To talk to kids about this

Gosh yes the need to shock I remember in my early teens or maybe mid teens buying a summer vest top in army green and had the insignia of an American jail I can’t remember which one san Quinton or similar on the front and a number on the back My darling Nan who I adored was so horrified and upset and begged me not to wear it which made me wear it all the more
Sorry Nan

With my own dds, if I secretly disapproved of anything (e.g. odd hair colour, too many ear piercings) I pretended to love whatever it was, that usually did the trick after a while. From experience, at that sort of age, your elders being anti whatever it is, only makes them more keen

I read differently when our girls were teens Witzend. Apparently they want to shock & be ‘different’ so best to be ‘horrified’ otherwise the teens will up the ante as the need to stand out somehow is strong at this age. If you go along with what they’re presenting with they’d be disappointed and go back to the drawing board!

This is a replica of a post on Mumsnet told from the mother's point of view.

When I was 12y at school there were two girls who, every playtime, pretended they were horses because that’s what they both wanted to be. They used to canter over the tarmac and grass,, shaking their (imaginary) manes and neighing. They grew out of it. Strange teenage girl behaviour.

At 12 I wanted to be a Vulcan. It passed. Although I can still do the Live Long and Prosper hand without using the other hand to separate my fingers.

What do you do …..absolutely nothing it’s fine she ll either grow out if it or into it either way, her choice, sounds totally normal
I remember when I was early teens I was quite blonde and tanned easily I was once asked if I was Swedish I thought that was wonderful and played on it with strangers

ende13 why ??

When I was that age, I wished I looked Italian. I am Irish and Scottish descent.

I do think that it is much more taboo today, but it is not an unusual phase for children to go through.

You just let it go and move on. they will in short time as well.

May I ask why you think you should do something?

Do nothing. DD2 was a goth at that age, DS was a something else. You can identify as anything now. An alien, a cat, a they - Korean is beautiful.

What do I do? ..... absolutely nothing.

grannyactivist

mokryna I remember the slanted ‘cat’s eye’ look of the 60’s that was popularised by Sophia Loren. I never used to wear make up beyond a touch of lipstick, but my school-friends talked of spending hours perfecting the eyeliner ‘flick’.

And they were wearing 60s colour styled mini dresses. I was quite envious.

My husband's DGD2is a huge Kpop fan, she is 12 as well. Her birthday present was tickets for a Korean band on 1st May, her mother is taking her, that day happens to be Mum's birthday, think she'd rather be doing something else!

mokryna I remember the slanted ‘cat’s eye’ look of the 60’s that was popularised by Sophia Loren. I never used to wear make up beyond a touch of lipstick, but my school-friends talked of spending hours perfecting the eyeliner ‘flick’.

I saw my teenaged GDs today and they had made their eyes slanted. Really don’t worry we always think the others have got something better than us.
I always wanted straight hair

She's twelve. She'll probably grow out of it and if she doesn't, well, you'll just have to accept it as her choice.

I follow someone on Twitter who is based in Newfoundland, Canada, whose only daughter moved to Korea and married a Korean. Her parents only see her once a year (less during covid times) but she is happy so they're happy for her.

Would you find your GD's ideas troubling if she was wishing she were, say, Canadian?

I used to childmind a blond-haired blue-eyed boy who complained to his mum that he wished she and his dad were black, so he could be a better basketball player ?

Korean pop culture is hugely influential in the UK - my Chinese (foster) grandchild - who lives in Devon - is envied by her friends because she has the ‘coveted’ eyes and hair, but she is also gifted at drawing in the Korean Anime style.

Youngsters have always emulated their cultural icons endel3 and I’m sure another fashion will come along to be followed eventually. I do understand that the ‘cultural appropriation’ aspect may feel slightly unsettling though.

It’s just a phase. I’d bet anything she’ll soon have grown out of it and be on to something else.

With my own dds, if I secretly disapproved of anything (e.g. odd hair colour, too many ear piercings) I pretended to love whatever it was, that usually did the trick after a while. From experience, at that sort of age, your elders being anti whatever it is, only makes them more keen.

How about buying her a Teach Yourself Korean course (if you can find a a cheap one) and tell her you’re sure she’ll soon be racing through it - you’ll look forward to hearing her!

My niece was teaching in Korea and all the girls wanted to look European..its life ..wanting to be someone else and inspired by the media. Just ignore it .

In "our" day, kids became mods, or rockers, then we had flower power, goths etc etc. With all the new technology the youngsters now have even more trends to get involved with.

Her mum is quite correct. Just go with the flow - she will most likely get bored with it all and change her direction to something new.

Nothing, she’s 12, up to her parents, a lot of children have phases, I wouldn’t worry about it.

maddyone

I’d ignore it. It’s probably a phase. She’s not doing any harm is she?

Don’t know… Pretending to be another race feels wrong…

I’d ignore it. It’s probably a phase. She’s not doing any harm is she?