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AIBU

Old woman!

(118 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Mon 06-Jun-22 12:58:12

I'm disgusted this morning. I went down to the small supermarket and no one was manning the tills. I looked around and asked the cleaner where they all were. She shouted down the shop ' there's someone at the till, an old woman!' That's nice I said but she didn't apologise.
So that's how others see us.

Grammaretto Tue 07-Jun-22 10:26:57

You should be correct Franbern but regretfully you are not. Old is never used as a compliment. Congratulations on achieving your 81 years but if I was to describe you as old, it would be an insult.

Bellanonna Tue 07-Jun-22 10:46:27

Baggs, I disagree with your defence of “old”. IMHO there was no need for an adjective of any kind. “Someone” , “a lady”, or “a customer” is waiting. Why should any kind of description be needed? And while being elderly is just a fact, the word “old” to describe someone is usually perjorative.

dragonfly46 Tue 07-Jun-22 12:26:46

I fell over the other day and badly injured my face. A lovely young man came out of his house, gave me a bag of frozen sweet corn to help the pain and drove me round the corner to the walk in centre. I thanked him profusely and he said he hoped someone would do the same for his gran!
It brought me up short but realised that I could have been his gran.

Esmay Tue 07-Jun-22 12:36:58

It is very rude .
I'd rather be called lady !
Customer would be the correct /more polite term .

About 25 years ago ,I heard my friend's husband (who actually knew me ) describe me as some foreign woman at the door !
I'm not foreign and I didn't like being called woman !

Coppernob Tue 07-Jun-22 12:37:06

The other day I said to my 8 year old granddaughter "You've got a silly old Granny". Her immediate response "You're not silly Granny". Out of the mouths of babes......! I'm 72.

Aepgirl Tue 07-Jun-22 12:44:08

I was at the theatre bar a while ago, with a token issued by the theatre for a free drink for myself and a friend. None of the bar staff knew about this ‘offer’ so o e of them put a call into the manager, shouting down the phone ‘there’s some woman down here asking for free drinks’. I contacted the manager the next day suggesting a little staff training might be called for. I did get an apology. I wasn’t the only with the ‘free drink’ token.

Funnygran Tue 07-Jun-22 12:45:45

I told my grandson to be more careful after he had twice had to go and retrieve his football from my next door neighbour’s garden. He replied that the old lady didn’t mind. She’s a month older than me - 73!

Kate1949 Tue 07-Jun-22 12:54:12

For those, including me, who would rather be lady than woman. When I was working I attended a meeting where the presenter referred to us as ladies. A woman put her hand up and said 'You've called us ladies twice now. We are women. If you call us ladies again I will report you'. The poor man was mortified. This was about 15 years ago.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 07-Jun-22 12:55:01

How ridiculous.

LovelyLady Tue 07-Jun-22 12:56:00

Perhaps give the cleaning lady the benefit of the doubt. She was perhaps encouraging them to come sooner given your age.
Old lady at till - please give her some consideration and come quickly.
Yes folk do see us as old. Years ago people didn’t live this long. So we are old if we’re over 60. Just factual.

Saggi Tue 07-Jun-22 12:56:12

Why are people bothered by the word OLD. It’s what we are. Kids don’t get excited being called kids …. because that’s what they are!!!!
It’s like those ‘twee’ people who can’t say ‘died’ and have to scrabble around for another word or phrase. ‘Passed’ being so ‘yuk’ . Passed what I feel like asking !!

Purplepixie Tue 07-Jun-22 12:57:23

So very very rude.

AmberSpyglass Tue 07-Jun-22 12:59:21

I honestly can’t get worked up about someone probably on a zero hour minimum wage contract calling a customer old.

GrumpyGrandy Tue 07-Jun-22 13:01:00

Name and shame the shop, we know that we are mature (!) but that was just plain rude.

HazelEyes Tue 07-Jun-22 13:05:12

For all the people on here saying what is wrong with it. It was a rude way of saying who was waiting at the till and unnecessary. Being old is different to different people and a lot of people would not have liked that description being given. Being old is a description of someone, likewise being fat is a description of someone but not a way of describing a person in a loud voice for all to hear!

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 07-Jun-22 13:06:18

Don’t complain to the shop or ‘name and shame’. By my standards the cleaner was rude but it’s probably their usual way of speaking. Do you want to get a poorly paid worker disciplined for a trivial slight? I’m sure you don’t.

SachaMac Tue 07-Jun-22 13:08:16

Such bad manners, some people forget they too will be old one day if they’re lucky.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 07-Jun-22 13:11:08

Unfortunately not everyone has been shown what good manners are.

widgeon3 Tue 07-Jun-22 13:12:07

At a state school , in Lancashire in the 50s, there were several words we were not allowed to say.... or things it was suggested we had better not do.
Apart from the not wearing of gloves or hat and the not eating in the street ( these seemed fairly common from a grammar school with pretensions) it was regarded as a grave sin if we underlined our signature. This portrayed lack of confidence?

We should NEVER say Toilet or Lady..... we were , in fact, women of the new world.... setting out to put things to rights but we should, always be polite enough to allow the char lady/ cleaning lady her own pretensions

Milest0ne Tue 07-Jun-22 13:30:20

Tell her she should go to "Specsavers " Other opticians are available but should we recommend them to such bad mannered people?

H1954 Tue 07-Jun-22 13:33:56

Totally unacceptable behaviour.........I would have complained there and then to the store manager AND written to Head Office too!

Where's the respect? It shouldn't matter what age or ability a person is and on this occasion the dialogue should have been "Is there a checkout operator available, there's a customer waiting"! Not difficult is it?

PamQS Tue 07-Jun-22 13:37:53

Bodach

I don't know about you lot, but I positively embrace my aged (mid-70's) status. Being called "old" doesn't bother me at all. If I were being referred to as "silly old" or "ugly old" or even "miserable old", then I would probably object to the first part, but not the second - which I bear with considerable pride, satisfaction and a smidgen of surprise at having made it thus far...

I started referring to myself as an old lady when I was approaching my 60th birthday, to get used to the idea of being seen as an old woman! I don’t make any attempt to look younger, other than rejecting grey hair as I don’t think it suits me.

Yammy Tue 07-Jun-22 13:38:44

Saggi

Why are people bothered by the word OLD. It’s what we are. Kids don’t get excited being called kids …. because that’s what they are!!!!
It’s like those ‘twee’ people who can’t say ‘died’ and have to scrabble around for another word or phrase. ‘Passed’ being so ‘yuk’ . Passed what I feel like asking !!

The Kids aren't kids either they are not baby goats. First lecture when training to teach 50 years ago. I think you mean children.

Peaseblossom Tue 07-Jun-22 13:50:20

Doodledog that tickled me. ??

kircubbin2000 Tue 07-Jun-22 13:56:39

Esmay

It is very rude .
I'd rather be called lady !
Customer would be the correct /more polite term .

About 25 years ago ,I heard my friend's husband (who actually knew me ) describe me as some foreign woman at the door !
I'm not foreign and I didn't like being called woman !

My daughter in law read the letter the hospital had sent to her doctor. It began 'this Chinese woman has complained of....etc.'. No name given and she is Not Chinese!