Dressing gown all day?!

I would position my lap top/computer so that it is not possible for your house guest to walk behind you.

Earlier I was referring to people going out in public dressed in pjs and rollers as being gross lazy and unacceptable. Not people in the privacy of their own homes.

I think that if you find it unacceptable in your home, then you have the right to speak to her about it.

If you don’t it will niggle away at you and become a bigger problem than it needs to be.

If she is going to wander around in a dressing gown it needs to be one that covers her properly.
I think it's OK for you to say that, or to insist she stays upstairs until she is dressed.
I don't think it's a lot to ask. You are not being unreasonable.

How about a screen, like the tri-fold ones that are popular these, days so that you could put it up between your work area and the rest of the room?

This is the sort of thing I mean.

Redhead56

Earlier I was referring to people going out in public dressed in pjs and rollers as being gross lazy and unacceptable. Not people in the privacy of their own homes.

Why is it gross, lazy and unacceptable to go out in pjs and rollers? It’s not something I would choose to do, but what other people wear is really none of my business unless I have some sort of responsibility for them. Why do you have a problem with it?

This poor lady may feel that she has no reason to get dressed for, being a stranger in someone’s home, relying on charity cannot be easy.

If I was a stranger in someone else’s home I’d certainly get dressed.
If she is deliberately sauntering past you whilst you are on a video call, wearing a very short dressing gown, maybe she has more confidence than you think!

Your house your rules.

If I've had a busy week, going out and about most days, there's nothing I like more than having the occasional pj and dressing gown day. There's nothing wrong with my "mental health"; I'm just a lazy bugger occasionally.

I sleep naked and wear long loose kaftans around the house with no underwear. Same if guests come. My house, my rules. Ive even been known to just throw a coat on top and go by taxi to someone's house wearing a kaftan. However they do cover me up completely with all the bulges and naughty bits hidden.

Gagajo that did make me smile ! I agree with those who are saying that she is a guest in your home that you have been very kind to welcome and could wear at least a t shirt and comfortable joggers in the day time.

I’m still in my dressing gown at about 12 minutes to 1 pm.

In mitigation, for those more censorious GNers, I did have a very busy day and evening yesterday, and I promise I’m going upstairs now, to make myself presentable. (Also in case anyone comes to the door, of course…).

Its only been 2 weeks..leave her be -she is traumatised and think some of the GNs comments are really harsh! And I also love a dressing gown day when not going out...also might add, when i was severely depressed i couldn't be bothered ..you don't really know the extent of her mental health issues! She's not a holiday guest in a B&B..

I was surprised the first time I heard the GC were having a pyjama day, thinking about it I suppose it was relaxing.
I think you have to adjust where you sit if you can. I admire you taking in a complete stranger.

The issue isn't really what she's wearing, but that she comes into view on the screen when you're working!

It's perfectly reasonable for you to ask her to desist, regardless of the layout of your working area.

Why don't you just blur your background on your lap top, so all people can see is you...
Thats what I do if my rooms a mess when I'm on a teams meeting..... I stay in my dressing gown all day if its my day off and I'm cleaning the house....I may have a shower around 4pm then get dressed.. or I may just put fresh pjs on 8f I'm staying in....very judgy people on this thread ?

Chewbacca

If I've had a busy week, going out and about most days, there's nothing I like more than having the occasional pj and dressing gown day. There's nothing wrong with my "mental health"; I'm just a lazy bugger occasionally.

Me too. I will happily sit in my pjs and Oodie if I know I am going nowhere and having no visitors. I have a bath and change into clean pyjamas before bed. I wouldn't go out like that though, and wouldn't go on Zoom either.

I don't understand the link between wearing pjs and mental health. I can see that those with depression might not want to get dressed, but I don't think that not wanting to get outdoor clothes dirty and creased means that someone is depressed.

Personally, I wouldn't care if a visitor wanted to stay in her dressing gown all day, but I wouldn't be happy to have her appearing on a Zoom meeting at all (dressed or otherwise). I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask her to stay out of the way when you are working.

On a purely personal level I dont see any kind of a link between dressing in a particular kind of way and being "ready for the day". I wouldnt go out in the street in PJs and hair curlers but only because I dont own any curlers or PJs. One of the great things about being older is that youve earned the right to dress and do as you please (within the law). If others want to be judgemental thats their problem.

However the question revolved around the OP and her business meetings and the impression that a stranger wandering by in skimpy garments may make. I would not hesitate to tell a "guest" to stay out of camera shot if she was walking about like that.

well, think of putting rules in place before offering your home to a stranger!

Calendargirl

She should get dressed.

No idea why anyone wants to wear a dressing gown all day.

I’m in my dressing gown now, 8.05 Sunday morning. I would love to stay like this all day. It’s so comfortable. I will probably bow to convention and get dressed soon, poor pathetic conformist creature that I am.

if you want to stay in a dressing gown all day at least get washed/showered then put it back on if want

lemsip

if you want to stay in a dressing gown all day at least get washed/showered then put it back on if want

I don’t think it’s anyone’s business to tell fully functioning adults when to wash/shower.

Maybe she is bored with nothing to do all day? Can you take her out for walks each day, or to the shops?
When you are WFH, can you get out at Lunch time with her?

I know it’s early days but surely she isn’t going to be at home all day with nothing to do?

Not advice really but not sure what you expected of your guest. I'm sure lots of Refugees have integrated well however I'm saying this because a) one of our DDs neighbours has taken in a young family and they are having regrets and b) we also know someone who is helping out with placements and he says a few are breaking down and in some cases the LA has had to step in to offer alternative accommodation. I understand from DD her neighbours problems are Mum not getting up to see to her young children. Going out on her own leaving children behind and basically using family as unpaid babysitters and all round domestics. I think wearing pjs all day is a minor issue compared to some. I'm afraid you may need to stress your house rules if she wants to stay.