Remember When?

Have you thought about joining the U3A - so many groups to join? The WI, which unusually has small groups attached to it like the book club, scrabble group, walking group, whist, crafts. There’s probably a local choir you could join. I’m 77 and live alone but joining these groups fills so much of my time, and now I’ve just joined a low impact tap dancing class.

You really have to make the effort to join in and not wait for an invitation.

In my area there is zilch locally. With the pandemic came Zoom - what a marvel.

I have tried - all via Zoom, writers events (Arvon), political meetings, a short online course, church, chair yoga and prayer groups and meditation.

I still do some and it has widened my social activities!

Zoom has been an eye opener.

Have you tried U3A?( the University of the Third Age. )
www.u3a.org.uk/

Here's the introductory message - ^u3a is a UK-wide collection of 1000+ charities that provide the opportunity for those no longer in work to come together and learn for fun.

Make the most of life and join more than 430,000 members exploring new ideas, skills and interests with your local u3a.^

Don;t be put off by the word university. In my area the groups vary from lunching with single people, Bridge, Scrabble, walking, theatre visits, drama, science, art, etc etc etc. There are about 40 groups, most held in people's homes, all run by members. Hopefully you should be able to find a branch in your area and try out anything that appeals to you.

Im not a ' club/ group' type of person. Though I have been to classes occasionally. I'm happy reading, pottering about the garden, spending time with my grandchild. Everyone is different and if some enjoy clubs, then good on them. Sadly even theatre has changed. I don't know why people attend, it's certainly not to watch the show. Constant drinking and selfie taking. Fine, but often they are unaware that people are sitting nearby who actually want to watch the performance. Sadly, I rarely attend theatre now.

I think that in smaller communities , what entertainment on offer is controlled by demand.
In my village, we had a monthly tea meeting that was really well supported for many years but one by one, the members passed away, including those that organised it each month. The village holiday group went the same way as well as the luncheon group.
I was president of our village WI and I had to close that down 20 years ago because the fall in membership (due also to age factors) made it no longer viable to run financially.
Maybe you could canvas your community and see if there are other people that would like to get together either in your local pub, or community hall to form a social group to do things like crafts or dancing or going for meals ? Then start a group?

I don't think there is much for anyone to do any more. A lady in her 80s approached my daughter in the pub (she was out for lunch with grandson) and asked her if she would sit with her as she was lonely. She had children and grandchildren who can all drive but never came to see her. There should be no need for anyone to be in a position like this. More should be done in communities to avoid people feeling like this.

I have yet to find anyone my age (77) who shares my interests. I love F1, reading Fantasy & Sci-Fi, Ancient History, Rock/Metal, collecting Dragons. Nowhere in our Village to go to so stay home with the things I like. Lonely? Yes sometimes!

Recommend u3a. Search online for groups in your area. My local u3a has about 40 different interest groups including singing, square dancing, quilting, bowls, languages, walking, history, board games.... It's always possible for members to suggest new ideas for groups and if there is enough interest it is soon under way. Hope you find what you are looking for.

Are you able to galvanise any support in setting up a book club or coffee mornings, if there are other like minded people in your area they would probability help set something up

I find it very, very frustrating when people say ‘where I live’; ‘in my village’; ‘our local community’ etc…. and you haven’t a clue as to where that is. (There I’ve said it.)
Why don’t people say where they live - it could be useful if it turns out that you live in the same place. You might be recommending somewhere or even arrange to meet for coffee if someone is lonely.

That isn’t a good idea. Anyone can read what’s posted here. I only give my general area, nothing too specific.

People are wary of putting too much info on a forum that anyone can see, I suppose?

I left a couple of u3a groups as they were run either by bossy types or very competitive men who didn't want to play unless you were up to their standard. I enjoyed my tech class but since covid I haven't gone back.Im worried about my walking friends as I had a bad fall recently and don't yet feel fit enough to go with them.
I'm lucky that I enjoy being at home and don't need to get dressed up.

I loved the days of getting all dressed up with your friends and heading out for a night of drinks and dancing, sometimes a house party afterwards and back home at 3 am.
Nowadays we go to the theatre, musical shows and tribute acts which we enjoy a lot. We have a meal and a couple of drinks in a nearby restaurant before the show and sometimes can have a wee dance at the end. Then I'm home and in my PJs with my feet up by 11pm and that suits me down to the ground. Plus there are no 5 inch stiletto heels in the picture nowadays.

Theres lots of things for older people where I live. It's all advertised on Facebook or on the Local or County Council websites. Also look into U3A or women's Probus. Plenty of Bookclubs and some chair yoga. Walking clubs if you are fit. Green Bowls. Ive joined a choir. Even knit and natter. I think you have to go look for it. Libraries and Community Centres are often a good place to look.

I miss going to the Great British Rhythm and Blues Festival in Colne each August. Fantastic live music, big names, new faces, a chance to dance. It always felt like I’d found where I belonged. sadly so much has changed I couldn’t go now and I’m now sure it would be the same. I miss my people!

I have never had nothing to do especially since I reached retiring age.
My DC think I have a better social life than they do and I possibly do.
Our town has plenty of groups and activities for older people. (U3A, Bowling Club, swimming and sports of all kinds, book clubs, WRI, Church groups and choirs, art groups, Men's shed, Folk Club and a cinema each week)

There's a day centre for older people too. DMiL goes twice a week and loves it. She has a good lunch and entertainment.

The town lacks activities for the teenagers though and everything costs money.
There used to be a cafe with a juke box which was popular when my DC were younger but it closed. There were discos too.
Now that the buses are free for under 22s, I see groups of youngsters heading into Edinburgh.

You have to make an effort to get involved. You cannot expect things to come to you.

I learned as a child to keep myself occupied. I have lived alone since my daughters got married in the early 2000's. My husband had already moved to pastures new in 1985, having worked away from home for the 12 previous years. I knit, cook, sew, bake and am hoping to go back to doing embroidery which i learned to do as a child. I so glad i don't need to be entertained. I keep myself busy.

Stuff for older people here seems to bingo (which I loathe) or someone wheeled in to sing wartime songs, perfectly oblivious to fact that a lot of us grew up to the Beatles and Stones, not Vera Lynn!!

Once I got out of my 20s I grew to hate parties. All that cigarette smoke, standing around pretending to enjoy yourself and talking to people about things that were of no interest. I also detested pubs because as a non smoker I always came out smelling it on my clothes and hair.

I did enjoy going bowling and when the local alley closed it was too far to go to the next one.

Ive always enjoyed shopping for the home and used to love the designer stores. Im also an antiques collecter and liked poking about at antique fairs, markets and car boots. Now Im not so mobile but I bid on online auctions and enjoy the excitement of it. Not the same as being in the saleroom but bidding online has some advantages.

Riggie

Stuff for older people here seems to bingo (which I loathe) or someone wheeled in to sing wartime songs, perfectly oblivious to fact that a lot of us grew up to the Beatles and Stones, not Vera Lynn!!

That sounds like an old people's home!

That’s what I thought too.

Our U3A offers 50+ varied groups from the strenuous activities right through to knit and natter.

Seems to depend on where you live. We moved in 2017 just before I retired. Lots to do here in Falkirk, Scotland. You might find something via this link www.ageuk.org.uk/get-involved/social-groups/
U3A can also have a wide range of activities.If you're quite rural, there might also be online groups you can join.
As someone has suggested - canvas your neighbours to see whether others would like to start some activities or simply meet up for coffee and a chat. If you've a church nearby, they might be willing to start a group for local people with no requirement to be a church member ( one possibility is a Renew Wellbeing café).
Hope you manage to find some activities to get involved in.

beautybumble Hire your local hall and organise a dance! Raise money for charity - decide on a dress code if you want to dress up. Make it 'bring your own bottle' if there is no bar at the hall. Small village near to us has recently started to do this every few weeks - some times a 'formal dance night' other's a 60's night etc.