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AIBU

Why does he do this?

(57 Posts)
Nandalot Mon 13-Jun-22 14:00:10

DH has always been the one to do the shopping, (now online). He has always had a tendency to overbuy. We have kitchen cupboards, a pantry under the stairs, a shelving unit in the utility, part of an upstairs wardrobe full of groceries, not forgetting water, squash etc under the model railway in the garage. Oooh and paper goods secreted in odd cupboards upstairs. He has always had this tendency to stock up which became exacerbated with Brexit and Covid. I have just bought a slow cooker in order to cut down on electricity and this has warranted a rearrangement of kitchen cupboards. This has brought home to me just how much stuff we have! I have also realised that he is just the same with medicines. Two of the large shelves in the kitchen wall cupboards, plus four of the shelves in the small cupboards are full of medicines, both prescription and other, plus plasters etc. You may wonder why this has come as a surprise to me? Well, DH has always done a lot of the cooking but since I had my pacemaker fitted, as we have an induction hob, he has done nearly all except for baking.
So I suppose I shouldn’t complain really!

Cabbie21 Mon 13-Jun-22 19:01:29

Sounds like my DH too. He never orders one of an item, it has to be three. Not just food. Anything. That includes stationery, ink cartridges, packs of kitchen roll…… our house is full. The garage contains two work benches plus shelves and boxes of stuff- electrical and electronic bits, endless tools, varnishes, gardening tools……hardly any of it is touched these days, but he wont sort it out.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 13-Jun-22 19:05:27

Are we married to the same man Cabbie? It sounds very familiar. ?

Cabbie21 Mon 13-Jun-22 19:15:41

Oh dear, GSM!

CanadianGran Mon 13-Jun-22 19:20:40

We go through our cupboards a few times a year. Also, my DH is in charge of the freezer, and he does a good job. Things are dated when they go in, etc.

He's more organized than I am. I do have a tendency to purchase too much of one thing, and forget the other. I bought tins of tuna which were on sale, but we already had about 6 in the cupboard. I foresee tuna sandwiches on the menu for lunch for the next while...

Callistemon21 Mon 13-Jun-22 19:27:04

Germanshepherdsmum

Are we married to the same man Cabbie? It sounds very familiar. ?

Mine too. "It's bound to come in useful or day".

Why does he do this?
How old is he Nandalot
Was he brought up with rationing?

Callistemon21 Mon 13-Jun-22 19:28:12

One day ....
Is he a trigamist do you think?

Purplepixie Mon 13-Jun-22 19:29:00

He’s doing a grand job in doing the cooking but I think you might have to go through all of the stuff and maybe give some to a much needed food bank. Try and look at the dates and eat the older stuff first etc. It would drive me mad to have DH doing the food shopping and the cooking as well. He does cook now and again but I totally do the food shop and our cupboards have plenty in them and not overstocked. When my youngest son was at uni he used to take a lot of the stuff with him and it was great to see it going to a good home.

Yammy Mon 13-Jun-22 19:36:22

Calendargirl

We are always reading on GN how shocking it is in this day and age that people are having to resort to food banks, so if the OP is throwing good food away simply because her pantry, fridges and freezers are rammed with so much food that it’s out of date, then yes, I stand by my comments, judgemental or not Thistlelass.

Surely she must have been aware of how much foodstuff her husband has been acquiring? If he’s having memory problems, then she needs to help him sort out their food requirements.

I think you should keep your thoughts to yourself, the Op has enough guilty feelings without you adding to them. Would food banks welcome gifts of out of date food. If the poor chap has a problem then he needs help ,it's probably just a hangover from what his mother did in the 50's and 60's they always bought things in twos even packets of nylons.
Would you tackle your husband about his hoarding behaviour if he is doing most of the cooking. I think the op is probably doing it in the most diplomatic way she can ,and just wanted to let off steam and a bit of encouragement. So many posters are quick with the knives these days on gransnet. Et tu Brutus.

Callistemon21 Mon 13-Jun-22 19:46:14

midgey

There is an excellent app called olio, the idea is that you can give away food that is not wanted. I know my son has given away part jars of unwanted things. May be of use to OP

I am surprised that anywhere would accept opened packets or jars in case they had been tampered with.

Not saying your son would, of course, but someone just might.

Lucca Tue 14-Jun-22 00:54:52

in the 50's and 60's they always bought things in twos even packets of nylons

Really ?!!

Calendargirl Tue 14-Jun-22 06:55:20

I think you should keep your thoughts to yourself

Well, that comment probably applies to many posters on GN in general then.

NanKate Tue 14-Jun-22 07:49:37

You are describing my husband exactly ! If we bought nothing else for 6 months we would still have enough food to last us till Christmas. And it isn’t just food it’s the loft and garage that are full. I can only just squeeze in to open the freezer!

I console myself that he isn’t a womaniser, drinker or mean, so I better just get on with it.

Our son says when we die he will get a number of skips in and bin the lot. What a wise lad ?

Cabbie21 Tue 14-Jun-22 08:13:55

It took three skips to clear the debris from my parents’ loft, garage and outbuildings, that’s after endless trips to charity shops and things dispersed amongst the family, including tins of food.We vowed not to do the same to our children but it will happen..

Cabbie21 Tue 14-Jun-22 08:19:47

As to why do they do it?
Rationing, thriftiness, fear of running short.
Spend now, save later.
Buy in bulk- used to be cheaper, now, not always.
Make do and mend attitude, means keeping things in case they come in handy, for parts.
Love of quirky collectibles, which might one day be valuable.
Lack of energy to deal with the accumulation.
In DH’s case, not wanting to face up to the reality that he is not immortal.

icanhandthemback Tue 14-Jun-22 09:51:30

My stepfather finds working the online shopping more of a problem these days and relies on one of their shopping tools of what he has bought previously. Unfortunately, he keeps forgetting to remove items he doesn't need so we are drowning in cleaning stuff. He is very independent in that he doesn't want help with the shopping so I do a lot of sighing and find new homes for as much as I can sneak out.

Callistemon21 Tue 14-Jun-22 09:54:56

Cabbie21

It took three skips to clear the debris from my parents’ loft, garage and outbuildings, that’s after endless trips to charity shops and things dispersed amongst the family, including tins of food.We vowed not to do the same to our children but it will happen..

Oh dear. I said to DS that he'll need a big skip here one day and he said he'd need three!

Esmay Tue 14-Jun-22 11:48:28

It sounds like a fear of running out of things. Fine until it gets out of control storage wise .

Caleo Tue 14-Jun-22 13:11:11

Hoarding is sensible at a time of inflation. Successful hoarding depends on tidy and adequate storage space. It's nice that your husband has spare money to buy stuff he does not immediately need.

As a matter of interest, does your husband keep his stores in order so he knows how to find an item when he needs it?

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 14-Jun-22 13:27:29

And practise stock rotation?

MawtheMerrier Tue 14-Jun-22 15:11:27

icanhandthemback

My stepfather finds working the online shopping more of a problem these days and relies on one of their shopping tools of what he has bought previously. Unfortunately, he keeps forgetting to remove items he doesn't need so we are drowning in cleaning stuff. He is very independent in that he doesn't want help with the shopping so I do a lot of sighing and find new homes for as much as I can sneak out.

Given current inflation I would lose little sleep over this.
Cleaning stuff keeps for ever and you’ll be the ones laughing wen it has all doubled in price!

Purplepixie Tue 14-Jun-22 15:18:02

My dad used to say that tinned foods had a lot longer life than the manufacturers say. Possibly for us to throw them away and buy more.

Having thought about it I think your husband is wise to build the cupboards etc up. We shortly wont be able to feed, cloth or heat ourselves in this country!

Yammy Tue 14-Jun-22 15:42:35

Lucca

*in the 50's and 60's they always bought things in twos even packets of nylons*

Really ?!!

Yes in the same colour then if one laddered in each pack they still had another pair you could get boxes with two pairs in.

Yammy Tue 14-Jun-22 15:45:26

Purplepixie

My dad used to say that tinned foods had a lot longer life than the manufacturers say. Possibly for us to throw them away and buy more.

Having thought about it I think your husband is wise to build the cupboards etc up. We shortly wont be able to feed, cloth or heat ourselves in this country!

So do I , he will be the one laughing when the rest of us are moaning about inflated prices.

icanhandthemback Tue 14-Jun-22 17:26:57

MawtheMerrier

icanhandthemback

My stepfather finds working the online shopping more of a problem these days and relies on one of their shopping tools of what he has bought previously. Unfortunately, he keeps forgetting to remove items he doesn't need so we are drowning in cleaning stuff. He is very independent in that he doesn't want help with the shopping so I do a lot of sighing and find new homes for as much as I can sneak out.

Given current inflation I would lose little sleep over this.
Cleaning stuff keeps for ever and you’ll be the ones laughing wen it has all doubled in price!

Just a bit worried that too much bleach might be a problem. I let him keep the disinfectant. It tickles me because he is a man who does as little cleaning as possible.

Lucca Tue 14-Jun-22 18:22:25

Yammy

Lucca

in the 50's and 60's they always bought things in twos even packets of nylons

Really ?!!

Yes in the same colour then if one laddered in each pack they still had another pair you could get boxes with two pairs in.

What,everyone bought everything in twos ??
I didn’t.