School reports

I understand Grandma but it’s not a snub on you just something they may not want to continue now they’re no longer primary age children there’s nothing bad about it, just it is as it is
I would totally accept it without meetings or going into it all with your son I really think that’s over the top to have these expectations The boy may be disappointed in himself and not want others chewing over it even if you are non judgemental

I suppose it’s just that it’s a sudden change. We have, as a family, always shared these things. Just grandparents, that is. I wouldn’t expect to share with aunts and uncles, nieces/nephews, cousins.

I doubt if the boy knows I’ve ever seen them.

I know what you mean, Gagajo, but actually his school writes really personal reports, and there will be exam marks on them too. My son has just said he will come and see me tomorrow (200-odd miles), so I expect I’ll hear a bit more. I’ve said it’s up to him what he tells me, and that I don’t mind. (Not quite true!)

I used to see the two grand children that lived near me, but never seen any of the others and have never asked to
It’s not really a full on expectation is it ? one of those things that’s nice if it happens but not a big deal if it doesn’t
If I was 13 and hadn’t had a brilliant report I wouldn’t want it sharing out nor would I be passing it around if I was your son let them deal with the problems

I don’t understand why you don’t feel part of the family and are hurt by it that seems over the top

I've seen them but wouldn't expect to. TBH, reports are usually a load of guff anyway. Teachers are actively discouraged from writing anything negative. A lot of what's in them will be repeated and just phrased differently for other children.

Maybe he asked his Dad not to show you. I would brush it off as he and the family are maybe very upset about it.

We always saw our granddaughter's reports. We never expected to or asked to. Our daughter always showed us. They were always excellent, not sure we would have been shown otherwise!

I’ve seen them when my grandchildren were small but don’t recall seeing any from after Y7 in the secondary schools. It is really up to the parents. As you get on well with your son try not to let him know you are hurt, just accept his decision.

It’s nice if they offer to show school reports to you, but probably don’t want to if they are not too good.

It’s not your right to see them, and you shouldn’t bring it up.

But while I understand that you feel hurt you should think how lucky you were to see his former reports! He is growing up and is becoming independent, while he stills very much cares for you he needs some things to be private between him and his parents.

Yes YABU, you shouldn't expect to see your GC school reports, it's not a right, it's a privilege.

Respect your sons decision, he is the child's parent and it is his call if you see the report or not. The child is 13, I'm sure there will be countless opportunities in the future for you to read reports or appraisals, if he and his dad wish you to.

I suspect a 13 year old wouldn’t want a not so great school report shared with his grandmother or anyone else who doesn’t need to see it.