Remember When?

? yes. I’ve though this for a long while. And I’ve come to the conclusion that the best “nights out “ were at proper cabaret venues where you got dressed up (by order of the management) had a drink or two, watched a performance, dined at a table with service and then had a good ?? ? dance after which you queued for your coats at the cloakroom then jumped into a waiting taxi home dropping your companions off en route.
None working nights only obviously.

Next best would be a blockbuster film at the cinema with all the trimmings ie noisy popcorn and rustling sweet wrappers washed down with a fizzy drink.
I remember when they were so packed nobody noticed the sound of someone nearby crunching popcorn.
They multiplexes are often half empty and the atmosphere is not the same
However some areas have nice and cosy cinemas

I do not think age has anything to do with it, it all depends on what your interests are and where in your area you can access them

As a young woman I quickly tired of social events of the kind you mention. I much preferred to get involved with other people through pursuing things that interested me: the sailing club, politics, music when I was young, various children focussed groups when my children were small and since then archaeology, friends on a one to one basis, environmental and heritage causes.

I do Tai Chi and when we are doing our class I hear the music from the Tea Dance group in the adjacent hall.

Yes, where you live will affect what is available in your area, that was why my parents, when they retired, fully researched any area they were considering moving to check that it had organisations that offered activities that interested them. My mother died in her late 80s, my father in his early 90s and both were leading active social lives to the end.

We are all different and even when we are old there is enormous divergence in what we do with our time - as there was when we were young

I've always enjoyed staying in, luckily.
I do miss having mates to stay in with, though.

Have you thought of trying out the meetup app, beautybumble?
They usually have a lot of groups for people who like a social evening out.

I have found there are heaps more things to do after you retire than when you were young. Really social things, sports,crafts, dancing, intellectual pursuits , study. I feel as though I go out more than at any other time in my life bar perhaps uni age. If there is nothing to do where you live start something up. It’s not hard.

I agree with Monica not an age thing more about interests.
I live in a small town but there are dozens of clubs and societies , crafts, history, sport and exercise, photography etc etc. Also dancing of various types.

Each to her own, but I really don’t like having to ‘dress up’ for anything nowadays. Thankfully it’s a rare event now!

As for cinemas, I much prefer them half empty, like our local when we went to see Operation Mincemeat the other day - on purpose on a weekday afternoon, so we wouldn’t be surrounded by annoying people talking, looking at their phones, rustling sweet papers, etc.

I never really enjoyed discos, house parties, jam packed pubs with everyone posing around etc but they seemed to be the only social life available when I was young.

Much prefer nice meals, theatre, joining local activities etc and have a far better social life now than I did back then.

I don’t like having to get dressed up for anything nowadays. We’re all different, I would hate going out dancing (loved it in my teens though) and much prefer what nanna8 described as intellectual pursuits, mainly history, in a small group or at home - I guess I’m quite a solitary person so having nowhere to go doesn’t bother me at all. In fact I’m quite grateful for it!

I have to admit that I detest going out in the evenings for anything.

Thank goodness, all my many interest groups meet during the daytime - so I can attend as many as I wish.

I have found that there is a very large amount of things arranged for and by pensioners. Do feel rather sorry for young people as with the closing of things like Youth Clubs, not really much for them to do - so they just 'hang out' and trouble finds them.

My thoughts too Witzend

It does depend where you live, we have loads going on relatively near us, including a club where they have dinner dances (makes me shudder) monthly jazz bands, tribute bands, comedy club etc.also has a restaurant and rooms. There are local pubs with live music, numerous groups with various activities from rambling to an art group. Something to suit most people.

I suppose I’m lucky. My smallish village has a Book Group which meets monthly. I am secretary of the local WI which has at least one outing a month. I also volunteer at a nearby historical institution. We have a flourishing Local History Society. OH and I go out for lunch once a week and the cinema when there is something reasonable on. Before the pandemic struck I did weekly in-person courses at the V&A in London and the odd Day School in Oxford. Now, these are mainly online. Before I retired I made a list of all the things I wanted to do and I have pretty well kept to that. Of course, I also stay with my son and his family and look after my granddaughter. I sometimes meet other son in a gallery or museum and take him out for lunch. My daughter buys me afternoon tea. I always vowed that I wasn’t going to turn into a vegetable if I could help it!

I’ve lived in the same area for over 30 years. There is very little to do here. I have scoured social media, local papers and the library but so far no success. There’s not much of a community at all. In fact I wouldn’t want to stay here if it wasn’t for my GC living nearby. Even the U3A has closed down.

I hate dressing up,can`t stand party`s or large gatherings.
Enjoy being with family and a few good friends.
I`m contented with my lot.

I don't mind my own company luckily, nothing at all in our village, there used to be a History group once a fortnight and a monthly coffee morning keeps trying to open up and then closes when people have caught covid.
I did look up the U3A in my local town when we first moved.
I enjoy the peace and quiet no more dinner parties or large gatherings to caterer for. No more spending on clothes to go to events.
When the weather gets better everyone puts a seat in their front garden and people come for an informal chat.
I'm lucky I still have DH and we go out for the day together.

I used to love wearing full length evening dresses to go to a club or party with friends but not now. I prefer meeting people during the day for lunch or coffee.
I find driving after dark difficult now too so happy to stay at home.

Generally, I prefer going out in the daytime than evenings. If we do go out n the evenings it's to a country pub for a good meal.
We've got a dinner/dance coming up soon and I'm really not looking forward to it at all!

Do you have an enthusiastic U3A group in your area, beautybumble? The range of groups and activities on offer is astonishing.

Where I live there are numerous groups, clubs and activities, day and evening, especially for older people. It is the young people who say there is nothing for them, unless you are keen on sport, though they would be welcome at any of the interest groups apart from U3a.

Hello beautybumble if you still like dancing and singing see if there is a dance class or singing group nearby that you could join. Like to dress up, treat yourself to an Afternoon Tea. Are you able to drive or is there a bus route that you could use to get to group activities? There may be someone at one of these clubs/groups who lives near you and would be willing to give you a lift. The world is your oyster think about what you would like to do and get out there and enjoy yourself.

I was so glad when the many business dinners and dinner parties finally stopped, all that dressing up and polite conversation and boring speeches

I am most definitely not a twinset and pearls person and love my own company, I had never lived alone for 67 years and now I relish it. There is plenty on offer where I live but nothing suits, I honestly prefer to go out cycling by myself or gardening on hands and knees to connect with nature.

u3a is not for me, I can see the benefits for people but I am never bored nor needy. I can chat comfortably with everyone I meet, that will do me. Sing -songs, bingo, bridge, exercises from a chair, no thanks. The only thing I might do is go back to a hobby group, when it re-opens. I am another one who is very content

Isn’t life funny how different we are I have never been to a do where you wear a long evening gown AGA
Yes I used to love discos with very very short dresses and loud music but I m more at home on my allotment now life changes and we all change
I enjoy my sea dips and my volunteering work I like talking to anybody and everybody I go to the cinema ( when there’s anything decent on) but I don’t go out in the evenings any more and don’t care I m too sleepy by then
We have a local community theatre that puts on loads of groups but they don’t beckon me perhaps I m lazy now

Our local communiyt used to run bridge groups, yoga etc. but these all stopped during lockdown.

The older people (bridge groups mainly) seem reluctant to come back to the groups, though this seems to be improving slowly as the nights are getting lighter.

Has the OP tried looking for U3A activities or contacted an community halls to see if they offer anything.

There is another post on here about noise everywhere. I suppose there are pro and cons wherever you live. A big city has more to offer but can be noisy. The countryside is more peaceful but can be a bit boring if you like stuff going on.

*local community hall - sorry typed in a rush, should have previewed!