Posts and Responses to them

My action here contradicts the fact that I wish a thread like this would have absolutely no responses whatsoever.

I always try to remember that offence is taken rather then given. I find it helps.

Also, someone used the phrase "witheringly dismissive" upthread. Witheringly dismissive remarks are a hallmark of strong debates and the fun and intellectual challenges to be had from them.

Lucca

Not this again. A few weeks ago we had a huge long thread along these lines. Sorry but let’s not rehash all that.

I agree none of us in the end seemed to know what was going on.
One man's joke is another,s snide remark, I think you have to accept that on an open forum where no one knows each other.
There do appear to be quite a lot of new names in the last couple of weeks.
So let's say welcome if you are new or returning and be adult about it and accept you are not always right and your opinions are not always the same as others or what is the point of a forum?

DorothyGlamour

toscalily

An inadvertent/thoughtless remark can cause discomfort so a simple apology would have been sufficient, the person chose not to do so.

Yes, I agree.

And I also agree with this" I actually thought that the OP's reaction in said thread was very extreme" from MaizieD.

Are you referring to me ? I did apologise actually.

toscalily

The thread In question was yesterday, 11/9 not the one from several weeks ago. The remark was inappropriate, the original poster may or may not return because they may have been upset and the person who was being facetious came back later with another quip but did not bother to apologise and has now contributed to this thread.

I'm confused!

How do you know which is the thread in question, the OP didn't refer to any in particular?

Sorry, the top paragraph was a quote from Dorothy at 13.44

(I’m not used to cutting and pasting - I assumed it would be in a different font!)

Its like some folk can't wait to spot something to call out then others join in, usually making the whole situation worse rather than better.

Isn’t this exactly what the opening post was / is doing?

(That’s a rhetorical question by the way)

toscalily

An inadvertent/thoughtless remark can cause discomfort so a simple apology would have been sufficient, the person chose not to do so.

Yes, I agree.

And I also agree with this" I actually thought that the OP's reaction in said thread was very extreme" from MaizieD.

GrannyGravy13

Personally I would rather call out any insults or rudeness on the thread it occurs.

How is anyone on this thread meant to know to what thread/poster you are referring?

One of the main issues for me is that any insults or rudeness either real or perceived seem to result in barrages of just as bad or worse insults or rudeness from others.

Its like some folk can't wait to spot something to call out then others join in, usually making the whole situation worse rather than better.

An inadvertent/thoughtless remark can cause discomfort so a simple apology would have been sufficient, the person chose not to do so.

Germanshepherdsmum

I also agree with Lucca and Maw.
This is social media, not the WI.

Im not on the forum as regularly currently but - what ever is going on? The awful mumsnet-gransnet thread led to some long standing, kind, interesting posters leaving.

If something needs saying, do it on the thread where your idea of rudeness occurred. We aren’t all going to agree on what is offensive. It’s a forum. We are all different, United only by enjoying chatting on line
No one owns or polices threads - well Michael or other mods respond to report buttons. We seem to have rather a lot of button pressers currently

grannydarkhair

toscalily I was referring to the thread that Doodledog in particular referred to in her post. I wasn’t aware of any problem yesterday, sorry.

The 'problem' yesterday, which I am seeing differently from toscalily, is what this unnecessary thread is about.

I actually thought that the OP's reaction in said thread was very extreme.

toscalily I was referring to the thread that Doodledog in particular referred to in her post. I wasn’t aware of any problem yesterday, sorry.

My opinion is that we may read a post and have a very personal response to it which cancels out any intention that the poster may have had. I have just read an example of why the late Queen is said to have had a great sense of humour and my response was that she was putting the recipient of the comment in his place. I know why I thought this and recognise that I was filtering the story through my personal experience and that I was way off the mark. But that is just me and my opinion.

The thread In question was yesterday, 11/9 not the one from several weeks ago. The remark was inappropriate, the original poster may or may not return because they may have been upset and the person who was being facetious came back later with another quip but did not bother to apologise and has now contributed to this thread.

I have no idea which thread has sparked this rather nasty one; I expect many others don't either.

I think I came across it by accident yesterday. Yes, it was a serious thread, someone did toss in a jokey one liner and was immediately descended on by the thread police.

I really didn't think it was worth making such a fuss about. It wasn't unpleasant or witheringly dismissive. It could have easily been ignored.

It certainly didn't need this thread starting about it...

"Threads that have gone before" should be left in the past. It's not helpful to anyone to keep probing into what was said and how it was said.

I have no idea which thread has sparked this rather nasty one; I expect many others don't either.

It doesn't have to be nasty though and most people on this thread who may disagree with it, have managed to answer civilly. If they got their tone wrong, they apologised. Very little nastiness to see here...atm!

The thread which caused a lot of animosity was eventually deleted by Gransnet admin, some of you may not have seen any of it as it started on a Sunday afternoon.

GrannyGravy13

Personally I would rather call out any insults or rudeness on the thread it occurs.

How is anyone on this thread meant to know to what thread/poster you are referring?

We're not. Threads like this are meant to cause unrest and bad feeling. Shooting fish in a barrel, as they say.

After a refreshing swim in the sea off Croatia….I’m back to say Thank you to those who supported my comment/instinctive reaction !

Personally I would rather call out any insults or rudeness on the thread it occurs.

How is anyone on this thread meant to know to what thread/poster you are referring?

Grannybags

I agree with Lucca and Maw That was my first thought too

I agree too. I hadn't a clue what was going on.

I also agree with Lucca and Maw.
This is social media, not the WI.

It's easy to misunderstand things that are only in printed words. That's worth always bearing in mind for online discussions. Something that seems inconsiderate might not be at all.