Old woman!

Hithere

This is the thing: people cannot read your mind how you feel age wise in your brain

I am middle aged but my brain feels like 20 years younger - it doesnt match my exterior and I had to accept it.

I know that my brain is the same age as the rest of me, and the last twenty years have added to my brain rather than diminished it. It is the brain of someone with that much more experience. I suggest this is the same for everyone.

I think it is ageist to object to apparent age being noticed.

It suggests that there's something wrong with being old, or looking old.

There isn't.

You could have asked whether they would be there faster or slower for an old woman than they would for a young man? Or a fat woman or a bald man? Or whether all customers were equally valued? And if they were all equal, why bother to point out your age?

Baggs

It suggests that there's something wrong with being old, or looking old.

There isn't.

You really can't see it can you!

Apart from the fact that ageism is quite rife in the UK - try the job market if you want proof (and I don't mean being a waitress in Waitrose's coffee shop) - it's irrelevant.

As is "there's someone at the till, a black man". Factual - if he was indeed black... but would she have said that, and would you be defending her for it? And why would it be relevant?

If kircubbin2000 had looked frail - the cleaner should have said "there's an elderly lady waiting to be served"... to add urgency to the information.

Words matter. They are meant to. It's to do with respect for others.

Dickens

Baggs

It suggests that there's something wrong with being old, or looking old.

There isn't.

You really can't see it can you!

Apart from the fact that ageism is quite rife in the UK - try the job market if you want proof (and I don't mean being a waitress in Waitrose's coffee shop) - it's irrelevant.

As is "there's someone at the till, a black man". Factual - if he was indeed black... but would she have said that, and would you be defending her for it? And why would it be relevant?

If kircubbin2000 had looked frail - the cleaner should have said "there's an elderly lady waiting to be served"... to add urgency to the information.

Words matter. They are meant to. It's to do with respect for others.

I like the comment doodledog made about how it is done on Question Time. That is good.

All I'm saying is that I don't see being called an old woman as insulting in any way if one is an old woman as opposed to a young woman.

I agree that "woman" or person would have been sufficient but no, I don't accept that old woman or old man is wrong.

As the OP said, "that's how others see us". This could be because that is how we are: old, as opposed to young.

Shrug.

Maybe the cleaner thought KirC would get served sooner if she mentioned the air of oldness. Who knows?

How very rude! And upsetting. She should have said, There's a lady waiting to be served. Age had no relevance.
I also hate when I am at a till and the assistant says, do you need a wee bag?& put your wee card in, etc. They only do it with older ladies.

there's someone at the till

That was quite sufficient to alert someone to the fact that someone needed to be served.

I remember being horrified a few weeks after I was married ( I was 21) when a young lad in the Co-op said to his colleague, “ I’m just serving this wumman’! Me, a ‘wumman’!
I think ‘lady’ would be preferable. Unless you’re a gentleman, of course.

It was extremely rude. If you had been a younger woman, whould she have said 'There's someone at the till, a young woman'

In this situation she should just have said. 'Customer at the till, waitin to be served'

How charming some people do not know common courtesy let alone customer service skills. I remember going to Morrisons cafe and being at the till with a tray full of food for our auntie and myself. I was only 50 and the girl asked if me if I was a pensioner I was mortified. I slammed the tray down and said I didn’t go there to be insulted so we would go elsewhere.
I suggested her career won’t go any further as she lacked the ability to gauge peoples age. I know it’s sounded hard but I was menopausal and feeling super sensitive at the time.

I would've taken my custom elsewhere. How rude!

It wasn't the shops fault though, just a rude cleaner.

I suppose it's no worse than asking someone when the baby is due when they are infact just fat.
However I think everyone knows that describing someone as old is not a compliment. So I am sorry you had to endure that KirkC
I was swimming in the pool with DD when she was about 10. Another child asked me if she could swim with my granddaughter! I was mid 40s at the time so old enough to be a granny but I hoped I looked younger!

The young woman (not girl!) at the cafe till had possibly been instructed to ask whether customers were of pensionable age to ascertain whether they were eligible for a discount. She made a mistake.

I was somewhere over 60 when I was on my way home after a tiring day at the chalk face. Three young men of about 15 were playing football across the road. As I approached one picked up the ball and called to the other two ‘Make way for the elderly!’ - I thanked them and passed on. I was far more surprised at and grateful for their courtesy than concerned that I had been described as ‘elderly’ for the first time in my life.
Twenty years later when making my way through a crowd I occasionally call out ‘Little old lady coming through!’ To clear a passage.

At a Q and A session at the Hay Literary Festival, the interviewer pointed to someone sitting behind us and said: "the gentleman with the blue jumper, yes you". The 'gentleman' opened with:"my husband and I... " I don't know who was most embarrassed, the poor interviewer or the lady behind us. We were just trying hard not to giggle.

Oh dear. I always felt that David Dimbleby was rude when on QT he pointed out ‘the woman wearing … ‘.

I'm afraid that there are moments when 'Lily Savage' pops unbidden from my lips.
"Yes, an old woman who doesn't sweep floors for a living"!
Now, before you all jump on me, I absolutely respect cleaners, janitors, porters etc, they're all working, and doing jobs that I personally wouldn't want to do, and I am ALWAYS polite to them, but that rude and ignorant woman deserved a put down!

I think the reason (one of them anyway) people find being thought or spoken of as old is that they associate cognitive decline with any sign of age, such as wrinkly skin and grey hair. This is daft.

I wouldn’t really bring old into anything, I’d have said can someone serve please, there’s a lady at the till or there’s a customer waiting to be served! But that’s me !

Generally speaking, specifically calling someone 'old' is not usually meant as a neutral comment, and seldom as a compliment - except for the backhanded one which describes an older woman as "good for her age" (or a man, come to that).

The medical community might refer to the 'older' population in relation to some specific disease or condition - but this comment from the cleaner was personal and she announced it publicly.

It was bad mannered - and simply unnecessary.

And, Baggs... I think the reason (one of them anyway) people find being thought or spoken of as old is that they associate cognitive decline with any sign of age, such as wrinkly skin and grey hair. This is daft. It is daft... but, it's a widely held perception. And as for GSM's mother being described as "the old woman in the corner"... what's wrong with "the elderly lady in the corner"?

Good manners cost little effort.

I would have looked around the shop and then said " I can't see any old woman"!

I really fail to see how 'old' is in any way an insult. It is a factual comment as, indeed is the term woman.

Thanks to good genes and a wonderful NHS I have managed to live for 81 years. Yes, I am an old woman. Nothing to be particularly proud or ashamed about. It is just a fact.