School reports

I have never seen my gd’s report nor have I ever discussed my children's reports with my parents nor would I expect to. I just do not understand these grandparents who see this and everything else as their right. It is your children's life not yours

GraceQuirrel

Sounds like something bad has happened and your son is coming to tell you about it face to face?

Not the case, I’m glad to say. He came because it’s the last chance of a visit before they leave for a long visit to France.

I have never seen my GCs school reports , nor would I expect it. Grandma 70s please don't feel snubbed over this , school reports good or not so good are private and for the eyes of children
and their parents.

M0nica

I have never seen my grandchildren's school reports. it would never occur to that I should.

This, Its not a right you are the Grandparent not the parent.

Sounds like something bad has happened and your son is coming to tell you about it face to face?

I agree bernie just enjoy your visit with your son and have no expectations or demands You say your son doesn’t want you to see them and that’s the end of it
To feel ‘snubbed and hurt’ is really your problem and you need to manage these feelings and realise it’s time to mentally move on

I should add that I didn’t bring the subject up. My son wanted to discuss it with me.

Daisy79

I think this is a privacy issue. By this age, it should be up to him whether he wants to share his grades with anyone beyond his parents and teacher.

I know you said your grandparents saw your grades, but why do you feel you need access to this information? Unless you are supervising their education, how does this information affect your relationship with them?

Just curiosity! He’s my grandson. We’re all interested in education in our family, so things like reports and marks have always been discussed openly.. I didn’t ever ask to see them, but they were forwarded to me as a matter of course. We didn’t think of reports or exam marks as private. However, this boy is going through a moody stage (not unusual at 13!), so we have to tread carefully.

I had a visit from my son this afternoon, and he offered to show me the report, but I said no, just in case the boy would mind. We had a general discussion about it and many other things, and I feel happier about it.

They are thinking of sending him to a different school, so knowing his level of ability is important. He feels overburdened in the very selective school he’s at now, and obviously I was curious to know what the school thought. It really isn’t so very extraordinary!

Too much emphasis is being put on percentages & remarks on a school report. There is so much more involved in rearing a well balanced individual.

Oh dear. As others have said it is not a right and your GS is their child and not yours. I'm sorry being a grandmother I would never expect to see things like this, if they want to share then it is upto them. It is hard to step back but you must do. When your son visits you need to enjoy the time and not bring the subject up, they will tell you if they want too.
Hope you have a wonderful visit with family. Xxx

I would never think of asking to see my GC school report. To be honest, it’s none of our business! We had our children, these aren’t ours.

I think this is a privacy issue. By this age, it should be up to him whether he wants to share his grades with anyone beyond his parents and teacher.

I know you said your grandparents saw your grades, but why do you feel you need access to this information? Unless you are supervising their education, how does this information affect your relationship with them?

My parents never saw one report I had from school. I destroyed and forged my mother's signature when they asked if parents had seen the report. It was just so bad I had failed every exam so I never took it home. I never ever told them about it either even as a an adult.

I have never seen their reports and I wouldn’t expect to. I get told how amazing my GC are doing or not but I don’t see the actual document. I actually I don’t need to see them as I can see their progress.
I think it’s very personal especially at 13!!. I would feel I was boarding on being interfering and intrusive, if I even asked to see them. I most certainly wouldn’t feel hurt or snubbed by such a thing.
I am a teacher (older age group) and actually most reports are copied and pasted from one student to the next now a days. We keep a general profile of each child and just focus on few individual areas personal to the child but largely the rest is just pasted in, according to targets. Some teachers even use software that generates a largely generic report.

My son always sends me copies of his grandchildren’s school reports. Their school is very much involved with grandchildren because so many parents are work.

I’ve always been shown my g/childrens school reports …but I’ve never asked to see them. That’s the difference….but since Ive stopped walking them to and from school and attending concerts and sports days … that has rather dropped off! But that’s because I’m not ‘in the loop’ with them now due to other responsibility’s. But I do not consider it’s my right to see reports…. and I suspect that if either of them , boy 15 and
girl 10, has a bad report …they would not want me to see it . I’d respect that! Don’t feel you’re left out of family over a silly thing like reports. You’re always be gran!

Perhaps at 13 as a young teenager he has expressed the wish for his parents to withhold the school report from you, after all he is now able to make that sort of decision for himself and hope that his parents respect his wishes. Different if he hands you the report to read or tells you what is in it or how he has done at school himself and asks for your opinion/advice. So get over it and start to realise that your grandchildren are people not commodities and you are not the most important person in their lives.

Did you actually ask to see the report?
He’s getting a big boy. You say the school mention some personal stuff.
He’ll perhaps not want his Gran to be privy to such things. I’m thinking Dad has his sons best interest.
I’d suggest not mentioning anything about the report. Not even a hint.
As a Gran, we’re here for cuddles and support. Please please don’t put your son in the position where he feels he has to refuse you. You say you’re a close family don’t ever jeopardise that. Pretend this conversation with your son hasn’t happened.
Mine are still young and I see some but not all reports. I’m sure in years to come, they’ll only be happy showing me if it’s a glowing report.
Enjoy your son visiting.

Ahh you are just trying to show love and an interest!
I guess if they aren’t shutting g you out in any other way - it could be worse.
Family day out somewhere in the holidays ? ❤️

It's actually not any of your business

No you shouldn't see it as a matter of course......not unless it is an amazing one

I don't think you should feel snubbed in any way, at that age your grandson probably feels quite vulnerable and embarrassed about having a not very good school report and I think you seeing it could lead to some very awkward conversations.

I usually showed my mum school reports when my children were younger (they are 29, 18 and 16 now!) and have just seen my grandson's first school report (he is 5) and it was lovely but I certainly wouldn't demand that I see every one and if he/my daughter didn't show me one of his reports, I really wouldn't be that bothered.

That's it exactly. AshleysGran. I've never felt that anything to do with our grandchild is our right. I realise we have no rights. However, when something that has always happened suddenly stops happening without explanation, it's quite hurtful and quite frankly rude.

Mmm, not sure why you even 'expect to be treated as part of the family'. For sure, you are part of the family, but it's a little arrogant to 'expect' to be treated as such. Sadly, our job as a Mum of boys ends pretty much when they get married. We inevitably go down a bit in the pecking order and have to sometimes learn to watch from the sidelines. It's a rite of passage.

It's fine to ask what other families do/don't do.
We wouldn't know these things unless we asked.