyway.

Dustyhen2010 Tue 12-Apr-22 16:27:23

I agree with the majority here in that it isn't something to ruminate over. It sounds like OH is obsessing a bit about it and possibly as he is a bit down this feeling of being floored could have occurred with any perceived negative situation. You are lucky they are not going at the same time as you. Obviously I don't know the route but it may be that a later booking would have meant the chance of cooler weather so that is why they booked an earlier one. I think if they are very close friends I would have been happy for them to get a good price using my name as an introduction. I do think though you should make a deal that they say nothing to you about their trip and then following yours you can meet for a full 'debrief' which would be fun. You are blessed to be able to go on the cruise. I hope you have a fantastic time.

Tanjamaltija Tue 12-Apr-22 16:02:59

Tell them not to spoil it for you. End of story - it could have been woirse... they could have tagged along with you.

Sawsage2 Tue 12-Apr-22 15:56:38

Its ridiculous and childish. Yes you are being unreasonable.

icanhandthemback Tue 12-Apr-22 15:30:06

It does sound a little off to use you to get a discount without saying anything first. All I can say, is it has cost you nothing apart from the worry that they will ruin things for you by talking about it.
Just don't meet up with them and avoid looking at any messages until you have been. If you are on social media, just hide any of their content once they've set off on their journey.
Thank your lucky stars that they aren't going with you, that's what my Mum and Aunt did when we booked a holiday as a family.
Its not unreasonable to think they shouldn't have done it but it would probably be unreasonable to make a big song and a dance over it, especially if you take damage limitation control!

Sueki44 Tue 12-Apr-22 15:02:21

I’m with LizzyG! Seems like a deliberate attempt to preempt your holiday. Just refuse to talk about it until you’ve had your trip and then you can compare notes.

Audi10 Tue 12-Apr-22 14:36:31

Well why tell them then in the first place! I can’t see why anyone would be floored! Like one of the earlier posters mentioned or was it you didn’t want them stealing your thunder! They are not even going the same time! Honestly! No big deal ?

grannie7 Tue 12-Apr-22 14:11:28

LizzyG
I don’t think you are being unreasonable, yes I can understand some of the comments but not the nasty ones.

I think it’s a da***d cheek using your booking to get a reduction
in their costs.I am afraid I would be on to the cruise company asking how they had felt it was perfectly alright to give someone who may or may not be known to you the financial details of your booking.They obviously haven’t heard of the
data protection laws which they have clearly broken.
These friends of yours could have been anyone a scammer even
the cruise line had no evidence that you even know these people.
I think when it comes down to it that might be one of the reasons your husband is so upset.
Enjoy your cruise don’t let this ruin it.

moorlikeit Tue 12-Apr-22 13:58:41

I too thought you were going to say they were going on the same dates as you, and that would be good cause for upset.

But as it is I cannot see any reason to be upset at all. They are perfectly entitled to choose the same holiday - you do not have exclusive rights to this cruise option! Your husband's reaction is childish and unnecessary and will only spoil his own enjoyment, so very self-defeating. If I were in the same situation, I would have told him to grow up.

Aepgirl Tue 12-Apr-22 13:58:17

I cannot believe that you can be irritated by this, it’s not as if a ship that carries thousands of people is exclusive. You’ve probably extolled the virtues of this holiday so much that you’ve ‘sold’ it to them - it’s your own fault for boasting.

Shazmo24 Tue 12-Apr-22 13:55:46

My parents in law used to do this...not with cruises but countries. If we said we were thinking of going to a country they would go there before us.
We then started to say we wanted to visit a country that we had NO intention of going to They would go and tell us all about it and we just said "that's nice" in a Mrs Brown voice lol and say we had gone off it

annodomini Tue 12-Apr-22 13:55:32

Supposing they had booked the cruise even before they had heard about it from you. You'd have dismissed it as coincidence, and thought no more about it. So they're going before you. So what!

Sue450 Tue 12-Apr-22 13:47:29

Stuff happens, I remember when my dd birthday was coming up it was her 11th she wanted her ears pierced and she told her friends who lived next door they promptly went and had there’s pierced before she did. She was so angry she never told them anything again. Perhaps that what you should do in future.

coastalgran Tue 12-Apr-22 13:40:58

You sold the thing to them by being so enthusiastic and dare I say it a bit smug about the whole thing. You better hope that this lives up to every word of your description or you will never hear the end of it and neither will any friends that you share jointly. I do hope that you haven't gilded the lily.

Nannyknee Tue 12-Apr-22 13:38:39

I really wouldn’t be upset at all. You actually enthused about it and gave them the idea. You are being far too sensitive. If they had booked the same dates I may be able to agree with you

Zoejory Tue 12-Apr-22 13:25:59

Like others I thought they'd booked at the same time as you! I certainly would have been horrified about that.

As it is, I'd not worry. Wish them well and say you'll look forward to discussing the trips after you're both back.

Greciangirl Tue 12-Apr-22 13:20:37

My goodness!!

Your husband is upset about friends booking the same cruise as you. Yet they aren’t going at the same time as you.
What’s to be upset about.
When they come back they can tell you the pro’s and the cons if there are any.

I certainly wouldn’t be upset about the prospect of a luxury cruise.

Saggi Tue 12-Apr-22 13:19:23

A cruise liner uses 80,000 gals of fossil fuel per day! Shame either of you are going on a cruise. Should be the first things banned in the name of conservation.

jerseygirl Tue 12-Apr-22 13:15:59

I thought you were going to say they were going at the same time as you. Thank goodness that isn't happening. I would do as you say and ask them not to tell you about it. I wouldn't let it worry you. Have a fantastic time.

susie14 Tue 12-Apr-22 13:14:43

I can see where you're coming from but take it as flattery that you have good taste. Personally I would listen to their adventures, you might pick up tips on things to do or not to do on board. Listening is free.

Have a wonderful cruise.